In one corner is a loud, brash New Yorker who owns her own PR firm and who some describe as a maneater (while others describe her male conquests as victims). In the other, is a nurse from Atlanta, who can casually date like the best of them. Or so we thought.
One of the major storylines of this season of Summer House is the love triangle between Lindsay Hubbard, Austen Kroll, and Ciara Miller. After Austen rejected Lindsay for Ciara in Vermont, which we saw in the first season of Winter House, it seems that he changed his mind and Ciara is not going to be victorious this time around (not that Austen is much of a prize).
The Lindsay vs. Ciara saga is great TV, one of the reasons Summer House ranks among the most popular reality shows airing right now. And their situation is one that is way too common.
It’s a complicated dating scenario in which neither party is 100 percent right or 100 percent wrong. (Except for Austen because he’s ugly, both in body and in spirit).
Lindsay Hubbard is a 35-year old veteran of dating. We’ve seen Lindsay through a lot over six seasons of Summer House. This year, she comes into the Hamptons house recovering from a heartbreaking miscarriage. Justifiably, her response is to go on a dating frenzy. Lindsay’s priority is herself, and part of that involves the revolving door of men she has in her life. It may not be everyone’s response to tragedy, but Lindsay, I see you.
Ciara is 26 years old, new to the city, and caught feelings for a guy that was telling her everything she wanted to hear when they were together in Vermont. She visited Austen later in Charleston, and then he visited her in New York. There is nothing that will make you catch feelings faster than the hot-and-cold of someone that isn’t that responsive when you aren’t together but makes you feel like the only person in the world when you are. It’s difficult to watch her make a fool out of herself over a man who clearly is not respecting her, but I can’t help but feel sorry for Ciara and her situation.
Lindsay and Ciara are housemates. They’re not besties. I wouldn’t even classify them as frenemies. What they are are two women brought together by a big-ass rental in Montauk, yet separated by 10 years of dating. And with that 10-year gap comes 10 years of heartbreak, manipulation, unmatched expectations, and disappointment.
One of the slyly most important and even profound things about Summer House, for all of the drunken and emotional fights, hookups, and high jinks of its cast, is how the show might be TV’s greatest and most fascinating portrait about how differently people, particularly women, of different age brackets navigate the world of dating—and how we react to that as a sometimes unempathetic and judgmental audience.
We’re usually pretty naive when we first begin dating. The more time goes on and the more people we date, the more we learn. In the beginning, we think of the people we date as rational actors. They’re good at their core, and they would never hurt us. When the person we’re interested in tells us something, we believe them—even if their actions don't match their words. But the older we get, the more we see that’s not necessarily true. And to top it off, we are informed by our own life experiences… otherwise known as baggage.
In a recent episode of Summer House, the entire house is concerned that Lindsay’s “Hot Hub Summer” is indicative of a larger problem. While she never mentions it, it’s clear that the show is alluding to Lindsay’s recent miscarriage.
When Amanda confronts Lindsay and says that she has never seen her act like this before, Lindsay matter-of-factly states, “People evolve.” She’s right. And at least she’s not Ciara, caught flat-footed and embarrassed by the Charleston Charmer. Isn’t it for the best to continue to change the way you date? Why keep making the same mistakes, when you can always make new ones?
We can all learn something from Lindsay. Even though her delivery can be intense, the one thing about Lindsay Hubbard is that she is going to let you know how she feels.
While her argument in the bathroom with Ahmed was slightly unhinged, she didn’t have any qualms with letting this man know that she felt disrespected and that she was not going to tolerate it. You think that comes naturally? It’s a skill that is honed through sheer experience in dating. This differs from twentysomething daters like Ciara, who let Austen come to her house and cause havoc. To her house? That is her rental, yet Austen had no qualms about coming and disrespecting her.
Not to mention, Lindsay is constantly battling accusations from her housemates that she is doing something wrong in being so intense about the many men that she’s dating. But as the Hub said in Monday night’s episode, “The guy who is for me won’t think I’m too much”. That’s a lesson for us all.
While the whole world is aghast at how two beautiful, relatively successful women could be fighting over Fozzie Bear, sorry, Austen, I am solemnly shaking my head in solidarity. You need to be a few heartbreaks in to achieve Lindsay Hubbard levels of “on to the next one” when it comes to guys like Austen. Ciara just needs time.
