‘The Real Housewives of Dubai’ Glows Up Thanks to Some Petty Beyoncé Drama

It’s stereotypical for a Real Housewife to enter her second season with a tighter face, new lips, and more refined glam. Shaking off the growing pains of the debut, a second-season Housewife knows who she is, and how to work the camera. After an astronomically long wait, The Real Housewives of Dubai is back with a facelift of its own, as the show emerges from its rocky debut to prove its worth.

In the 21 months since RHODubai wrapped its first season, much has been speculated on the show’s survival prospects. Dubai is, in many ways, the Housewives underdog, paling in popularity to fellow newbie The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City, while a The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills lead-in couldn’t carry its first season to similarly skyrocketing ratings. To put it into perspective, Season 2 was filmed from February to May 2023, the same filming timeline as RHOSLC Season 4 And RHOBH Season 13, which both premiered last fall, and—in the case of RHOSLC—has filmed another season already.

But, at long last, RHODubai has risen like a phoenix out of the Dubai desert with the pettiest, most unrelatable drama imaginable. Thank God.

Every Housewives city has its own brand, and RHODubai’s out-of-touch absurdity brings all the spectacle and glamour associated with RHOBH, without the image consciousness. While Season 1 often felt vacuous—perhaps a reflection of the city itself—the Season 2 premiere smartly builds off of the first season’s best aspects, while swapping french fry lover Nina Ali for newbie Taleen Marie. A Marysol Patton variant with a thirst for fame and ample messiness, Taleen promises to be the firestarter the show needs, already starting drama before the cameras even begin rolling.

Friendships have changed in Dubai, as told by this dramatic promotional blurb: “When alliances shift, the ladies question their loyalty to each other as some friendships are left in the desert dust.” I love the theatrical wording of these teases, and the premiere already shows much-needed cracks in the Season 1 alliances.

First, we catch up with Lesa Milan and Chanel Ayan over a game of padel, which looks suspiciously like pickleball. Thankfully, it’s not pickleball, but it’s a bit close for comfort. After a quick game, the ladies sit down to not-so-subtly brag about attending a Beyoncé concert at the newly minted Atlantis The Royal Dubai, where Ayan and Lesa scored not just V.I.P seats, but V.V.I.P. The two canoodled with the likes of Kendall Jenner and allegedly Tina Knowles herself, while Caroline Stanbury and the rest of the ladies had to settle for seats with the rest of the plebs. According to Stanbury and Brooks, though, the V.V.I.P were the real nosebleeds. Apparently, Beyoncé dripped sweat on Stanbury, and she got to sit on the stage.

It’s a fun note to kick off the season, and a blunt reminder that the ladies of Dubai live in luxury and would never pretend otherwise. There are no faux humble Kyle Richards’ in the desert of Dubai. The concert also launches us into conflict between Caroline Brooks and Stanbury, after the former lady of London spreads gossip about Taleen’s drunken behavior. Or, did she? That depends on which Caroline you ask.

But before we get into that, we find ourselves reintroduced to Stanbury, who is living with her “best friend” Michael while she and Sergio build their new home. There’s a very dynamic energy to Stanbury solo scenes, in large part due to the cartoonish absurdity of Sergio. Their marriage makes complete sense while also being a giant question mark, and each moment spent with them answers a few questions, while introducing yet a few more. Even Stanbury’s mini scene showing her filming a TikTok with her husband Sergio—which was obviously his idea—says so much in its six seconds of screentime.

It’s not all TikToks and designer homes with the two of them, though, as Sergio still wants a kid. Stanbury clearly does not, and the trailer promises this will be a source of contention for the newly wedded couple. Stay tuned.

Next, Brooks reintroduces us to her beauty salon The Glass House, which is finally open for business. And, as far as Housewives business go, this one looks shockingly real. It even has Google reviews—and they’re positive! As for businesses that seem a bit more staged, we also get an update on Lesa’s maternity wear line, Mina Roe, which looks like a Housewives business. Very Beverly Beach.

Lastly, we check in with Sara, who’s on a spiritual healing journey of her own. It’s so hard to write that without thinking of Whitney Rose saying “hilling journey,” and I think Bravo should resurrect the Housewife to Housewife series so these two can talk about healing, hilling, and everything in between.

With the “Where are they now?” updates over and done with, the Dubai women clock right in to work. First up, Ayan and Stanbury meet up to squash their beef. Ready to market themselves as the Nene Leakes/Kim Zolciak, Lisa Vanderpump/Kyle Richards, and Karen Huger/Gizelle Bryant of Dubai, the former enemies are in their friends era.

As enemies, the two quickly arose as the breakout stars of the lukewarm first season. And already, their friendship is proving even more captivating. That’s especially true as the season trailer promises a fallout between Ayan and Lesa. Will we get a hot mic as iconic as Lisa Barlow’s rant against Meredith Marks? There’s nothing like two longtime friends falling out as soon as cameras enter their lives.

Meanwhile, former Stanbury ally Brooks is ready to deflect now that her bestie Taleen is in the picture. It’s always great when Bravo pulls from the existing cast members’ real-life friends, and Taleen has fantastic chemistry with Brooks. And that genuine friendship comes far before Brooks’ showmance with Stanbury, apparently, as Brooks wastes no time at the first group event to come after Stanbury.

While we may be inundated by two minutes of slow-motion filler watching the ladies exit expensive cars, as the Selling Sunset-ification of reality TV takes full force over our screens, the event itself is all killer, no filler.

Ayan wastes no time to rub in her V.V.I.P status, before telling Taleen that she heard all about her drunken antics after the Beyoncé concert. While Taleen takes it like a champ, Brooks grabs a hammer and starts swinging at Stanbury, even taking swipes at their routine 7 a.m. phone calls.

“I won’t call you again, with pleasure,” Stanbury assures her, clearly infuriated towards this switch-up.

There’s also some fantastic foreshadowing as Lesa discusses Ayan’s meet-up with Stanbury and says, verbatim, “Don’t steal my best friend.” Oh, Lesa, if only you knew how dire things will become for you very soon. The only wagons you ride may be G, but soon, you may be thrown off the wagon entirely.

But Lesa isn’t the one in the line of fire at the ladies brunch. Rather, it’s Sara, who’s in hot water over her dismissive comments to the press about Ayan’s traumatic past. It should be Brooks in the hot seat, after she refers to a spicy margarita as a “spicy Marge.” What happened to class?

Ayan’s equally confused, as she questions how Sara can be all about spiritual healing while dismissing her traumatic upbringing to Page Six. The two take it one-on-one so Stanbury can “enjoy her bread” in peace. We thank our producer Housewife for giving us a proper one-on-one.

If there’s a lost art in the modern Housewives franchise, it’s that too many conversations take place in group scenes and not over half-eaten one-on-one lunches. So many of the best Housewives moments, from Aviva Drescher arguing that comparing Sonja Morgan to Anna Nicole Smith is a compliment, to Shannon Beador telling Kelly Dodd “You can’t call people ugly!” and Kelly responding “SHE IS UGLY!” were made possible by the telegenic power of the one-on-one sit-down.

And, without the excess group members, the two have a hilarious conversation and find absolutely no resolution, as is the case with the best sit-downs.

“I said, you can not victimize yourself and hurt people because you were hurt. Don’t bleed the people who didn’t cut you,” Sara says, to which Ayan retorts, “Sara, do I look like someone who bleeds?”

Sara’s “What?” in response is a laugh-out-loud moment. How dare she accuse Ayan of having blood. She should know that Ayan exists in a post-human state and her body doesn’t utilize the same humane functions as us mere mortals.

In the coming weeks, Brooks’ feud with Stanbury will further explode, with next week’s episode blowing this solid debut right out of the water. If you ditched RHODubai after its debut, it’s time to jump back in. I mean, really, the Bravo offerings right now are this and a polarizing season of RHONJ as we wait for the return of Jesus Jugs on RHOC, so you may as well give Dubai a chance. Here’s hoping the fresh dynamics continue and RHODubai is able to become a power player in this franchise.