This week, the lovely bakers of The Great British Baking Show faced the scariest competition of all: Halloween Week! According to the theme, the remaining seven competitors had to create a trio of autumnal bakes, from apple cakes to creepy swinging lantern cookies. Both the signature and showstopper challenges went off without a hitch—but, for the third week in a row, the technical was the real monstrosity.
After Mexican Week’s taco fright fest and Dessert Week’s nightmare lemon meringue pie, we were all warily heading into the technical challenge today. Yet again, The Great British Baking Show floundered, heaving a real mess of a bake at its poor bakers. Can these unlucky batch of pastry chefs catch a break?
Not today. Paul Hollywood demanded the bakers make a handful of perfectly trim s’mores, an American dessert these Brits had no business making. The example s’mores that Paul and Prue nibble on in the judges’ tent look nothing like the smokey s’mores you’d see at a campfire—they look like ice cream sandwiches. Worse: They’re not even a burnt golden brown, the whites of the marshmallows still intact.
This might be controversial, but I don’t see s’mores as a particularly Halloween-themed delicacy. I like candy, pumpkin chocolate chip bars, and apple pie in the month of October. S’mores are usually a scrumptious summer bite, perfect for campfires after a long day of swimming and barbecuing. Sure, I’ll enjoy a s’more in the cooler months, but that’s not really a taste I think of when I hear the word “Halloween.”
Nevertheless, the bakers dive into the challenge. Most of them don’t really know how to make marshmallows, comparing the fluffy candy to Italian meringue and flubbing the gelatin addition. The chocolate ganache, then, becomes the easiest aspect of the s’more to create. But the Brits don’t stick to the graham cracker aspect of the s’more, veering off into new territory.
“Digestive biscuits” are the cookies used instead of graham crackers. These are semi-sweet cookies from Scotland, quite similar to graham crackers, but really, they’re used to help relieve constipation. Now, I don’t know about you, but I’m not really looking to ingest a laxative when I have a s’more for dessert. No, thanks.
When the bakers try to assemble the s’mores, it’s clear that they need an American citizen present for guidance. All of the bakers fear that they’ll set their s’mores on fire, burning the gooey marshmallow, but that’s exactly the point! You need to set your s’more on fire just a touch so that it can get the crispy, flaky, ooey-gooey perfection. Instead, every competitor ends up with bleak white marshmallows. How boring.
The real kicker, though, comes when Paul and Prue return to judge. Simply put: These are two people who have never eaten a s’more in their lives. Instead of picking up the s’mores and eating them like tiny sandwiches, Paul and Prue scrape at the desserts with spoons. SPOONS! Let me repeat this for you: Paul and Prue, the esteemed judges of The Great British Baking Show, eat s’mores with spoons.
As if this weren’t enough, by the end of the judging, Paul Hollywood rips a few of the biscuits from their s’mores, licking the chocolate off as if they were Oreos. Man, what the hell are you doing? The Great British Baking Show used to have class; now, Paul lathers chocolate with his tongue on Britain’s national television.
Still, there was one redeemable aspect of this week’s episode of The Great British Baking Show. Spoilers for folks who haven’t watched it yet! Syabira walked away first in this blasphemous technical challenge, and with a stellar spider showstopper, she finally took home Star Baker. Thank goodness. We’ve been waiting for this moment to happen.
When it comes to technical challenges, The Great British Baking Show has a lot of improvement to do. Hopefully, they can make things right on the next episode, which will feature Custard Week. Panna cotta, anyone?
