Heather Dubrow Won This Season of ‘Real Housewives of Orange County’

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Despite this season being one of the best in years, Real Housewives of Orange County probably should’ve wrapped things up about two weeks ago. This is evidenced by tonight’s supersized finale where the women spend an hour and 15 minutes expanding their silly list of grievances against Heather Dubrow.

I’m not exaggerating when I say that literally every scene in this episode, aside from one last check-in with Jenn and Ryan, features a conversation about Heather and her alleged lack of accountability. She even receives some delayed accusations from Taylor and Jenn, involving a cup of chicken noodle soup. Heather can’t even eat a boring, low-calorie meal without these Housewives calling her duplicitous!

Following her disastrous time in Mexico, Heather tries her best to turn all the women against Tamra. She comes prepared with some good evidence. But the cast is either too dim-witted to comprehend that Tamra is actually the cause of all their conflicts, or they simply don’t care because they view Tamra as the show’s Queen Bee. Either way, they all come across as a bunch of hypocrites—especially Gina, who started this season warning Heather about Tamra’s scheming but immediately believed her accusation that Heather called her a loser at last year’s BravoCon. It’s fitting that this finale culminates in a “Freak Show” Halloween party, organized by Gina, that’s as hideous as her behavior this season.

Most of this finale feels like a bunch of “deleted scenes” that the editors stitched together at the last minute. Shannon and John go on a loveless dinner date night and promise to spend more time with each other. (At the end of the episode, we learn that they’ve broken up.) Tamra and Shannon force Jenn to do a colonic. Jenn questions Ryan about his fidelity for the umpteenth time, as if she really cares and just doesn’t want Tamra to publicly humiliate her again. Emily and Shannon get their necks cracked together by a weird chiropractor. And Tamra shoots a “Women of the Year” cover for a magazine her friend owns.

Aside from that, Gina and Emily spend this entire finale making me question my sanity, regarding their issues with Heather. Somehow, this finale is probably a worse display for Gina than Tamra, who literally comes to her party dressed like an evil clown. It’s one thing to have a foe like Tamra who you can spot from a mile away. But having an “ally” like Gina, who never defends you when you’re being attacked but will constantly weaponize how “good” of a friend they are to you is way worse. During her sit-down with Heather over this whole BravoCon debacle, Gina continues to argue that she’s been an ahh-mazing friend and really “values” their relationship. And Heather rightfully asks for receipts. (There are none.)

Gina keeps reiterating that she was “hurt” when she went off on Heather in Mexico for her alleged “loser” comment. And Heather says for the 500th time that she was talking about Noella and Season-16 Jen. But Gina’s brain can’t process more than one piece of information at a time, so she keeps squawking about how much this very generic insult has affected her.

Funnily enough, when Heather pulls out evidence of Tamra calling Gina a loser on her podcast, Gina has no reaction. Understandably, Tamra isn’t really her friend, and Gina knows she’s nothing more than an afterthought to her. But for Gina to say, in a confessional, that she didn’t think Tamra was being “malicious” while blaming Heather for not informing her about this comment quickly enough is absolutely ludicrous. Also, Heather did inform her immediately at BravoCon, which is how this whole fiasco started!

I’m also slightly concerned about whatever the hell has happened to Emily this season. Based on her Instagram comments, where she admitted she’s undergone liposuction, taken Ozempic, and works out constantly, she seems very focused on her body right now. Is she morphing into a stereotypical gym rat with zero thoughts, and we’re watching the early stages of her transition? Does spending this much time with Gina naturally make a person dumber??

Whatever it is, Emily starts short-circuiting when she has to confront Heather at Gina’s Halloween party. First, she defends her rudeness this season by explaining that she and her sister poke fun at one another all the time. (You’d think this would make her less sensitive to Heather's jokes this season, but whatever!) And she awkwardly tries to relate this to her childhood trauma.

Meanwhile, she starts crying in her confessional about how the term “loser” is triggering for her because she’s never felt good enough, despite being an accomplished lawyer. It’s clear that women all have inferiority complexes, particularly around wealthy Heather. But are we really going to act like calling someone a loser is a low blow? On Real Housewives??

Taylor and Jenn manage to one-up Emily’s ridiculousness with a complaint they clearly came up with together to get some extra screen time. Suddenly, they’re mad at Heather for leaving their room during their last night in Mexico to get some soup and not coming back. Heather replies that she accidentally fell asleep after she ate. And the editors hilariously add in footage of her knocked out on her bed. Still, Taylor spends the entire night flapping her giant lips about how much of a snob Heather is. Jenn, at least, tries to pull Heather to the side. And Heather promptly reminds her that Tamra has done way worse to her this season. Jenn immediately backs down because she’s Jenn.

Finally, it’s Tamra’s turn to yell at Heather, and I’ve never wanted a season to end so quickly. At one point in the night, Heather tells Emily that Tamra said she wasn’t a practicing lawyer and called her a “party planner.” When Emily snitches to Tamra, Tamra marches over to Heather and starts biting at her ankles like a little chihuahua. (Not literally, but that’s what it looks like.)

Heather has clearly already checked out of this season and gives my favorite Heather quote in years: “You are laboring over the misconception that I give a f*ck.” You can tell that Tamra has no idea what any of that means, so they both tell each to eff off and part ways.

Overall, I think it’s safe to say that Heather technically won the season. Everyone flew too close to the sun by coming at her as a group. Unless the person you’re attacking has done something absolutely despicable, that strategy never works on a Real Housewives show. What’s even funnier is that they've also robbed themselves of a three-part reunion presumably by making this season all about one person in the end. Hopefully, the dynamics will have shifted by the end of the reunion. But these women all seem to be living in their own delusional world.

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