Stephen Colbert spoke directly to gun owners Tuesday night in the wake of the latest apparent assassination attempt on Donald Trump.
In his Late Night monologue, the host said he’d been at the Emmys in Los Angeles on Sunday which turned out to be “kind of a serious news day,” referring to an alleged gunman showing up at the former president’s golf course in Florida. “I just want to state the obvious right off the bat: Political violence has no place in America,” Colbert said.
“In fact, can I talk to all the gun owners for just a second?” Colbert said. “Don’t shoot anyone. If you have even the vaguest idea that you might shoot someone, sell your gun and use that money to buy yourself a little treat.”
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He suggested that they could use the cash to buy “pancakes” or “one of those bicycle license plates with your name on it.”
“Or, you know what, a flute,” Colbert continued. “Learn the flute. Call your kids and tell them you’re trading your guns for a flute. They might visit.”
He went on to describe Ryan Routh—the man who was arrested after allegedly fleeing the scene of Trump’s golf course and who has been subsequently charged—as “a truly deranged man” for spending nearly 12 hours in hiding before being spotted by the Secret Service.
“That sounds like an evil plot straight out of Looney Tunes,” Colbert said before mocking Routh for being “all over the map” politically, citing the alleged gunman’s previous support for Trump, Bernie Sanders, Tulsi Gabbard, Nikki Haley, and Vivek Ramaswamy. “That’s like saying: ‘I’ll have the soup and if you don’t have that I will take sneakers,’” Colbert joked.
The host also pulled no punches in attacking Trump for blaming the incident on Kamala Harris and Joe Biden’s rhetoric. Colbert quoted from a Trump interview with Fox in which the Republican nominee said: “Their rhetoric is causing me to be shot at, when ... they are the ones that are destroying the country—both from the inside and out.”
“Nothing like blaming someone else for something you’re doing in the same sentence,” Colbert quipped. “‘Darling, you calling me unattractive hurts my feelings—marriage should be built on love, and I’m beginning to think you’re to fugly to understand that.’”
Colbert follows Jimmy Kimmel’s lead in condemning Trump’s remarks. Kimmel had joked the Republican presidential nominee was clearly “nothing if not a calming influence.”
Read it at The Late Show with Stephen Colbert
