What’s your warm and fuzzy, cold and prickly of this monumental season of The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City?
Is it Heather’s pioneer day brunch where the women played a game of “Who would you throw off the wagon?” Or Lisa and Monica’s fight over Whitney’s “hilling” sound bath? Maybe it’s the number of times Angie K. earnestly mentioned her Greek heritage that tooted your warm and fuzzy horn.
Whatever it may be, the only cold and prickly is that the season has officially ended.
The supersized reunion finale sees the women finally discuss Bermuda and the “Receipts! Proof! Timelines! Screenshots!” heard ’round the world. Not only that, we finally get into the black eye of it all, with unseen footage and a final slam-of-the-door to the ever-looming presence that is the infamous Jen Shah.
It all starts with a hilarious moment where Andy Cohen asks Meredith Marks if she hates him in between segments. Only Resident Ice Queen Meredith can have Andy shaking at his own reunion.
The ladies follow that with a game of impressions, Monica performing her Lisa—which Lisa says Monica’s been practicing since Season 1—before Meredith and Mary do their best Whitney. It’s a fun ice breaker, but things quickly freeze back over once Mary exits stage left and the moment we’ve all been waiting for begins. Time to dive back into Bermuda.
Andy properly addresses the cast trip as a “whodunit,” the closest Bravo will ever come to a Scream final-act reveal. And our resident Jill Roberts (whose iconic line “I don’t need friends. I need fans” just about sums up Monica’s season arc) is ready to own it all—or, not so much.
Now, going into this episode, Monica’s renewal prospects seemed reliably slim, but hardly improbable. But if Reunion: Part 3 could be summed up as anything, it’s the self-destruction of Monica Garcia. And surely enough, just hours before the episode premiered, People confirmed she’s out for Season 5.
Not to say she’s a wordsmith herself, but Lisa summed it up early in the episode when she said “You’re not good at arguing.”
Monica reveals she had been involved with the Reality VonTease Instagram account since 2021, but stands by her claim it was solely vigilante justice against Jen.
“I don’t feel like that page was made for talking s*** on these ladies. I honestly feel like that page didn’t come for any of them,” she says.
But, detective Heather Gay continues her first-ever successful reunion exposing Monica with damning receipts. As Andy scrolls through the account’s endless posts and tirades, it becomes more and more clear that Monica’s relationship with reality is fickle at best, and more likely nonexistent. Although Monica tries to tell Heather she was helping the women, Heather immediately shuts this down.
“Well, thank you. Thank you for being a courier of horrible lies and sh** about me, and thank you for putting it out there, tagging every single Bravo account in the universe,” she says. “You are not a hero in this Monica. You are not a hero.”
It’s succinct. It’s cutting. And it’s true. Monica is the embodiment of the worst parts of the Housewives fanbase, the manifestation of the social media gutter deeply obsessed with these shows and their casts, yet filled with nothing but vitriol. Monica is the human embodiment of the worst part of the Housewives experience—as Heather directly states—so why wouldn’t the women find her unsettling?
Burying Monica further, Heather shows proof the account tagged each of the women in “hundreds” of posts. But it’s Monica who delivers the worst blow—to herself.
Pulling out a Burn Book—a pseudo Mean Girls: The Musical: The Movie nod?—Monica officially loses all the women. Their groans cut through whatever “iconic” moment she attempts to have, instead creating a new “Ohhh that’s not…” that might outdo the infamous The View moment.
Even Monica seems immediately regretful as the moment backfires. As Andy scrolls through the pages, including high school photos of Lisa, Monica defensively cuts him off with each word to justify its existence. Obviously, in a post-Real Housewives of Potomac Season 5 world, everyone wants their Monique’s binder moment. Unfortunately, Monica, this was not that.
“It sounds like in trying to expose Jen, what you did is hurt all of them,” Andy explains to Monica like she’s 7.
I mean, I hardly think self-awareness makes for a good Housewife. Monica’s delusions helped give us a good season. But, it’s so clear at this moment that Andy is begging Monica to show any remorse, just a sliver, and instead she grabs a shovel and hits herself with it, plummeting into an early grave.
As we continue to unpack the layers of the deeply disturbed mind of Monica, Lisa accuses her of stalking the women, particularly Jen. Video footage shows Monica doing drive-bys of Jen’s house, and Heather says she has 20 videos of this (thanks, hairstylist Tenesha!) But, don’t worry, it was an act of kindness.
Monica says the FBI told her to drive by Jen’s house to catch her drinking and driving. The women all laugh at this blatant lie, questioning how you’d catch someone drinking and driving inside their own home. She then immediately backtracks, saying she wasn’t asked to do it. Curious if the FBI will send her to Shannon Beador’s neighborhood next to rescue her dog Archie.
Monica’s already dead and buried, but it gets worse when we learn she gained access to Jen’s security footage and watched it illegally. Miss Monica sure does have time on her hands. It’s kind of admirable really.
It’s almost jarring when we then return to discussing the actual show at hand. Having spent so much reunion time in the behind-the-scenes gutter, Andy redirects to the Greek mafia rumor about Angie. Can a Greek person not be successful?
And Angie delivers a solid moment from her benchwarmer seat, telling Monica she’s at the end of the couch because she’s a “loyal friend.” And, that’s kind of true! It’s not like Eileen Davidson would ever have crawled her way to the coveted hot seat, and some Housewives are okay with that. Sidekicks matter too. And so do Greek women named Angie.
“I’d rather sit here than sit there and be a f***ing low f***ing brow rat out of the f***ing sewer,” she says.
“Brown rat?” Monica replies, to the immediate squashing of Andy and Angie. Sorry girl, Andy can’t handle a made-up Bravo racism scandal when there are so many real ones.
It’s genuinely crazy that Angie is now 3-for-3 in taking on Monica this reunion. I didn’t think she had it in her, but I should know better than to doubt the most iconic flop princess of our time. Contract: renewed.
Moving away from the Monica of it all, we finally dive into Heather’s black eye. Heather reveals that, last year, she knew all along that Jen gave her the black eye, but she didn’t know how. Unseen security footage from the San Diego trip reveals the two conspiring to make a plan, though the audio is unintelligible.
Heather then gives a tearful apology to the cast members and Bravo for propagating the lie, and Andy drags her over the coals for throwing production under the bus.
“I took a lot of hits for the black eye, figuratively and literally,” Heather says tearfully, litigating the fanbase revilement sent her way. “I was the victim, but I was also supposed to be the person that told on [Jen]. And I didn’t have the capacity to do that.”
Then, Heather delivers a moment of literary clarity. “Jen Shah was never my friend,” she admits so casually, cutting through the entire first three seasons and recontextualizing what we always knew to be true.
“She pretended to be my friend, and I fell for it. And I will not fall for a pretend friend again,” she says. “I was a different person when I started the show.”
Many fans have questioned how Heather could justify all of Jen’s behavior yet draw the line at Monica’s trolling. But here, it’s ever so clear. Heather isn’t saying Monica’s worse than Jen, she’s acknowledging she vouched for and lived a life of fear for Jen, and she won’t ever be that victim again.
It’s worth noting Heather’s friendship with Jen came as she was leaving the Mormon church, vulnerable from that ostracization whilst also a victim of fierce loyalty to a shady organization. It’s not surprising she fell hook, line and sinker for Jen’s manipulations.
But to have Heather so clearly reflect on that is a moment the entire show has built towards. It’s one that continues to prove the black eye arc was not RHOSLC at its lowest, but a fascinating character study in the intricate mind of Heather Gay. To dismiss it last year was short-sighted. You all should know better than to question the cinematic genius that is RHOSLC. This isn’t New Jersey.
Heather flips her hot-seat moment on Monica, next, masterfully twisting the knife in the desecrated body. While Heather’s able to own it and move forward in her segment, Monica has only dug her heels further and further.
The women then shake the ghost of Jen off, admitting to the abuse they felt, and finally closing the chapter on perhaps the most twisted Housewives character in history. RHOSLC’s own Alison Dilaurentis, the Jen Shah chapter is officially closed. Or, is it? Only time will tell.
But it’s Monica’s chapter that still needs a final wrap-up.
“Is it too insurmountable for you guys to move on as a group?” Andy asks, while Monica sits blank-faced and defeated.
Whitney shares she’s even more confused by Monica than she was at the beginning of the day, and has no trust in her. Heather and Lisa say there’s nothing she could say to save her spot in the group. Next, Meredith says “trust has been completely decimated,” and the final shark is out. Angie doesn’t get to speak here, which seems fitting. They know she’s too powerful and can only be doled out in small chunks.
When asked for last words, Monica delivers a dry “no.” And thus concludes the Monica Garcia arc of RHOSLC, unable to be saved by the same magical force that keeps renewing Gina Kirschenheiter’s contract.
The reunion closes out with a game of warm and fuzzy, cold and prickly, a beautiful end to a beautiful reunion. RHOSLC Season 4 has officially stuck the landing, entering the upper echelons of the Real Housewives ranks, sure to be referenced alongside other greats for years to come.
It’s unclear where we go from here, but we just witnessed television history, a wonderful watercooler moment in an era so devoid of such. Congratulations to the women of Salt Lake City, even Monica, who will no doubt go down as the best one-season wonder ever. Cheers to many icy years to come.