The moment we’ve all been waiting for—well, before the Scandoval blew up this entire season of Vanderpump Rules and left all prior storylines dead in its wake—has finally arrived. On this week’s episode, Tom Schwartz and Raquel Leviss finally have their sad, yucky makeout session. And it’s hard to tell whether these two are genuinely googly-eyed for one another or a part of a larger scheme.
Since news of the Scandoval broke, Bravo fans have been speculating whether Scwhartz and Leviss’ fling this season is some kind of ruse. Specifically, viewers want to know if Schwartz was used as a pawn by Tom Sandoval to distract from his own affair with Leviss. There’s also the possibility that he volunteered to be a scapegoat. Andy Cohen teased that he would get to the bottom of this while filming the Season 10 reunion two weeks ago. But tonight’s episode gives fans some opportunities to make their own guesses.
We start this episode, titled “Forbidden Fruit,”where we left off last week, after James Kennedy and Ariana Madix went at it over dinner because Kennedy body-checked one of Brock Davies’s drunk friends. This particular fight is boring and seems a bit overblown. But we do get a rather rich piece of advice from Sandoval to Kennedy that makes all their unnecessary shouting worth it: “Sometimes real power is having the power to do something and not doing it.” He’s right. You could also apply this to not sleeping with her partner’s close friend!
Anyway, this episode is really just a series of closeups of Katie Maloney looking miserable. For some reason, she and Schwartz go on a date while the rest of the group are at dinner. These two, especially Maloney, are obsessed with rehashing their relationship, as if viewers couldn’t already tell what was wrong. Maloney also keeps anticipating a new, improved version of her ex-spouse to appear just because she handed him divorce papers. But he’s still criticizing her at every moment and defending his lack of emotional support throughout their marriage. Despite Maloney’s efforts to “consciously uncouple,” it’s another initially chill discussion that ends in her walking out in tears.
To make matters worse, she gets a not-so-polite Raquel-gram from Scheana Shay as soon as she goes back to her hotel room. Leviss informs Maloney and Kristina Kelly that they’re not allowed to hangout in the “preferred” guest areas because they didn’t book a “preferred” room through the hotel. The rules of this resort, according to Shay, get more and more confusing every episode. And apparently, Shay was joking when she told Leviss to report this. Appropriately, Kelly and Maloney laugh this off.
Then the men and women separate for their bridesmaids/groomsmen activities. The ladies (minus Maloney and Kelly) have a relaxing boat day while the boys get drunk and behave obnoxiously by a pool. Of course, Lala Kent has to pull Ally Lewber to the side to talk about why she shouldn’t be in a relationship with Kennedy. Her counsel isn’t wrong, as Kennedy has been a historically terrible boyfriend. However, how many scenes are we going to get of Lewber being warned about this man, whose reputation is mainly that he’s a raging alcoholic? I think homegirl is aware!
Back with the guys, Sandoval is trying to be Schwartz’s wingman to no avail. His definition of flirting is telling a woman that she has “nice eyebrows.” There’s also a weird moment where the duo are ogling a pair of women’s butts in bikinis, and Schwartz tells Sandoval that one of them reminds him of Leviss. This is when Sandoval starts acting a little sus and pushes his friend to admit that he likes her, which he claims he does. Then we get this damning soundbite from Sandoval: “I get it.” Yikes!
Before the gang reunites for a big, all-white gathering, we check in on Lisa Vanderpump and Ken Todd, who are still fretting about the Schwartz & Sandy’s situation. This whole segment is basically like those scenes in teen movies where the parents are in bed wondering what their kids are up to while they’re getting wasted at a party. Vanderpump still wants to help the Toms get the restaurant open but doesn’t want to overstep her boundaries and piss off their partner Greg. It’s hard to tell if Todd cares or even knows what’s going on.
Finally, all the wedding guests arrive at a stunning patio for Shay and Davies’ “Welcome Party,” although it feels like we’ve been in Mexico for a week at this point. Everyone looks gorgeous in their ivories and creams, including Kent who got all dressed up just to hang out with Maloney and Kelly at a restaurant in the same vicinity. Their table, in front of an open window, also happens to be visible to all the party guests. Leviss mocks the three of them by doing a pretty spot-on Stalter and Waldorf impression in her confessional.
To be fair, Maloney hasn’t had any fun since she’s landed in Mexico. And she’s clearly only here so she doesn’t miss out on a check. Her night goes from boring to irritating when Kelly reveals that she went to Shay to apologize for the comments she’s made about her in the past. Maloney instantly looks like she wants to flee the restaurant but manages to suck it up.
Meanwhile, everyone at Shay and Davies’ party is having real fun, drinking, dancing, and banging on a random set of bongos. In one of the cringiest moments I’ve seen on television, Kennedy tries to get Lewber to do their “spinny thing” in front of the other guests. Lewber has no idea what he’s talking about, and Kennedy keeps trying to make her remember. It turns out this special ritual is just the two of them holding hands and spinning around, which does not warrant it being called a “thing.” At this point, Kennedy’s eyes are popping out of his head as he pretends not to be totally embarrassed.
At a table, Shay, Davies, Sandoval, and Madix are talking about how awkward Maloney is making this wedding trip. They bring over Scwhartz, and Sandoval immediately starts bashing Maloney to him and telling him not to bring her to any more Schwartz & Sandy’s tastings. He’s partially right. It’s deeply unnecessary to involve your ex-spouse in your business, especially when her input was part of the reason they broke up. However, Sandoval has always just hated Maloney. And his disdain of her is a little too intense for my comfort. Chill out!
Leviss also joins the conversation once she overhears Shay telling Schwartz he should make out with someone. Finally, we can get this plot point over with!
Leviss and Scwhartz eventually depart from the group and sit at a table not too far away from the party. Schwartz admits that he thinks Leviss is pretty. But it’s not clear how strong this crush actually is. It mostly seems driven out of boredom and wanting to piss off his ex-spouse. Leviss also seems easier to makeout with than the pool lady with the nice eyebrows.
Clearly, the producers were sick of watching these two skirt around their attraction to one another and forced them to have this very unnatural talk. Eventually, the two kiss. And we hear some hooting and hollering off-camera. Although, it doesn’t seem like the cast has noticed yet.
At the same time, Kent, Kelly, and Maloney get up from their sad dinner and head out to the patio. We assume they’ll walk outside in time to spot Leviss and Schwartz’s locking lips, unless this is just some editing magic. But we’re hit with another sort of unnecessary “To Be Continued…”
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