It happened a year ago. My alter ego that I call “Bendra” got a little naughty on Instagram as a result of too many White Claws and joked that I wouldn’t get in trouble because the CEO of The Gram was my lover. I don’t know what made Instagram angrier: deep-throating a dildo on White Claw or making that silly, obviously false comment, but I got wiped out. Two million followers and all that work it took to get them down the drain, and just like that I had to start over. And over. And over. And over.
IG is one of the biggest platforms and it is us sex workers who put this platform on the map because sex sells—and now that we have, they choose to censor us. I am now on my fourth Instagram account, @therealkslibrarygirl. I am no longer verified and I am shadow-banned, while dozens of fake Kendra Sunderland accounts pop up every day pretending to be me, not only ruining how I make a living but ripping off my fans monetarily and emotionally.
Example: I had a fan come to one of my feature dance performances. Upon meeting me at my meet-and-greet, he started going on and on about our supposed relationship, how close we have become, and how glad he was that I was feeling better. Apparently, this poor guy was corresponding with a person pretending to be me on an intimate level, sent this fake a lot of money, and even had a wellness check done when the fake Kendra disappeared. This hurts my heart so much. I think it’s part of the reason why I’m not doing any kind of tours at the moment.
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I’ve been shadow-banned a lot. Users will type in my username in search and it doesn’t come up right away because there are so many imposters. It’s actually an easy fix: You could just have to verify who you are, but Instagram doesn’t care to make that fix. It would deter people from making fake accounts, but they would also lose views. So, they don’t do anything about the crazy amount of fraud going on. I understand that I made a mistake, but I haven’t bilked countless lonely men out of thousand and thousands of dollars.
Another time I got deleted for reposting a Playboy post while their post remained up. They bring in views for IG and they are powerful. It sucks it’s not our platform but their platform. It sucks to have your account deleted and see other people get away with it. But you have to protect yourself. You have to deal with whatever Instagram puts you through.
Playboy gets away with the most. Everyone knows they’re somehow allowed to post photos of women wearing see-through clothes over a naked body or a little blurring of private parts and not be censored. I’m not bashing Playboy. I love them. But I won’t repost their images anytime soon because a porn star can’t get away with what they do.
Once I was deleted for what they called “harassment” with no explanation (I still have no idea what that was about). The next time I was taken down for promoting scenes that had “implied nudity”—no more than you would see on any Kardashian, Cardi B, or Madonna account. Recently, Nicki Minaj posted a photo to Instagram of her entirely nude—save a hand covering her nipple—straddling a giant teddy bear. It’s still up. On top of the hypocrisy, you can’t plead your case either. There is nobody you can talk to. No troubleshooter for any issue. So, you just have to accept it and keep making new accounts and backup accounts.
It isn’t fair. Instagram is how adult stars and sex workers make a living and branding. Jobs turn you down if they feel your numbers are low, and hackers out there know this all too well. There is a whole business of hacking the accounts of sex workers, then turning around and offering them back for five to ten grand. It’s extortion and it’s illegal—and it’s sad that so many women who are desperate to get their accounts back will pay up.
But I love Instagram. I love to be creative with my photos, videos, and IG lives. I don’t bully people, hurt anyone or fool followers for money, and it’s not my job to police your children from looking at images you don’t find appropriate.
Please Instagram, don’t delete me again when this essay comes out!
