In a confounding decision this week, Saturday Night Live decided to open its first post-Oscars episode not with the shocking physical attack on one of its most famous alums, but instead yet another episode of Fox & Friends.
After some jokes about Donald Trump’s Truth Social app and Ted Cruz’s Antiracist Baby nonsense, the hosts were joined by Kenan Thompson’s Clarence Thomas, who would neither confirm nor deny that he almost died of COVID-19 and Kate McKinnon’s Ginni Thomas, who spoke out against the controversy surrounding her texts to Mark Meadows on Jan. 6, 2021.
“I don’t want any trouble,” she said. “I take my duty as the Yoko Ono of the Supreme Court very seriously. All I want is a tidal wave of biblical vengeance to wash away the Biden crime family all the way to Gitmo and then we release the Kraken!”
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Next up was Cecily Strong’s Jeanine Pirro, who sounded off on “woke Disney” and Representative Madison Cawthorn, who “had me at white supremacy” and “lost me at orgy.”
They did finally get around to “The Slap” by the end of the sketch when James Austin Johnson’s Trump called in from his bed to weigh in for the very first time.
“You know, I did see Slap, I enjoyed Slap,” Trump said. “I was very impressed by Hitch. Quite an arm on Hitch. I always knew Hitch had an arm. Back in Pursuit of Happyness, he’s lugging the machine on and off the subway. I thought it was great. They slept in the bathroom in that movie. It’s so sad, so sad.”
“But it’s a sad night for Hitch too,” he continued. “That kind of behavior is not going to help Kevin James get a date with Allegra Cole, I’ll tell you that.”
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