Since Winnie-the-Pooh entered the public domain earlier this year, nasty people have been waiting to do our favorite bear dirty. Enter the horror film Winnie the Pooh: Blood and Honey, which capitalizes on A. A. Milne’s classic storybook characters now being up for grabs ASAP—and completely blasphemes our cherished childhood memories.
Earlier this summer, we got a quick look at the movie: human-sized Pooh and Piglet wielding weapons thirsting for flesh. But Blood and Honey’s first trailer goes even more disturbingly hardcore. Consider this your first and last warning before feasting your eyes on the waking nightmare below.
The premise: Christopher Robin takes his fiancée to 100-Acre Wood, the home of his beloved childhood friends. But they’re nowhere to be found; instead, he runs into a makeshift grave for Eeyore, skulls, and gnarly overgrowth. It turns out Pooh and Piglet aren’t so happy about their best pal abandoning them, and they’ve been waiting to get revenge.
Instead of solely focusing on Pooh and Piglet tearing Christopher Robin limb from limb, though, Blood and Honey takes a more traditional slasher film route. Some college-aged girls are staying at a house that, presumably, used to belong to Christopher Robin’s family—or at least lies close to 100-Acre Wood. The devilish Pooh quickly comes after the vacationers, leaving them threatening messages written in blood, tying them up in chains, and chasing them through the forest.
Will the girls make it out alive? What about Christopher Robin? I’m gonna guess no, but I’m happy for Blood and Honey to prove me wrong.
In short: This is definitely the weirdest, grossest fanfiction I’ve ever seen committed to screen. The full film is “coming soon,” reportedly later this year. I urge it to take its sweet, honey-flavored time, for the sake of my childhood.
