Years before The Office, Steve Carell was a correspondent on The Daily Show, and one of his most popular recurring bits was “Even Stevphen.” The segment was a debate between Carell and then-correspondent Stephen Colbert, intended to mock the arguing between pundits on cable news that often failed to educate anyone on the issue at hand.
On Monday, 25 years after that first “Even Stevphen” sketch, Carell returned to The Late Show to reprise his role, storming on stage to counter Colbert’s proclamation that aging is a good thing: “Steven, we are born astride a grave, and each day, the cruel grasp of time pulls us closer to oblivion. You will never be younger than you are in this moment, and let’s face it, my friend: You haven’t aged well.”
As expected, Colbert, who turned 60 on Monday, countered with an argument that soon slid into ad hominem territory: “Age ripens us like a fine wine, because with age comes experience, and with experience comes wisdom. With wisdom comes the ability to see you for what you are: a sad, dumb, salt-and-pepper idiot.”
ADVERTISEMENT
The two apparent foes, both now in their sixties, traded barbs over each other’s age, before straying off-topic and roasting each other over everything else. “Good one,” Carell quipped, after Colbert made fun of his ongoing role in the Minions franchise, “I didn’t know you were allowed to tell jokes on this show. I better alert the network you’ve gone rogue.”
Soon enough, however, the stubborn pair both shyly admitted that they enjoyed each other’s company. Carell asked Colbert, “Do you miss arguing with me? Are you worried that the spark has gone out?”
After Colbert admitted that he does, in fact, miss him, Carell assured him, “We may not argue as much as we used to, but that doesn't make it any less sweet when we do.”
It wasn’t long before they were clutching hands over the table and gazing tenderly into each other’s eyes. “I will always be here for you,” a tearful Carell promised Colbert, before adding, “Anytime I have something to promote.”
The sweet, nostalgic segment ended with Carell wishing his old rival a happy 60th birthday: “Happy birthday, you dusty hag.” A heartfelt Colbert responded, “Thank you, you hideous crone.”
