On the Apple TV+ series Trying, Rafe Spall and Esther Smith play one of TV’s most compassionate and loving couples. So when we connect over Zoom to discuss the show and Spall, a tall and charming London native, earnestly looks into the camera and exclaims, “Oh no! You’re freezing,” I’m genuinely touched.
“Oh yeah, thanks,” I reply, wrapping myself tighter in my cardigan. “My apartment is always cold, but I’m OK.”
They double over laughing. The actors are so endearingly parental on Trying that, having just watched episodes of the new season, which launched Wednesday, I assume they are concerned about my well-being and comfort.
“No…” Spall says, laughing so hard he starts stammering. “Not…not as in you look cold.” A notification pops up on my laptop warning of low wi-fi connection—it was my Zoom screen that was freezing. I turn beet-red and join their laughter. “You look absolutely freezing!” Spall teases. “For God’s sake put on a coat, man! Brrr!”
Slight embarrassment aside, the very warm, tickling interaction is actually a fitting start to the conversation with the stars. In the sweet and touching comedy series, Spall and Smith play Jason and Nikki, a couple desperate to be parents. After learning they’re unable to conceive, they begin an emotionally and logistically arduous adoption process, which ends with them legally adopting siblings Princess and Tyler.
Esther Smith and Rafe Spall
Apple TV+Season 4 begins by allowing Trying fans to breathe a sigh of relief. The series flashes forward six years, revealing that Jason, Nikki, Princess, and Tyler are a thriving, happy family unit.
Years of turmoil to get to this point means the inability to shake the anxiety that something might still go wrong and Princess and Tyler will be taken away. And parenting older children, of course, is wedded to new and stressful challenges. The frankness with which Trying explores the struggle—and joys—of creating a family in this way certainly sets the series apart from other family comedies. So, too, does the sweetness. The show doesn’t shy away from life’s hard realities, but there’s a palpable love that pulses through every storyline and interaction on the show.
In other words, if you watch Trying, you might not be surprised that one of my burning questions for the stars was: What is it about this show that makes me cry through every episode?
“Because your apartment is freezing,” Spall says, not skipping a beat. “You need to put the heating on!”
Read on for his actual answer, which is gorgeous and considerate about what a gift it is to have love to give. In fact, Spall and Smith are gorgeous and considerate—and giggly—throughout our interview, likely because they had reason to celebrate beyond the return of their TV series: About 18 months ago, the co-stars got together in real life, and Smith is currently pregnant with their child. It’s her first, and his fourth.
They spoke with me about fans’ minds being blown by this life-imitating-art twist, how the show crystallized to them what it means to be a parent, and a whole lot about love.
It was such a comfort for the new season to open with the flash-forward in time. After three seasons of seeing these characters struggle to start a family, it’s nice to know they made it. What did it mean to you for the family to be in the place where it is when the season starts?
Smith: Obviously, we’re six years ahead, which means they’ve had six years of being a family unit. We see where they are now, with essentially teenagers. Their daughter, Princess, is now 15 and Tyler’s 11. It creates such a scope for exploring what it means to parent older children, and seeing what that brings up for them as a couple—all of its challenges. Also, we got to work with these two new young actors, who were amazing.
Spall: Even though they are together, and it is a great relief to see that they do have the kids, Nikki’s always still got this fear that they’re gonna get taken away from them at any point, which is manifested later on in the season when Princess starts to explore the idea of trying to find her birth mother. And that’s very confronting for them both.
Esther Smith and Rafe Spall
Apple TV+There are people every day who are struggling with fertility or trying to start a family or going through the adoption process, but we don’t necessarily know because they have to bury those stressors and go on with their lives. What have you learned through doing this show about what those people are going through?
Spall: What I’ve learned is from the response that we get from the show. It affects a great many people, and it isn’t necessarily a subject which is spoken about in the public discourse. It seems to still be something of a taboo. Anything that you’re in, dramatically, you want to be representing people. The represented therefore feel seen and less alone.
Even though this is ostensibly a comedic show, it deals with real, proper issues that people are experiencing. And if you can deliver that medicine, as it were, with the sugar of comedy, it makes it, I think, a very pleasurable viewing experience. In terms of the adoption process, it’s incredibly involved and difficult. If at the end of it, you can withstand that level of intrusion into your life and still want to adopt and still want to be a parent, then I’m just extraordinarily admiring of people like that.
The family sitcom, where parents go through the aches and pains of raising their kids, is a pretty common genre here in America. But this branches out from that model by showing a family that isn’t necessarily conventional. What has it been like for you to portray that experience?
Smith: It’s lovely to explore a dynamic that perhaps doesn’t often get explored. Particularly with [creator Andy Walton’s] scripts, I’m so impressed by his ability to speak to the human condition in such a way that is funny, but also incredibly moving. It’s not the usual classic family kind of dynamic that we see on screen. It’s important to represent that, because family comes in so many different forms. How brilliant to show this kind of family to inform people about what that is like, because we don't talk about these issues that often. People do have to suppress things. And it’s nice to be able to give that kind of information to people.
It is really illuminating to me. I’m sure it is to a lot of people.
Smith: I had a message the other day from someone who’d been through the adoption process, and they were going through it, weirdly, at the same pace that the show was coming out. Their whole process seemed to follow that. And they mentioned how it felt really important to them, because it meant their family and friends could actually see and understand what it was that they were going through. It just shows you how important that representation is, and I’m really glad that we get to do it in this way, with this family.
Could you give me context as to what it is about the show that makes me cry during each episode?
Spall: Because your apartment is freezing. You need to put the heating on! [Laughs]
No, one of the great themes of this show is people showing love, even if they aren’t able to vocally articulate it. So through actions. And there’s no greater show of love than the act of trying, which is obviously the name of the show. Everybody tries to do the right thing. Everybody in this show has an enormous amount of love to give. And when you see people imparting love, it’s moving because it’s identifiable—because we’re all, as humans, both in need of it and in need of the ability to give it. That’s deeply important. Even though the show is a comedy, I think every episode has a healthy portion of what I’ve just described.
Jason and Nikki have my ideal version of a supportive relationship. What do you think it is these characters understand about what makes a solid partnership?
Smith: I think they’re both so relatable in their want to try to do the best for each other and for their family. They both have such heart. I feel like they’re just good, honest people who have their flaws. I think we can all relate to that. We can just all relate to people trying, I think, and they do just really try. Also their sense of humor with each other. I think they've got such a brilliant shared sense of humor.
Spall: And they’re super-sexy.
Smith: Also they’re super-sexy people. With great hairdos.
Esther Smith and Rafe Spall
Apple TV+The fact that you two met on this show about a couple trying to have a baby, and now you’re a couple having a baby yourself has blown fans’ minds. How have you dealt with everyone’s interest now in your personal life?
Smith: It’s honestly so lovely. Everyone’s been so warm about it. It’s really hard to articulate because obviously, it’s a very personal thing, being pregnant and sharing that together. I don’t know. It’s just that people have been really lovely about it, which just means a lot. It’s a big life change. It’s a big old life change.
Has being on this show changed your views on parenthood at all?
Spall: I’m lucky enough to be a parent of three children—soon to be four—already. So I spend a lot of my time thinking about parenting. And it’s obviously reiterated to me, the experience of making this show, how lucky I am to be a parent, and really how valuable that is to me.
But also, families come about in myriad ways. I’ve got kids and that is my family, but that’s not the same for everybody. Family can mean lots of different things. It just means people that accept you and love you and care about you. That’s really important too, because not everyone watching the show will be a parent and not everyone watching the show wants to be a parent, but I think what everyone can identify with is wanting love. That is universally identifiable.
