2021 was a nightmare. Like a flaming bag of shit inside a dumpster fire—or sleep paralysis as Jay Leno does stand-up. One of the few bright spots in our COVID-infested hellscape was the movies, offering a precious respite from all the doom and gloom. There were so many good movies released this past year, in fact, that some of the best went overlooked. Although Omicron has thrown a wrench in our movie theater-going plans for now, let’s hope this wave will pass by soon, and when it does there will be an embarrassment of riches waiting in store at the cinema.
Here are the most anticipated movies of 2022.
Jan. 14: SCREAM
Directed by Matt Bettinelli-Olpin and Tyler Gillett, the team behind the comedy-horror flick Ready or Not, this fifth installment in the Scream franchise is penned by Zodiac scribe James Vanderbilt and is set 25 years after the murderous events that first rattled the town of Woodsboro in Wes Craven’s original Scream. Several of the original players are back, including Neve Campbell, Courteney Cox, and David Arquette, along with a hot young cast led by In the Heights’ Melissa Barrera. Let’s hope it retains the first two films’ humor and isn’t just another caliginous, self-serious Euphoria knockoff.
Feb. 4: JACKASS FOREVER
There’s something almost poetic about seeing Johnny Knoxville, Steve-O, and the gang in middle age, still sacrificing their bodies for our—and their—perverse enjoyment. Master of ceremonies Jeff Tremaine will be introducing a number of new guest stars in the fourth Jackass film, including Tyler, the Creator, Eric Andre, and Shaq, as well as the Jackass crew’s first-ever female member in stand-up comedian Rachel Wolfson, who is funny as hell (and a friend!).
Feb. 11: MARRY ME
Remember romcoms? Those mid-budget studio films—typically starring Julia Roberts, Sandra Bullock, or Meg Ryan—that lifted your spirits and made you believe that love wasn’t entirely dead? This film, about a global pop star (played by Jennifer Lopez) who, after discovering that her musical partner (Maluma) is cheating on her, decides to marry a humble stranger (Owen Wilson) during a concert stunt and then starts to develop feelings for him, feels like a throwback to romcoms of yore. And it’s about damn time.
March 4: THE BATMAN
I’m not entirely sure that we need a third movie Batman in the same decade—after Christian Bale and Ben Affleck—but hey, the latest “reimagining” of the Batman franchise features an exciting director at the helm in Matt Reeves (War for the Planet of the Apes), and a gifted cast, with Robert Pattinson inheriting the cape and cowl, Zoe Kravitz as Catwoman, Paul Dano as Riddler, and an unrecognizable Colin Farrell as Penguin. Will Joaquin Phoenix’s Joker join the party?
April 22: THE NORTHMAN
Every film by Robert Eggers (The Witch, The Lighthouse) is a must-see event, and this one, set in 10th-century Iceland and centered on a Viking prince (Alexander Skarsgard) who is forced to avenge the death of his father (Ethan Hawke), is no different. The period thriller also boasts the likes of Nicole Kidman, Anya Taylor-Joy, Willem Dafoe, and Bjork (!) as a creepy witch.
April 22: DISAPPOINTMENT BLVD.
Filmmaker Ari Aster (Hereditary, Midsommar) has described his latest as a “nightmare comedy” and hinted that it could be four hours long. Precious little else is known about the horror flick other than that, according to studio A24, it’s “an intimate, decades-spanning portrait of one of the most successful entrepreneurs of all time,” starring Joaquin Phoenix as said entrepreneur. He’s joined by Nathan Lane, Patti LuPone, Amy Ryan, Parker Posey, and (allegedly) Meryl Streep. Given that it’s an Aster film, you can safely expect at least one person to lose their head—literally.
May 6: DOCTOR STRANGE IN THE MULTIVERSE OF MADNESS
It is here I must confess that, with the recent exception of Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings, I’ve been experiencing serious Marvel fatigue. There are just too many spinoffs, reboots, and multiverses to keep track of. With that said, I am a huge fan of filmmaker Sam Raimi, and seeing him return to blockbuster filmmaking will get my butt in a seat. This sequel sees Benedict Cumberbatch’s Doctor Strange team up with Elizabeth Olsen’s Scarlet Witch to take on Karl Mordo, a former mentor (and fellow Master of the Mystic Arts) turned mortal enemy and played by Oscar nominee Chiwetel Ejiofor.
May 27: TOP GUN: MAVERICK
Is 36 years the longest period of time between a film and its sequel? Either way, here’s hoping that this supercharged sequel’s got plenty of homoeroticism, aviators, and tricky maneuvers—of body and plane. Tom Cruise returns as the “dangerous” fighter pilot “Maverick,” and he’s joined by (alleged public health menace) Miles Teller as the son of Goose, Jennifer Connelly as Cruise’s awkward new love interest, and Jon Hamm and Glen Powell as the requisite side-hunks.
July 8: THOR: LOVE AND THUNDER
Remember what I said about Marvel fatigue? Well, that does not apply to any movies directed by Taika Waititi, whose Thor: Ragnarok is not only one of the best films in the Marvel Cinematic Universe but one of the best superhero movies ever. The fourth Thor flick sees Chris Hemsworth’s bulging Norse god and Tessa Thompson’s sword-wielding Asgardian warrior lock biceps with Chris Pratt’s Guardians of the Galaxy gang to take on Gorr the God Butcher, a ferocious, god-hunting baddie played by the great Christian Bale.
July 22: NOPE
Precious little is known about Nope, the upcoming horror film written and directed by Jordan Peele. What we do know is that it may deal with extraterrestrials of some kind—pure speculation based on its poster of a cloud formation hovering over a remote town—and reunites Peele with his Get Out star Daniel Kaluuya, one of the finest actors of his generation (who should have won an Oscar for Get Out). He’s joined by the likes of Keke Palmer, Steven Yeun, and Euphoria’s Barbie Ferreira.
Sept. 30: MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE 7
Tom Cruise is a leading member of a dangerous brainwashing cult—one I’ve reported on extensively—and yet, against my better judgment, I can’t help but indulge in these globe-trotting spy-thrillers. The seventh go-around will see Cruise’s Ethan Hunt run, jump, and leap across Italy, Norway, and the Swiss Alps, and he’ll once again be joined by Luther (Ving Rhames), Benji (Simon Pegg), Ilsa (Rebecca Ferguson, fantastic), and Alanna (Vanessa Kirby), while Haley Atwell will play a mysterious new spy and Esai Morales will assume villain duties.
Oct. 7: TÁR
Actor turned filmmaker Todd Field (In the Bedroom) has been MIA since 2006’s Little Children, so it’s a great surprise—and glee—that 2022 will grace us with a new Field film, starring Cate Blanchett as Lydia Tár, the first-ever female conductor of a major German orchestra. She’ll be joined in the Berlin-set film by acclaimed German actress Nina Hoss, Mark Strong, and Noémie Merlant of Portrait of a Lady on Fire fame.
Oct. 7: SPIDER-MAN: INTO THE SPIDER-VERSE 2
So, earlier I said that Thor: Ragnarok is one of the greatest superhero movies of all time. Another film that deserves its place on that list is 2018’s Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse, a computer-animated epic that saw Miles Morales’ Spider-Man (voiced by Shameik Moore) recruit a number of other Spider-People from different dimensions—like Nicolas Cage’s Spider-Man Noir and John Mulaney’s Spider-Ham—to fire webs at Kingpin (Liev Schreiber). This sequel will focus on Spidey’s budding relationship with Gwen Stacy/Spider-Woman, voiced by Hailee Steinfeld, and features Insecure’s Issa Rae as a Spider-Woman from another universe.
Nov. 4: CANTERBURY GLASS
Instead of Adam McKay trying his best to mimic David O. Russell, we’ll get an actual Russell film in 2022. All we know thus far is that it’s a period film about a doctor and a lawyer who “form an unlikely partnership,” and that in addition to Russell at the helm, the absolutely stacked cast includes Christian Bale, Margot Robbie, John David Washington, Rami Malek, Zoe Saldana, Robert De Niro, Mike Myers, Michael Shannon, Chris Rock, Timothy Olyphant, Anya Taylor-Joy, and… Taylor Swift.
Nov. 11: BLACK PANTHER: WAKANDA FOREVER
Following the tragic loss of star Chadwick Boseman to cancer, Marvel decided not to re-cast the role of T’Challa/Black Panther and instead elevate Shuri, his on-screen protégée/science genius played by Letitia Wright. Unfortunately, Wright has caused headaches on the new film with her anti-vax nonsense, and an undisclosed injury of hers has sidelined production indefinitely, so who knows if the film will actually land in 2022 or be pushed to the following year. Either way, the superhero blockbuster brings back the great Ryan Coogler in the director’s chair, as well as cast members Lupita Nyong’o, Danai Gurira, Martin Freeman, Winston Duke, Angela Bassett, and I May Destroy You’s Michaela Coel in an undisclosed role.
Nov. 23: THE FABELMANS
For years, Seth Rogen has shared the hilarious story of his first encounter with Steven Spielberg. He was at a party smoking weed with a group of friends, and Spielberg—who apparently doesn’t like weed—suddenly appeared in their circle, shooting Rogen a look of parental disappointment. “I just kept smoking [the joint] in Steven Spielberg’s face as I saw, like, the look on his face where he’s just like, ‘I’m never working with this motherfucker... ever,’” Rogen recalled. Well, it turns out the two made up, because Rogen will play the fun uncle to young Sammy (Gabriel LaBelle) in this coming-of-age drama based on Spielberg’s childhood years in Arizona. Michelle Williams will play the boy’s mother and Paul Dano his father. Spielberg is once again teaming up with his Munich, Lincoln, and West Side Story collaborator Tony Kushner on the screenplay.
Dec. 16: AVATAR 2
A part of me wishes James Cameron, who gave us the sci-fi classics Aliens, Terminator, and Terminator 2: Judgment Day, would focus his considerable energy on new stories instead of deep-sea expeditions and four sequels to his 2009 eco-blockbuster, but hey, the self-described “king of the world” wants what he wants—and Sam Worthington needs work. So, the first sequel follows Jake (Worthington) and Neytiri (Zoe Saldana) as they raise a family and then, presumably, contend with more evil corporate goons intent on destroying the planet. Newcomers include Vin Diesel, Kate Winslet, Edie Falco, Michelle Yeoh, Jemaine Clement, and Game of Thrones’ Oona Chaplin, while Sigourney Weaver and Stephen Lang will return in different-ish roles, according to Cameron.
Dec. 25: BABYLON
Oscar-winning filmmaker Damien Chazelle’s first return to Los Angeles since 2016’s La La Land will this time be set in 1920s Hollywood, as the film industry transitions from silent films to talkies. The Hollywood Reporter said it’s rumored to be “The Great Gatsby on steroids” and boasts an all-star cast led by Brad Pitt, Margot Robbie, Olivia Wilde, Tobey Maguire, Jean Smart, and SNL’s Chloe Fineman.
THE BEST OF THE REST
There are a number of very intriguing films by several of our finest filmmakers that are set to be released in 2022 but have yet to be issued release dates. There’s Wes Anderson’s ensemble Europe-set romantic-drama ASTEROID CITY, starring Tom Hanks, Scarlett Johansson, Margot Robbie, Bill Murray, and Tilda Swinton; filmmaker George Miller’s fantasy follow-up to Mad Max: Fury Road, THREE THOUSAND YEARS OF LONGING, starring Idris Elba and Tilda Swinton, and about a djinn who grants a scholar three wishes for his freedom; David Fincher’s graphic novel adaptation THE KILLER, starring Michael Fassbender; Guillermo del Toro’s stop-motion animated musical PINOCCHIO, boasting the talents of Ewan McGregor, Tilda Swinton, Christoph Waltz, and Cate Blanchett; Martin Scorsese’s THE KILLERS OF THE FLOWER MOON, about the FBI’s investigation into members of the Osage tribe being mysteriously murdered in the 1920s, and starring Leonardo DiCaprio, Jesse Plemons, and Robert De Niro; James Gray’s ARMAGEDDON TIME, based on his upbringing in Queens, New York, and starring Anne Hathaway, Anthony Hopkins, and Jeremy Strong; David Cronenberg’s sci-fi horror film CRIMES OF THE FUTURE, which explores trans-humanism and features Kristen Stewart, Lea Seydoux, and Viggo Mortensen; Noah Baumbach’s adaptation of Don DeLillo’s WHITE NOISE, starring Adam Driver and Greta Gerwig; Claire Denis’ FIRE, centering Juliette Binoche as a woman caught in a love triangle between Vincent Lindon and Gregoire Colin; Sarah Polley’s WOMEN TALKING, about a group of Mennonite women (Frances McDormand, Jessie Buckley, Rooney Mara, and Claire Foy) in Bolivia who rebel against the sexually abusive men in their religious colony; and last but certainly not least, the Rian Johnson sequel KNIVES OUT 2, in which Daniel Craig will reprise his role as master detective Benoit Blanc and be joined by Edward Norton, Janelle Monae, Dave Bautista, Kathryn Hahn, Ethan Hawke, Kate Hudson, and Leslie Odom Jr.
