“I’m only watching,” Destiny (Da’Vine Joy Randolph) says in the first few minutes of the most recent Idol episode. “Observing his moves.”
Jocelyn’s (Lily-Rose Depp) co-manager Destiny infiltrates the “cult” in the penultimate episode of The Idol, “Stars Belong to the World.” Yes, although it’s been reported that this is a six-episode season, and this most recent installment, this flaming hot mess, hardly feels like it’s leading to a finale. Now, as we near the finish line of this show, characters are still simply “observing” Tedros (The Weeknd)—nothing has actually happened that’s of note.
We get a little backstory on Tedros, though: His real name is Mauricio, and he’s been to prison twice. Chaim (Hank Azaria) and Destiny have done some digging to reveal the truth about Jocelyn’s new man. While Destiny wants to kill Tedros as soon as possible, Chaim wants more background. Is there a way to fight back and push Tedros out without getting blood on their hands? (Probably not.)
But this isn’t anything Joss hasn’t already heard. Joss knows Tedros went to prison. She’s OK with his shady past. In fact, it keeps her on her toes. Tedros doesn’t like talking about prison, and that intrigues Joss.
Destiny plays along, listening in while Jocelyn records one of her new singles. But when Destiny says she doesn’t like the lazy way Jocelyn sings the word “yeah,” all hell breaks loose. Suddenly, we’re in the middle of a porn shoot instead of a music recording: Tedros shoves his hands down Joss’ pants, into her bra, gagging her as she moans the word “yeeeeaaaaa” into the microphone. Now that’s what I call music.
The songs have veered out of poppy Britney Spears territory and more into the darkly sexual Lana Del Rey genre, where Jocelyn sings about her trauma and why pain turns her on. The music is smooth, mirroring the dimly lit, swanky mansion this episode takes place in almost completely. Hey, it almost sounds like The Weeknd! Makes sense, seeing as he created all the music for the show.
(Side note: We finally get a Mike Dean cameo in this episode after Tedros spent all of last episode teasing his appearance as Kanye’s old producer and Jocelyn’s new one. Let’s not forget—Dean is also The Weeknd’s producer.)
The music isn’t half bad, but it’s paired with the atrocity of Chloe’s (Suzanna Son) manic pixie dream girl character trying to convince Destiny she can sing. She can sing, but her lyrics…well, let’s just say she shouldn’t quit her day job as a cult member. She sings a tune about being a young crocodile. Destiny overhears a few others of the cult singing—like Izaak (Moses Sumney), who is screwing around with Joss’ personal assistant Leia (Rachel Sennott)—and decides to debrief with Chaim.
Azaria and Randolph are two of the only reasons this show is still watchable. I would really like to see Destiny take Tedros out with a gun. Perhaps if that were to happen, we could pursue the thoroughly interesting drama unfolding between Dyanne (Jennie Kim) and Joss. The brief moments between Nikki (Jane Adams) and Dyanne that we get in this show—give us the spinoff! Or, dear lord, give us Amy Seimetz’s original plan for this show.
Destiny does a good job of flying under the radar, because Tedros focuses all of his energy on Jocelyn’s creative director, Xander (Troye Sivan), instead. Tedros creeps up on Xander as he sings, beautifully, in the shower. When Xander jumps at the sight of Tedros—who lurks like he’s about to compete in a professional bowling game—Tedros has a good laugh before he teases: “Did you think I was going to buttfuck you?” The Idol is the best at having the absolute worst writing.
Tedros takes issue with Xander’s singing. No one should take precedence over Jocelyn. Well, Chloe, Izaak, and Dyanne can—but Xander is her kryptonite. Tedros uses Xander as a way to earn Jocelyn’s complete trust. He informs Joss that her dear mother forced Xander to sign a contract that he would never sing professionally, as a way to ensure that Jocelyn would always be above him. Infuriated, Joss makes Tedros tie Xander down and torture him with a shock collar.
Jocelyn finds out about Dyanne and Tedros and, in a brilliant diva move, decides to invite over her ex-boyfriend Rob (Karl Glusman) for a quickie. The scene is boring, though the idea of Jocelyn fetching an ex solely because she’s pissed with Dyanne is brilliant. While Joss canoodles with Rob, Tedros throws a party with plenty of drugs, full-frontal nudity, and shots—though he, himself, gags when he tries to down a bit of tequila.
Let’s take stock at where we’re at, heading into the finale. Chaim and Destiny are worried about their girl Joss. Leia is too, though she’s more likely to quit out of annoyance than she is to actually defend Joss at this point. Joss is so deeply enchanted by Tedros that she’s willing to torture some of her closest friends. Dyanne is an absolute legend. And Tedros is a complete loser. How did he manage to manipulate all of these people?
The Sam Levinson of it All
Sam Levinson, who has already drummed up quite a bit of controversy thanks to his past works like Euphoria and Malcolm & Marie, is the creative “visionary” behind The Idol. Here are the moments we thought really show the audience the man he is.
-Mike Dean is introduced to the show with an overblown take where he takes a hit out of a bong, as if he were a legend. In this show, for some reason, weed is treated to be more scandalous than, say, cocaine and molly. Mike Dean’s constant bong hitting is painted to be badass, legendary. Instead, he looks like a college sophomore.
-As Jocelyn works on a new single, she tells Tedros, “I like not having to make decisions for myself. Because I trust you.” What woman has ever said this? Tedros responds: “You should make that the opening line of the song.”
-While explaining why she joined Tedros’ cult, Chloe simply says, in a bubbly singing voice: “I was a heroin addict!”
-We need to cut every line about Jocelyn’s mom dying after Episode 1. “I think it’s no secret that I lost my mom fairly recently,” she says in an Instagram live stream. Quit it. Save your breath. She says some version of this line in every episode.
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