“As we have established for a long time now, one of the things Donald Trump did to the modern GOP is he weirdified it. He unleashed his army of mafia-bobblehead goons and freaks, and now the Republican Party is an institution just filled with weirdos obsessed with things like cocaine-fueled orgies, Disney erotica, and testicle-tanning,” said Seth Meyers on Monday night.
“An example of one of those weirdos is his former personal attorney—and neckless wonder—Rudy Giuliani,” the Late Night host continued. “Now we have shown you clips over the years of Rudy Giuliani saying and doing many bizarre things, but I have to say, this latest might be the weirdest yet.”
Giuliani, who once married his second cousin, is on Cameo—a service where people can pay him hundreds of dollars to create personalized video messages for them. And to advertise his Cameo gig, he cut a bizarre ad and posted it online.
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In it, Giuliani is seen on a golf course limply swinging a golf club back and forth while saying, “I’m Rudy Giuliani. If you want to have a really nice conversation, or a birthday greeting, or just talk golf, go to the link BELOW!”
“This is the weirdest metronome I’ve ever seen,” cracked Meyers. “It doesn’t even look like an actual human body. It looks like one of Jeff Dunham’s puppets. It’s like a wind-up toy you’d get in a giveaway bag at a mobster’s funeral. Is this from his new movie Weekend at Rudy’s? Why is he constantly swinging the club back and forth like a wet pool noodle the entire time? Is he trying to hypnotize us?!”
And then: “He looks like one of those drinking birds, but instead of water all it drank was Scotch.”
I’ve got to correct Meyers here—this is far from the most bizarre thing we’ve seen Rudy Giuliani do. He recently sang “Bad to the Bone” on The Masked Singer; held a laughably absurd press conference outside Four Seasons Total Landscaping, a landscaping company he’d reportedly mistaken for the Four Seasons hotel; leaked black goo from his head; loudly farted twice in court during a trumped-up election-fraud hearing in Michigan; and was caught on camera by Sacha Baron Cohen’s Borat adjusting his junk whilst trying to seduce a conservative “reporter,” played by Maria Bakalova, in Borat Subsequent Moviefilm.
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