The Beckhams are one of my favorite celebrity families to keep tabs on. It’s not because I’m particularly fanatical about David and Victoria Beckham. (Although I do dig Victoria’s perpetually annoyed vibe and will throw on the Spice Girls occasionally.) I mainly appreciate them and their gaggle of industrious children because they’re all hustlers. And by “hustlers,” I mean very bad business people who, for the past 10 years, have tried their damnedest to keep their illustrious name from fading into the shadows.
As long as Gen Z-ers keep making ’90s nostalgia accounts, the Beckhams will never not be talked about. But whether their empire can compete with, say, that of the Kardashians or any other long-standing Hollywood power couple is another story.
In recent years, Victoria and David have become tabloid fixtures for their respective business losses and the alleged drama it’s supposedly caused within their marriage. Their youngest son, Cruz, is apparently a pop singer, although I’ve never heard a song. Meanwhile, middle-child Romeo is playing on his father’s football team Inter Miami and just signed with English Premier League soccer team Brentford. (Apparently, he doesn’t suck, as he was just signed by Brentford.) Their 11-year-old daughter, Harper, is still just an 11-year-old. But there’s no way she won’t eventually be thrust into the spotlight.
The family member whose career I’m currently most fascinated by, though, is eldest son, Brooklyn. This week, the influencer/internet chef was dragged on social media for another one of his courageous attempts to prepare an edible, enticing meal. It’s just one of many Ls he’s taken on his recent journey to becoming the male Chrissy Teigen.
On Tuesday, Brooklyn posted a video on Instagram, in partnership with Chosen Foods, of himself making fried chicken with the brand’s avocado oil. Any sort of chicken tutorial from a white, British man sounds like a bad idea. However, this particular recipe seemed to piss off a good number of commenters, many of whom criticized the amount of oil he used.
“That’s a LOT of oil,” one user wrote, cutting to the chase. “Hi Brooklyn, looks great, is it ok for my grandfather with clogged arteries? Thanks,’” wrote another. “There are people dying in the world from starvation - you used enough oil and milk for about 20 people. But you wouldn’t understand that,” reads one.
“You still have to season the chicken [...] avocado oil for frying?” a fourth critic remarked.
To be fair, frying any food, whether it’s poultry or Oreos, requires a copious amount of oil, so I don’t really understand the critiques from the portion police. What’s more offensive is the use of avocado oil itself. Just visually, this looks wrong. In my Black experience, fried chicken is almost always made with Crisco or vegetable oil—something with a more bland taste. Although Brooklyn notes in the seemingly company-written caption that Chosen Foods’ avocado oil has a “neutral flavor,” it typically does not and, instead, tastes like clay. He’s also contractually obligated to say this, so how can we trust him?
Given that the video is a brand endorsement, the specific recipe was probably out of his control. However, this isn’t the first time Brooklyn has been dragged for his culinary aspirations.
Who can forget the Facebook Watch cooking series Cookin’ With Brooklyn (that may or may not be canceled), where he revealed that he apparently doesn’t know how to cook anything? The production was also slammed for being extremely costly and allegedly requiring 62 crew members, despite the fact that episodes were only several minutes long. In January, his mother had to come to his defense after he made a Sunday roast on the show that commenters accused of being raw. And in March, he was forced to explain why he cooked sauce with a wine cork, which actually isn’t that weird. (The proximity of his dog to the food in the photo is more concerning.) I also must point out this video of him repeatedly flipping a well-done pancake that’s almost burnt at the center.
At any rate, this man is never not fighting for his life in the comments section.
Plenty of stars have decided to broadcast their cooking “skills” since the start of the pandemic. But what makes Brooklyn’s attempts to be a chef so fascinating is that he’s had so many career pivots already, and none has exactly catapulted him into A-list territory.
At age 24, he’s already a retired footballer, after being dropped from Arsenal’s youth academy. In addition to modeling, he also had a photography era that was cut short. Despite dropping out of Parsons School of Design after one year, he still managed to publish a photo collection called What I See that made headlines for its abysmal sales. Currently, Brooklyn, along with his new wife Nicola Peltz, are also trying to make a name for themselves as a fashion couple, attending shows and major events together, like this year’s Met Gala, and even doing some videos for Vogue. The jury is still out on whether anyone cares or finds them remotely fashionable.
To be clear, there’s absolutely no shame in trying to find a hobby. But if you’re a nepo baby with endless resources and opportunities that you keep flopping, we reserve the right to laugh at you, especially if your efforts involve avocado oil.
