If being President of the United States requires any math skills, Nikki Haley may want to rethink her candidacy. Though Donald Trump wiped the floor with both Haley and Ron DeSantis in the Iowa caucuses on Monday, the former South Carolina governor seemed to think that coming in a distant third is a sure sign that she’s got the former president shaking in his boots. And on Wednesday, Seth Meyers wasted no time in calling her out for this.
“Nikki Haley, who came in third place—behind DeSantis—implied that somehow the results had narrowed the race down to two candidates,” Meyers explained. “Which I guess she thinks includes her.”
Meyers’ mockery was in response to Haley’s practically giddy response to the results of the caucus, which she proclaimed “made this primary a two-person race,” understandably befuddling the Late Night host.
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“A two-person race? You finished third,” Meyers helpfully explained on Wednesday. “Who aren’t you counting?”
“I don’t know how to tell you this, but you just got your ticket punched back into Iowa,” Meyers continued. “You’re going to get on a plane in Des Moines and land in Cedar Rapids. It’s like Russian Doll, but Iowa.”
While Meyers allowed that it could be a two-person race, if either Haley or DeSantis opted to drop out. “But the GOP is rejecting that option and instead telling them both to drop out,” Meyers shared, while attempting to stifle a laugh.
Among the very public figures who have publicly declared that Haley and DeSantis should just walk away now so that Trump can claim what seems to be his inevitable place at the head of the table? Incessant Trump fan Vivek Ramaswamy, who until 48 hours ago was also angling for the POTUS gig; Fox News anchor Laura Ingraham; and Texas senator (and “Texan Most Likely to Bolt for Cancun in a Weather Crisis,” according to Meyers) Ted Cruz.
Cruz seems especially excited for Trump’s third run at the Oval Office, which Meyers suspects might come down to jealousy.
“[Haley and DeSantis] ran against Trump and got off relatively easy,” Meyers said. “Trump called DeSantis a ‘Meatball’ and floated some birther nonsense about Haley, but that’s it. Back in 2016, Trump called Cruz a liar and a cheater, sicced his supporters on Cruz, insulted his wife’s appearance, and claimed his dad killed JFK.” Which really does make “Ron DeSanctimonious” seem kind of quaint.
