Of all the former Trump White House officials whom Seth Meyers “would have been happy to never see or hear from again,” Kellyanne Conway sits at the top of the list.
“Probably the person I miss the least is Kellyanne Conway, whose shamelessness really knew no bounds,” the Late Night host explained Wednesday night. “She was somehow the Trump administration’s most prolific and also worst liar.” Meyers added that Conway “lied the way your kids lie,” going way too far to the point where no one could plausibly believe her nonsense.
The quote that “should follow her for the rest of her career,” he continued, is the time in March 2020 when she “insisted in the most condescending way possible” that the COVID-19 virus was “being contained.”
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“She also sounds like she’s trying to argue that her coupon is still valid at Talbots,” Meyers joked. “But credit where credit is due, it was contained. The coronavirus went away and everything went back to normal. I kept doing the show in a suit and tie in front of a live studio audience without interruption and I stopped having that weird, recurring nightmare that I was trapped in a room with a sea captain painting who loved corny jokes and sounded suspiciously like Will Forte.”
So it was all the more enraging to Meyers when “despite, or more likely because of, the fact that she lied about everything, Kellyanne Conway was invited back on Fox News this week to lie yet again.”
From there, he played a clip of Conway telling Sean Hannity on Monday that “there was no supply-chain crisis” under former President Trump. As a counterpoint, Meyers recalled the time when she was claiming the virus was “contained” was when a roll of toilet paper “had a street value just about cocaine.”
“I mean, I know the last 20 months have been kind of a haze, but did they really expect us all to forget the long lines of food and empty store shelves and desperate search for Lysol and Purell?” he asked. “Do they think we’ve forgotten the days of watching Tiger King and trying to make our own hand sanitizer out of vodka and grape jelly?”
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