This is a preview of our pop culture newsletter The Daily Beast’s Obsessed, written by senior entertainment reporter Kevin Fallon. To receive the full newsletter in your inbox each week, sign up for it here.
This week:
- Steve Carell is acting his tush off.
- The reason I won’t watch the new Lord of the Rings show.
- There’s drama in the country music world!
- Serena Williams <3.
- Not this Winnie the Pooh…
My Sincerest Apologies to the Shire
I don’t think I’ll be watching The Lord of the Rings: The Rings of Power.
It’s not because I find the sheer amount of money spent to make it to be borderline crass. (Give $1 billion to the causes or people who deserve it, like charity, student-loan borrowers, or me.) It’s not out of a moral protest of Amazon. (Though, screw Amazon. Well, screw Amazon, and also please leave my recent Prime order at my door. We’re all conflicted/complicit/lazy at heart.) It’s not even because, as is Fallon Family Legend, I have never successfully made it through an attempt to watch one of the original Lord of the Rings movies without falling asleep.
It is because I have an extreme aversion to TV shows and movies with characters that have pointy ears.
I don’t know why this is, but I do know that it has only escalated over the years. It’s become an extreme aversion. Whenever there are characters with these sharp razor blades on their heads, I get so preoccupied with staring at them—attempting to reconcile if I am actually put off by them, or merely confused—that I can’t concentrate on anything else. I don’t like to think that I am nauseated by a body abnormality, because that would make me, I believe, a terrible person.
Even though I know it’s fantasy, I can’t get over it. Sorry to the elves!
It’s not just while seeing the promo materials for The Lord of the Rings: The Rings of Power that I noticed this. A recent attempt to catch up on the various Star Trek series on Paramount+ was traumatic. I can’t with the Vulcans. Good luck to James Cameron with Avatar 2 and all his future endeavors with the Na’vi. The elves in the Harry Potter cinematic universe fare no better than those in Middle Earth. (You: Dobby is adorable! Me: Ah! Help!) And don’t get me started on Yoda.
Then there are all those various devils, Draculas, goblins, and other movie monsters for whom these kinds of ears are meant to look creepy, to which I say: a rousing success!
While I was shocked to find that my Google search for “fear of pointy ears” auto-completed with “in movies,” it turns out this is not an actual thing—and now I’m even more terrified of Google’s mind inception. The search engine did point me to the Wikipedia page for aichmophobia, which is a fear of sharp things. As a person who used to routinely prick his thumb with the end of a safety pin when he was bored in school, it’s not that. And it’s certainly not aftiphobia, a fear of ears. I like most of y’all’s ears just fine.
It is an unsolvable mystery, I suppose. And now that it’s publicly out there, a solid excuse to get out of having to cover the new Lord of the Rings series for work.
Maren Morris Delivered the Greatest Insult of the Week
I don’t really follow country music, so that whole world is a mystery to me. But, as is required in the “Being Gay” bylaws, I do follow Maren Morris, who has transcended into our universe. That is how I discovered a surprisingly juicy celebrity story and learned such things as what a “Jason Aldean” is—and that his wife is allegedly transphobic.
Tipped off by a headline I came across that said Morris had called someone “Insurrection Barbie” (!!!!!), I read all about a controversy in which Aldean’s wife, Brittany, shared a post that was, again, apparently transphobic. It immediately sparked backlash against her, including from Morris and fellow country star Cassadee Pope. It’s rare for major stars to publicly come after each other like this, even for such righteous reasons. The drama of it all! OK, country music!
It all started when Brittany Aldean posted a video in which she said, “I’d really like to thank my parents for not changing my gender when I went through my tomboy phase. I love this girly life." Jason co-signed with the comment: “Lmao!! I’m glad they didn’t too, cause you and I wouldn’t have worked out."
Pope expressed her dismay in hearing “someone compare their ‘tomboy phase’ to someone wanting to transition.” Morris replied to that: “It’s so easy to, like, not be a scumbag human? Sell your clip-ins and zip it, Insurrection Barbie.”
“Insurrection Barbie” refers to Aldean’s controversial posts about Jan. 6, and, beyond that fact, is an absolutely glorious read. Aldean responded to both stars, and now, apparently, I am a country music fan, because I desperately need to follow how this unfolds.
Loving All the Serena Williams Love
As someone who recently had a back spasm while dancing at a Lady Gaga concert and had to leave the stadium early because I was in so much pain, I am forever in awe of the athleticism and power of Serena Williams. (Not that the admiration needed that context, but it really underlined the point.) Her victory lap at the U.S. Open has been profound to watch, as has seeing her really appear to take in the celebration—and own her talent.
Case in point was her charming reaction when asked if she “was surprised” by herself for pulling off her Round 2 win earlier this week. Her cute smirk. The giggle. The roar of the crowd that followed. Then the way she says, “I mean, I’m just Serena.” (Watch it here.) An absolute delight. Just a really fun moment in what’s been a really fun Serena Williams week.
Tubby Little Cubby All Haunting Your Nightmares
Winnie the Pooh is now in the public domain and a new horror movie is coming out based on the character. (Yes, really.) This is what Winnie the Pooh looks like on the poster. All the heffalumps and woozles in The Hundred Acre Wood found shaking.
What to watch this week:
The Good Fight: My beloved kooky miracle of a show is coming to an end. I am sad! (Thurs. on Paramount+)
Honk For Jesus. Save Your Soul.: Regina Hall never misses. (Now in theaters)
Queen Sugar: Reliably one of the best acted—and forever undersung—series on TV. (Tues. on OWN)
Chef’s Table: Pizza: Netflix apparently now makes content explicitly for Kevin. (Wed. on Netflix)
What to skip this week:
Who Really Killed Michael Jackson: I can’t imagine a scenario where this is not in poor taste. (Tues. on Fox)
