In the twisted world of The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City, everyone’s a hero and everyone’s a villain. It’s multi-faceted and daring in a way modern reality TV rarely strives to be. There’s no better proof of its magnificence than tonight’s episode, a foray into the B-feuds of the season. On a lesser franchise, we’re lucky to get a tentpole feud, yet alone a series of mini-fights sprinkled through the season to add flavor.
As we approach mid-season, the leading ladies take a backseat (genuinely, has Meredith gone missing?) while Bronwyn vs. Heather, Angie vs. Heather, and the ever-surprising husband spat, Justin vs. John take the reins.
RHOSLC has finally reached that riveting point where the OG’s have grown territorial while a rich history forms around them, informing each plotline with years of subtext. That’s expertly displayed by the rise and fall of Heather Gay, whose transformation into the lead henchman of Lisa Barlow Enterprises has proved fascinating.
After facing judgment day at the altar of Mary Cosby, Heather now faces something even more sinister; the Greek mafia. Angie is fed up with Heather’s lopsided loyalty to Lisa, and she’s tired of playing second string to the Mormon mean girls. So, she hits up Britani’s Mormon family night fireside chat to bedazzle the event with some Greek Orthodox gospels.
Britani’s effervescent energy is no match for the power of this Greek goddess, who railroads the hostess to come straight for Heather. Having heard from Bronwyn that Heather stirred up Angie’s words about Lisa’s son Henry [deep inhale], Angie doesn’t understand why Heather’s constantly cutting her down in favor of Lisa.
As Lisa once said, Whitney and Heather “Bad Weather” like to spin the truth like a tornado, leaving wreckage in its place. Now that Lisa’s found an ally in Heather, she has simply weaponized that weather mission to wreak havoc on everyone else. Angie sees through this better than anyone, having known Heather since high school.
It’s extremely rare, and always cool, when the Real Housewives franchise casts people with such a genuine history, so for Angie to hit Heather where it hurts—calling back to her days longing to be a popular girl—adds weight to Heather’s newfound idolization of Lisa. I wish we had the technology to flashback to their high school days so we could see Angie and her perm in all its glory.
But we don’t have to go that far back to understand the friction, as Angie brings up the ghost of Heather Gay’s past: Jen Shah. It seems like many lives ago at this point, but just two years ago, Heather was backing Jen incessantly while throwing Angie, Lisa, and whoever else under the bus to serve her civic duty.
It’s Heather’s Achilles heel, the move all her enemies foam at the mouth to use against her.
“I think I have a very cloudy past with being blindly loyal to my church, to my friends,” Heather admits in a confessional. “But this is not what’s happening right now.”
Whether you believe Heather or find her revolting depends on how sympathetic you are to the recovering Mormon in her, I’d argue. She’s still re-learning life outside the throes of religion. It seems like she’s gotten so good at the game of pot stirring that she forgot to consider the actual impact on her own friendship she could have by stoking the flames of Lisa vs. Angie. Even the best arsonist gets burned, once and a while.
That’s also why Britani is such a great casting. She provides a wonderful purview into Heather’s past, as her Mormon-minded tunnel vision continues to amaze me. The average person left Angie’s anniversary party shocked by the major Lisa vs. Whitney feud that spurred a brawl between the husbands. For Britani, though, it was a Hallmark original movie, and all she can wonder is: Who should I choose, Prince Alarming or… wait, who’s the other guy again?
She’s so deeply in love with Jared Osmond, and Heather’s at a point of complete frustration with Britani, questioning if she’ll ever snap out of her love bubble and live a day in reality. The conversation is surprisingly raw, as Britani’s clearly coming from a place of intense desperation.
I’ll say it every week: It is such a shame that Britani got her snowflake snatched. She deserves full-time status—even if she’s destined to be a one-season wonder. She’s the show’s first true exploration into how a modern Mormon navigates the world, unless we count Angie Harrington. And I don’t.
Meanwhile, Justin and John sit down for lunch following their fallout. Neither husband has ever been much for the cameras, but Justin’s in a new (unemployed) era, inviting Mr. Osmond to parties and pouring Lisa’s tequila down the drain.
A minute of footage is spent watching John parallel park before he exits the car to a synthy little beat, a truly inspired moment. John Barlow has what few others possess: an anti-charisma so strong it wraps right around to being intensely powerful. And him saying they should consider ordering the smashed potatoes while Justin sits silently, only to say “we definitely need to do the smashed potatoes” as soon as the waiter walks up is king behavior. They looked so good! Sorry to Jessel Taank’s husband, but John’s the real food influencer of Bravo.
At lunch, the men do their best to emulate a classic 1-on-1 sit down, although both stew in fear as their alpha wives sit at home. No one even leaves before the check is ordered, which is just sacrilegious. Thank the stars, next week Lisa launches vulgarities in Whitney and Justin’s direction, hoping to further instigate tensions. It seems that Mary forcing the ladies to hold hands in prayer was not strong enough to dampen Lisa’s rage.
Finally, we close out on a real sit down, as Heather enters Bronwyn’s turf to remind her of her place on the pecking order. It immediately calls back to Sonja Morgan visiting Cindy Barshop in Season 4 of The Real Housewives of New York City. Just as Lady Morgan played second fiddle to Ramona Singer’s hellacious behavior, scolding Cindy for trying to exist on the same level, Heather is entirely annoyed with Bronwyn’s bravado.
Having challenged Heather at every turn, Bronwyn’s very unintimidated by Mother Gay. And—unlike Monica Garcia—Bronwyn is fighting from an even-playing field, understanding exactly how to push Heather’s buttons. These two hate each other in large part because they’re subtly similar, something Bronwyn even notes in a confessional.
Both are masterful wordsmiths who know how to feign accountability without accepting culpability. Sure, Bronwyn says she “can apologize” for things that “come across messy,” but that’s not exactly a sorry. It’s more about poking at Heather as an intimidation tactic, looking to call a spade a spade, all the while dangling the carrot of Bronwyn’s upcoming Palm Springs trip in her face.
Bronwyn is putting words in Heather’s mouth, and Heather’s putting words in hers, just the same. They can’t ever be friends because they’re both decidedly disingenuous, looking to climb the social ladder and become Bravo fan favorites. The only difference is Heather had a head-start and seems resentful that anyone else could utilize the playbook she so successfully followed.
Season 1 Heather would never have trashed someone’s house so freely while openly boiling in contempt. Back then, it was all about being Ms. Relatable to viewers, a role Bronwyn has now stepped into. It’s clear that Heather has lost her high ground in this feud, stumbling at all ends because she so desperately wants to prove Bronwyn’s inauthenticity, instead of waiting for her to reveal herself. Heather should know better than anyone that any long-standing Housewife has to swim through murky waters to find longevity.
This is a conversation that will bear interest for years to come, whether Heather flames out or Bronwyn evolves into a monstrous villain. The ghost of Jen Shah truly looms large in Salt Lake City, haunting Heather as she runs rapidly to soil the rest of her castmates to distract from that massive stain. She wants to write a success story of the rise, fall, and rise again of Heather Gay, and she has no time for anyone looking to get in the way of that success story.
Unfortunately for Heather, the B-team are ready to force on Heather the reckoning Jen could never receive now that they smell blood in the water. If only Meredith would return from her weeks-long slumber, perhaps Heather would stand a chance against the ever-growing threat. It’s a new era of The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City, whether Heather likes it or not.
