Ryan Gosling has been hiding under a rock for the past four years, seemingly living on the moon since his appearance in First Man way back in 2018. Months and months without Mr. Gorgeous himself has resulted in a real drought of horniness online. What are we supposed to do? Divert our attention to Glen Powell? (Not the worst option.)
Well, folks, that drought is over. It’s Ryan Gosling's monsoon season. And yes, our basements are flooded. (Too much?)
Sure, he’s starring in The Gray Man for Netflix (nothing says “sexless” like The Russo Brothers, so that doesn’t count). But today, a tidal wave has hit our thirsty nation. Yes, we’re talking about *that* Barbie photo.
Historians will look back on this day—June 15, 2022, mark your calendars, a national holiday—as the day cinema evolved into something new. Something beautiful. Something hunky, chiseled, and perfect entered the realm of Hollywood on this day, blowing the brain of every nerdy Letterboxd cinephile on planet earth.
We will not allow a single negative word about Ryan Gosling as Ken, nor to all the haters and losers who feel the need to criticize Greta Gerwig’s Barbie before it even lands in theaters. Gosling is so hot he could be the next statue of David, and Barbie star Simu Liu says the script is one of the best he’s ever read. Camp masterpiece incoming. Case closed.
Let’s get into the nitty gritty of the photo, now. Not only is Gosling offering up a full eight-pack of perfectly tanned abs, but right below, he’s sporting Calvin Klein-styled “Ken” underwear. Where can I get a pack? His face and pecs are oiled to the point where, yes, Gosling looks like a pristine plastic doll. And the pink lips match the dream house, too.
As always, the best part of this new photo dropping has been the social media reaction to the news. Some have offered up jokes, others have simply joined in a chorus of celebrating the return of the world’s most handsome man. Either way you spin it—keep the Ryan Gosling tweets coming.
Folks also cheered on Gosling for returning to his bleach blond status, throwing things back to The Place Beyond the Pines. Though his bright tufts of hair connect the two films, I doubt anything else will.
Just take a look at the replies to Warner Bros. original tweet—maybe not at work, with a flurry of NSFW responses—and see for yourself. Ryan Gosling’s Ken is, and forever will be, a game changer.
Sadly, the worst news of all is that Barbie won’t be premiering until next summer. You’ll be able to take a tour through the dreamhouse when Margot Robbie swishes her bright blonde hair into theaters on July 21, 2023.
