Comedy

Samantha Bee: Only One Way to Stop Trump From Stealing the Election

TIME TO PANIC

“This is what budding authoritarianism looks like,” the “Full Frontal” host said in her final show before Election Day. “But we can stop him.”

Samantha Bee is officially out of the woods and back in her studio. “And that’s the only thing that doesn’t suck right now, because this sure sucks,” the Full Frontal host said, referring to the always inevitable confirmation of Supreme Court Justice Amy Coney Barrett.

“And so does this,” Bee added, cutting to a news clip about the big question of whether Donald Trump will accept the results of next week’s presidential election. “Oh come on, the media, of course he won’t. You know how we know that? Because he fucking said so, a lot!”

“Trump has cried foul every time he’s lost anything,” she continued. “The popular vote, the Iowa Caucus, the Emmys, his erection on his wedding night. If Trump loses, he will call it fraud and try to steal the election amid the chaos. We can stop him with a decisive Biden victory. But if Trump wins, legitimately or not, this could be our last free election.”

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But since “no leader can go full authoritarian without accomplices,” Bee turned her attention to his “toadies like Grumpy Cat tribute artist William Barr,” who has “politicized the Justice Department in appalling ways” already and is poised to use his power to “crush political dissent” should Trump try to steal the election from Biden.

“Man, it’s amazing how much evil a man who is wearing a 12-year-old’s glasses can spew,” Bee said. “There’s nothing more American than complaining about America. But Trump has always favored persecuting his opponents, from demanding Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton be jailed to declaring war on properly fitted suits.”

“We always knew the risks of electing someone like Trump, but we were told not to panic,” the host told viewers later. “America’s institutions will protect us, the courts will keep him in check, the Republican congress will stop him from going too far, but Trump has beat the snot out of our institutions.”

But now that a full third of the Supreme Court is composed of Trump-appointed justices and the Republican congress has shown no willingness to check his power, Bee indicated that the time to panic is now.

“This is what budding authoritarianism looks like,” she said. “Trump is trying to break our elections because he’s terrified of losing. He’s trying to take away your vote so he can have another four years to fill the courts with radical judges and limit your rights so it will be even harder to have your voice heard.”

“But we can stop him,” Bee continued. “We won the House in 2018 by the largest margin ever and we come back even stronger this year because there is power in voting,” urging her audience to “save democracy” with #PinV. “Just work that P in V until we get what America needs to remain free: Unity, Trust and Integrity.” Or for short, #UTI.

For more, listen to Samantha Bee on The Last Laugh podcast.