Stormy Daniels Wants to Sell You a Trump-Spanking Souvenir

Are fake boobs better than fake news?

That’s the message Stormy Daniels is trying to send with her new online shop, which she’s running with the help of some friends—namely, her “two gay dads.”

“Her whole thing is … if I’m going to be in this situation, let’s have a little fun with it and take control of the message,” said J.D. Barrale, who is married to Daniels’ photographer and longtime pal Keith Munyan.

The site is peddling anti-bullying wristbands and #TeamStormy tees. Two designs take aim at President Trump and his attorney, Michael Cohen, whom Daniels is suing to void a “hush agreement” inked weeks before the 2016 election. (Cohen is also embroiled in a high-profile criminal probe over the payout.)

In one image, the porn star bends over a copy of Forbes with the words “Don’t make me spank you”—in homage to the apocryphal anecdote about Daniels whipping Trump’s behind with the magazine. (She actually allegedly paddled him with an edition of Trump.)

Another design is a tabloid cover of The Stormy Times. Daniels is pictured gripping her assets and smiling for the headline, “Fake Boobs > Fake news.” In the right-hand corner are lucky numbers for a $130,000 jackpot—a cheeky reference to what Cohen paid Daniels for her silence on the Trump affair.

“I made it ‘The Stormy Times’. I sent it to her and she said she just about peed her pants,” Munyan told The Daily Beast of his pet project with Daniels, as he filled T-shirt orders on Monday evening. “She thought it was the funniest thing ever.”

As The Daily Beast reported, Munyan was one of four people listed in Daniels’ hush agreement as having knowledge about her 2006 affair with Trump. (While Daniels’ former attorney and former manager are cooperating with the FBI probe into Cohen, Munyan says the feds haven’t contacted him.)

Munyan, who met Daniels on a photo shoot, said she would put Trump on speakerphone when he’d ring her in 2006 and 2007. Trump “would call all the time,” Munyan previously told The Daily Beast. “That man can talk about nothing for hours.”

The fashion photographer snapped Daniels for her Penthouse issue, which hit newsstands today with a nude spread of the actress.

Daniels hatched the Stormy Store during a recent visit with Munyan and Barrale, who live on a horse ranch in California and count Daniels as their family. The three sat around a kitchen table, talking and laughing, when the Stormy Store was born.

Munyan says Daniels needed a website; her suitcases full of merchandise for her Make America Horny Again tour were getting too heavy.

“I tell you what, J.D. and I will run it for you and handle all of it,” Munyan remembers telling her. “So that way you’re not worried about someone running off and stealing your money and everything and not able to keep control.”

The proud dads say they’re often concerned about Daniels. “When she comes here, she actually gets to feel like she’s safe and she actually gets to rest. ‘Cause she’s not been resting. We’re really worried about her,” Munyan told The Daily Beast.

“She has two bodyguards. She has a team traveling with her all the time now,” he added.

Munyan and Barrale said a percentage of the Stormy Store’s proceeds will go to anti-bullying nonprofits. One of Daniels’ offerings is a wristband etched with “Fighting bullies is kind of my thing” on the inside and “Team Stormy” on the outside.

Still, the couple says their best-seller is “#TeamStormy” in rainbow lettering. “I think for gay pride we’re gonna be a hit,” Barrale said. Munyan chimed in, “She warned us about this. She already told me, ‘We’ve got to do the rainbow.’” (They’re also plotting a display at Chi Chi LaRue’s, a West Hollywood adult boutique.)

“It shows some humor amid all the stress of this,” Barrale said, referring to the daily installments of the Stormy spectacle vexing Trumpland. “Stormy has struck a nerve.”

“I think the Republicans thought, ‘Who is this woman?’ and that this will just blow over because of who she is,” Barrale added. “She’s become a folk hero in a way.”

Daniels has appeared in court, on ABC’s The View, and even made a cameo on NBC’s Saturday Night Live in her dogged pursuit of Trump and his loyal fixer. “Just tell me, what do you need for this to all go away?” asked Alec Baldwin, playing the president on SNL last weekend. Daniels, to applause, retorted, “A resignation?”

“We are proud of her, very proud of her,” Munyan said.

“I thought what she wrote to Roseanne Barr was priceless,” Barrale said, referring to her Twitter feud over a NSFW topic.

“For the Americans who need hope and something to laugh about during dark and troubled times, I hope we’re helping you all out in this process,” Barrale added.

Daniels isn’t going away, her dads say.

“Do you want your leader to be someone who’s a continuous liar?’” Barrale said. “It’s very obvious she’s caught him in an enormous lie. It’s like gum that’s stuck to a shoe. You just can’t seem to get rid of it.”