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Last week’s episode of Real Housewives of Orange County ended with Shannon pleading with producers not to capture whatever salacious news Tamra was about to spill about Shannon’s decidedly non-live-in boyfriend, John. Shannon, who confided in Heather about her relationship problems, seemingly already knows what it is and is mostly afraid of violating John’s privacy.
Ultimately, Tamra, who’s already outed herself as a terrible friend this season, keeps her mouth shut. But given that Heather told the entire cast and they’re all practically foaming at the mouth to discuss it, this bomb will go off one way or another. Hopefully, it’s something less predictable than cheating, and we find out John is a hired actor or something.
After Shannon calms down, the Tres Amigas down a few more shots and Vicki disappears for the rest of the episode, like the Tasmanian Devil spinning off into the horizon. This week is largely another showcase for Heather—and not just because she meets up with Mark Cuban to discuss some vague content-creating opportunity on his streaming platform, Fireside. She’s still annoying and perplexing her castmates, which is honestly her best use on this show. On the one hand, she suddenly has no opinion about John and Shannon’s relationship after telling the group that they were “in a bad place.” She’s also being sketchy about her sudden move to Los Angeles.
Out of nowhere, she and Terry decide to purchase an apartment in LA so Heather can be closer to Hollywood and pursue more acting gigs. (I honestly think this is a tactic to join The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills.) She also claims she’s tired of having to manage her cavernous—aka buzz in her housekeepers and point landscapers to her backyard. At an exercise class, she describes her and Terry’s new apartment to Tamra and Emily as a secondary residence, a place to “come and hang your hat” when they’re in LA. She also refers to it as a “pied-á-terre,” anything to avoid the broken-person connotation that comes with the term “apartment.”
In a prior scene, however, Terry tells Heather that their realtor just informed him that a client is interested in buying their palace, possibly for $65 million. Maybe wealthy people are just in constant communication with their realtors. But the timing of this offer with their move obviously begs more questions. Naturally, when a Housewife suddenly uproots her life, particularly after making a huge deal about their home-building process, enormous debt is lurking around the corner. It’s also fishy how unemotional Heather and Terry are intentionally trying to appear about moving, considering the years-long, Herculean construction of this mansion. I just assumed a place where you have an etched window dedicated to your frozen embryos would be a forever home.
In much less exciting news, Emily wants Shane to be a more supportive co-parent because he corrected her about something extremely inconsequential in front of their kids. I mostly just think Emily knows that her family life is more entertaining when Shane’s the bad guy, so she’s revisiting this storyline again. And honestly, she’s right!
Meanwhile, Gina and Travis are still trying to become a real-estate power couple. So far, only Travis has his license. Gina says she’s planning to get hers in the next two months, which feels totally emblematic of their lopsided dynamic. Noticeably, Travis has a genuine spark in his eye whenever they talk about doing business together, while Gina just smiles politely. Given her attachment to her previous marriage, it’s hard not to read this entire real-estate venture as some sort of Band-Aid.
The crux of this episode, however, is a long-awaited but underwhelming face-off between Tamra and Eddie, and Jenn and Ryan. Their dinner, hosted by Shannon and John, is primarily an opportunity for Tamra and Eddie to withdraw from their random (and failed) takedown of a guy they were perfectly fine with before cameras started rolling. Tamra meets up with Jenn beforehand, so she has one less person to grovel to. She delivers another insufficient apology with that shaky, high-pitched voice that implies that you’re crying—although, no tears come out. And Jenn just looks at Tamra with her signature “I’m not angry, I’m just disappointed” look she’s been giving her all season.
All three couples meet at John’s structurally perplexing house on the water. Shannon and John have slightly more chemistry in this scene in that they can at least bond over a feeling of awkwardness while Eddie and Ryan hash out their issues. But when John brings up the Tres Amigas lunch, Shannon nervously tells him that nothing notable happened while anxiously hiding her face in a drink.
When Jenn and Ryan show up, Tamra’s predictably a nervous wreck. If you’re a long-time O.C. viewer, you know that the usual firecracker can only handle conflict when she’s had a copious amount of Casamigos. That said, she lets Eddie do most of the talking when they have dinner on a boat. (A lot of nautical outings this season!)
Eddie brings up Ryan allegedly saying he wanted to sleep with Tamra when he first arrived at Cut Fitness, which, again, is not a real issue considering he seemingly never hit on her—unless, of course, Tamra has another bomb to drop further down the road. Ryan claims he never said it, which is probably false. Nevertheless, no one besides Eddie and Tamra really care.
Eddie then asks Ryan if he cheated on his wife, to which he answers, “definitely.” Eddie then asks if he’s ever cheated on Jenn, which is apparently more complicated but not really. Ryan says they went on a break for a month after he decided their relationship was “too much”—whatever that means—and that he slept with someone. But Jenn maintains in her confessional that he essentially cheated.
If they want a shot at making their relationship work—I give them one and a half seasons—they should probably get on the same page about that, at least! Ultimately, Eddie and Tamra promise to back off, although Tamra still has plenty of shade to throw at Ryan in her confessional.
Finally, we see the mid-season trailer where drunk Vicki pops up again and Heather apparently calls Emily Mr. Snuffleupagus. It seems like, with the help of Tamra, this franchise has finally rediscovered its kookiness, and I couldn’t be more thrilled for the rest of the season.
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