The next Seinfeld is here, but instead of the Soup Nazi, the King of the Pop-Tarts is our food commander. Moreover, our new leading cast includes Melissa McCarthy, Jim Gaffigan, Amy Schumer, and Hugh Grant. So, it’s maybe not Seinfeld, apart from the fact that Jerry Seinfeld is leading the project.
In case you missed the news a year ago, or perhaps thought it was just an Onion headline, yes, Jerry Seinfeld is making a movie about the creation of the Pop-Tart. The reportedly $70 million film—I gasped when I read that budget; all that money for a movie about $3 treats?—is inspired by one joke from Seinfeld’s last stand-up special on Netflix.
Now, the A-List comic has grabbed the attention of McCarthy, Gaffigan, Schumer, Grant, James Marsden, Jack McBrayer, Tom Lennon, Adrian Martinez, Bobby Moynihan, Max Greenfield, Christian Slater, and Sarah Cooper. Whew! The cast list is stacked, but that’s what happens when you’ve got Jerry Seinfeld directing his directorial debut. Even if it’s for a movie about Pop-Tarts.
Seinfeld, who will also co-star in the movie, has teased it as “a tale of ambition, betrayal, sugar, and menacing milkmen.” Taking place in 1963, Unfrosted: The Pop-Tart Story will trace the brutal origins of the breakfast snack, taking it back to the rivalry of Kellogg’s and Post, as they each attempt to “change the face of breakfast forever.”
Netflix was able to secure the rights to the film (which, apparently, worked up quite the auction) thanks to its healthy relationship with the comedian. After working with him on Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee and his special 23 Hours to Kill, as well as streaming Seinfeld, Unfrosted has found its home amidst the Jerry Seinfeld paradise.
Although Seinfeld’s bit is the clear backbone of the project—his joke is pretty funny, teasing the snack as “a frosted fruit-filled heated rectangle in the same shape as the box it comes in, and with the same nutrition as the box it comes in”—the need for a “Pop-Tart origin story” film is dwindling. These greasy food stories are becoming inedible: Eva Longoria, for instance, is directing a Flamin’ Hot Cheetos movie. Didn’t we learn our lesson from Sausage Party?
Still, this news has worked up my appetite for a brown sugar Pop-Tart. They’re so tasty! Maybe this Seinfeld guy is actually onto something.
