President Donald Trump is 5,000 miles away in Argentina for the G20 Summit and Alec Baldwin is back on Saturday Night Live. A month after his arrest for allegedly assaulting a stranger over a parking space, Baldwin made his first SNL appearance as Trump since early October.
The scene opened on the balcony of the Park Hyatt hotel where Baldwin’s Trump was suffering from insomnia. “Melania, I’m having trouble sleeping,” he said. “I keep having this nightmare where I’m walking in a forest of blood.”
“No, no, that was just my Christmas decorations,” Cecily Strong’s first lady replied.
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In reality, Trump was preoccupied by the Robert Mueller investigation, asking his lawyer Rudy Giuliani (Kate McKinnon) for the latest news. “Well, the good news is it’s almost over,” he said. The bad news? “It’s almost over.”
From there, Trump phoned someone he knew would answer: Ben Stiller’s Michael Cohen.
“Mr. Trump, I’m not supposed to be talking to you,” Cohen said. “I’m gonna get in trouble.”
“You’ve gotta get me out of this,” Trump said. “Who can I give up to the Feds? What if I put my son Eric in old age makeup and a fat suit and say it’s me?” Later, he added, “I’m sad you’re going to prison, Michael, you’re like a son to me.” When Cohen then asked why he would make him do “so much illegal stuff,” Trump replied, “Because you’re like a son to me.”
“God, I haven’t been this upset since I flipped out over that parking space,” Baldwin’s Trump added in the only allusion to the actor’s latest legal troubles.
Finally, a shirtless Vladimir Putin (Beck Bennett) emerged from Trump’s room, soon to be followed by his new best “bro” Saudi Crown Prince Mohammed bin Salman, played by former SNL cast member Fred Armisen in yet another cameo. After recreating their now infamous high-five, Trump complained that he was no longer Putin’s “No 1.”
“You’re not my side piece. You’re like my main girlfriend and this guy is like a random hookup,” Putin insisted. “Hey, when am I moving into Trump Tower penthouse in Moscow? No, I’m kidding. I would never set foot in such a dump like that.” Then, echoing Trump’s comments about John McCain, he added, “You won’t see me for a while, Donnie. I prefer presidents who don’t get indicted.”
The sketch ended with Trump singing a familiar song from Evita: “Don’t cry for me Argentina, the truth is I’m very guilty. Some little no-nos and maybe treason. But I kept my promise. Oops, no, I didn’t. “
