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There’s not a more haunting score in all of television, film—even theater, dare I say—than the Real Housewives of Orange County finale music. Stephen Sondheim would weep at its majesty.
Seasons change, and so does one of reality TV’s most influential franchises, which just delivered one of its most scintillating installments in recent memory. But we can always count on at least one thing: that comforting swan song at the end of every Orange County season. At the end of each RHOC finale, as the women offer empty platitudes of starting fresh and shed a season’s storyline, the sweet symphony crashes on the shores of California’s most neurotic city.
Each episode of the series opens with the haunted carnival music that wonderfully encapsulates RHOC’s suburban horrorshow-vibe. But as a season fades away, we’re greeted with the truly wondrous finale music that tells us another year in the OC has come and gone, friendships were challenged and marriages tested, but ultimately, these women are stronger than ever and ready to continue on this crazy journey.
It’s music that elevates RHOC, regardless of what outlandish shenanigans the cast got into in the previous episodes. It doesn’t matter if that title card says “Tamra has decided she doesn’t like cheese anymore. She’s committed to a dairy-free diet from now on… except for mozzarella.” This music masks whatever vapid, milquetoast display emits from the screen, when text pops up to catch us up on what the Housewives have been up to since filming wrapped, and welcomes us to a new realm. It’s avant garde. It’s bold. It’s the kind of score that should win an Emmy. And really, how are we supposed to take the Emmys seriously when the work of the Real Housewives hasn’t even scored a nomination?
The longest-running in Bravo’s Real Housewives franchise, Orange County has undergone a transformation far more dramatic than its peers in other cities. Over the 17 years, taglines changed from episode soundbites to scripted puns, casts grew in size, and the genre shifted from familial docuseries to a primetime soap-opera.
But even in its infancy, that haunting melody played in the season’s closing minutes. Back then, plots on the show were more down-to-earth. Kimberly Bryant was facing a health scare and gearing up to move to Chicago, never to be seen by Bravo cameras again. Jo De La Rosa was dealing with her messy relationship with Slade Smiley, blissfully unaware he’d become an honorary Housewife through his relationship with Gretchen Rossi and calling Vicki Gunvalson “Miss Piggy.”
No matter the season’s plot, though, those soft guitars and drums at the end of the finale are transcendent, serenading viewers with a song in line with the comfort of the perpetually warm, perpetually drama-filled Orange County.
This season of RHOC harkened to the past a decent amount, and it rarely felt unwarranted. With veteran castmate Tamra Judge back in the fray among a recently reintroduced Heather Dubrow, RHOC hit the reserves to remind viewers of its prowess. As World War OC commenced in the finale with Tamra and Heather’s feud reaching a boiling point, the battle didn’t just tie up a season of plots, but a decade of storytelling. The score provided a perfect bow to a feud that’s been brewing since at least Season 9, when Heather tried to have Tamra killed on a mechanical bull, while Tamra rallied the troops against an elitist Heather.
While the Real Housewives of New York City embraced a fresh start this year, RHOC’s reinvigorated outing proved you can never count out the OGs. As Heather and Tamra finally lobbied against each other after years of mutually assured destruction, the resident OC HBIC, Dubrow, ended the episode by offering Tamra the spot of OC “top dog.”
“I’ve had to figure out not only who really wants to be friends with me, but who I really want to be friends with,” an unshaken Heather said in her final confessional of the season. “Tamra and I have had our bumps in the road before, but never like this.”
“I don’t know what’s gonna happen between me and Heather,” an ever-theatrical Tamra recited in her closing moments. “I think she knows I’m not gonna buy her bullshit anymore, and the truth always comes out.”
Dressed like the evil clown she is (complimentary), Tamra’s reflection was followed with the end card update of: “Tamra has gotten closer with Jenn, Emily, and Shannon. While her ducks are in a row with her friends… She thinks Heather can go **** one.”
Meanwhile, Heather’s end card mentioned nothing of Tamra, but did share “the HD network finally has content, as does Heather’s 2020s IMDb page,” in a not-so-subtle dig at Tamra and friend-of Taylor Armstrong’s mocking earlier in the season. The only things appearing on Heather’s IMDb post-2017, though, are appearances as herself on talk shows, so perhaps the blondes won that round.
Rebounding from two dud seasons, Season 17’s mix of old (sorry Vicki, I know you don’t want to get old) and new made for a captivating year, as newbie Jenn Pedranti showed herself to be the most gullible, authentic newbie since “Jesus Jugs” Alexis Bellino. As the screen froze on Jenn and her polarizing boyfriend Ryan kissing with a big smile, her debut end card update proved the editing team is as cheesy as ever. Thank God.
“Jenn won a baccarat bet, and was able to pay her divorce attorney retainer. She is now taking on her biggest gamble… deciding whether to move in with Ryan.”
That was followed by veteran Shannon Beador’s update, announcing her split with boyfriend John Jannsen. “Or did they? Shannon denies all the rumors,” the end card teased, referencing allegations from co-star Emily Simpson that the two are back together. What Shannon’s end card didn’t mention is her DUI, a topic that won’t appear at the reunion either, as it was filmed beforehand. (Unless they “get Andy and a camera” and film a last-minute one-on-one update.)
In an unsurprising turn of events, Gina Kirschenheiter’s end update reflected her boring run on the show. Gina and her boyfriend Travis are now licensed real estate agents and “pre-approved to flirt on a daily basis.” Oh, and they got a dog. Chopped.
Meanwhile, Emily followed her breakout season with a reflection on her rollercoaster friendships with Heather and Shannon. While she and Shannon seem to remain on shaky ground, she “celebrated Heather’s birthday in Los Angeles… The salads were free of sand, and the water is now under the bridge.” (If you watched this season, these are iconic references.)
On their own, each of these is an easily dismissable, pointless platitude. But hearing Shannon say “I still don’t know that we can jump over the small hurdles that we have, and I think they’re small” about her doomed relationship with John, knowing all of what’s in store for her, it’s almost emotional. The melancholy score that plays while these updates flash on the screen perfectly captures a wistfulness that encapsulates RHOC. It’s always been the franchise of women struggling to make it against an avalanche of adversity, where familial and relationship drama runs at the core, while friendships crash as constantly as the Newport Beach waves.
I mean, it’s just soapy perfection. Yes, you can get great entertainment out of the endless tennis matches between Kim and Kourtney on The Kardashians, but no one does suburban melodrama quite like the Real Housewives of Orange County. The finale Halloween party may have been the series’ best since Tamra’s Season 10 baptism, where Vicki infamously said she was being “nailed to the cross like Jesus was, and he did nothing wrong.”
As the music faded out and another season ended, it felt so good to be a fan of RHOC. With the “top dogs” set to duel at a reunion a decade in the making, on a set magically capturing the beachy scenery of the city, it doesn’t seem this momentum’s ending anytime soon. We can only hope for 17 more seasons of wondrous drama capped with the ever-powerful score.
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