Stephen Colbert wants Americans to understand just how badly the Department of Government Efficiency (DOGE) has been working so far.
Elon Musk‘s department has fired countless federal government employees in Trump’s first month back in office. As Colbert argued in his monologue Wednesday, some of those employees sure seemed important.
“Elon and the DOGE-bags have fired so many people,“ Colbert said, ”they’ve fired so many people so quickly in so many critical areas with so little thought beforehand, that the government is now scrambling to rehire the nuclear staff it fired on Friday.”
“These are folks involved with designing, building, and overseeing U.S. nuclear weapons stockpile,” said Colbert.
The Late Show host read from a recent BBC News article detailing how DOGE has attempted to rehire those employees after “concerns grew that their dismissal could jeopardize national security.”
“I share those concerns,” Colbert replied.
“But here’s the wrinkle in the rub,” Colbert continued. He quoted again from the BBC, “The government has struggled to reach the people that were fired after they were locked out of their federal email accounts.”
“So now we got a bunch of pissed-off people with a lot of time on their hands who know how to build nuclear weapons,” Colbert joked. He shrugged and sarcastically added, “Well, at least you couldn’t find them.”
Colbert was hardly finished ripping into DOGE, however. He quoted an NBC News report explaining, “The Department of Agriculture said that they accidentally fired officials working on bird flu and are now trying to rehire them.”
“Whoops-a-pidemic,” Colbert said. He joked further, “Thankfully, we all know that Donald Trump is a steady hand in a public health crisis.”
Perhaps the most embarrassing part about DOGE, as far as Colbert’s concerned, is that its founder is apparently distancing himself from the department’s actions.
“It turns out being an unelected donor running an unauthorized employee kill squad might get you sued at some point in the future,” Colbert explained. “So in new legal filings, the White House claims that Elon Musk is not in charge at DOGE.”
“What?!” said a baffled Colbert. “It’s literally named after his favorite meme.”
