Prince Harry said he has “lost a lot” in the process of escaping his family, but that it was worth it to “break the cycle” and not pass on the trauma of his own upbringing to his children.
He also said that therapy had made him “more distant” from his family and suggested he had tried, and failed, to encourage them to get therapy.
In an interview with trauma expert Dr. Gabor Maté, Harry also implied that he was, politically, against the invasion of Afghanistan, despite having said in his book that he regarded it as vengeance for 9/11 and saying that he had killed 25 Afghans in the course of the combat.
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Harry was asked by Maté what he felt the impact of the lack of touch he experienced as a child, as described in his book, was on him.
Harry said: “It leaves me in the position of a father having two children trying to smother them with love. I feel a huge responsibility not to pass on any trauma or negative experiences that I’ve had as a kid or as a man growing up.”
Harry said that his book was designed as “an act of service” and said it may help save someone’s life by giving them “permission” to deal with their “stuff” by sharing his experiences through his book.
Maté asked Harry if he had achieved his goal to “break free and live,” Harry responded that he had, adding that he felt “a great weight off my shoulders” after leaving the Royal Family, but added, “I’ve lost a lot, but at the same time I’ve gained a lot.”
Asked about his experience of therapy, Harry said: “A lot of families are complicated, a lot of families are dysfunctional. But for me when I was doing therapy regularly, I felt that I learned a new language.”
He said that because his family did not speak that language, he found himself “feeling more and more distant from my loved ones and my family.”
Harry suggested that he may not have agreed with the invasion of Afghanistan, after Mate voiced his opposition to the war in Afghanistan.
Harry said: “Once you sign up, you do what you’re told to do. A lot of us didn’t agree... but you do what you're trained to do.”
Harry said that taking the psychedelic drug ayahuasca had helped “clean the windshield” and admitted he used the drug “recreationally” before realizing “how good it was for me.”
He said: “It was the cleaning of the windshield, removal of life’s filters. It removed it all for me and brought me a sense of relaxation, release, comfort, a lightness that I managed to hold onto for a period of time.
“For me I started doing it recreationally and then started to realize how good it was for me. I would say it is one of the fundamental parts of my life that changed me and helped me deal with the traumas and the pains of the past.”
Asked about his relationship with Meghan, Harry said: “People have said my wife saved me. I was stuck in this world. She was from a different world and helped draw me out of that.”
Harry said he had a “crash course” in understanding racism as a result of marrying Meghan. He said it was “shocking”, that he had been “naïve” and that racism caused “immense” pain to society.
Apparently referencing his own behavior, which included dressing up in Nazi uniform as a young man, he said: “I had to take accountability for it. I had to grow from it and learn from it.”
Harry blamed William and Kate for encouraging him to wear the uniform to a costume party in his book.
Editor’s Note: this article formerly identified Dr. Gabor Maté as a psychologist. He is in fact a trauma expert and MD.
