Excellent week for:
The ear cosy
Forget MAGA hats—this year’s must have accessory at the RNC was the ear bandage. Enterprising delegates quickly made their own, applying scotch tape and a square of neatly folded toilet paper.
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Great week for:
The former president’s 17 year-old granddaughter stunned with her stage presence and a speech berating her grandpa for calling her at school to discuss golf. Her father, Donald Trump Jr., called her “sexy,” and warned any Kai-curious teen boys to “stay away”.
Good week For:
With Biden further enfeebled by COVID-19, things are looking up for the vice president. The brass ring is within her grasp.
Not such a good week for:
Her father, former President Donald Trump, snubbed her affection only to immediately accept a kiss on the cheek from his new favorite, granddaughter Kai. Then again, is it ever a good week for Tiffany?
Terrible week for: Freedom of the press
For the first time since the Cold War, a Russian court convicted an American journalist of espionage. Accused of spying for the CIA, Wall Street Journal reporter Evan Gershkovich was sentenced to 16 years in a maximum security penal colony. The State Department called him “wrongfully detained.”
Career ending week for:
The New Jersey senator denied reports he was resigning from Congress after being found guilty on 16 counts of bribery, and accepting “cash, gold bars, payments toward a home mortgage, compensation for a low-or-no-show job, a luxury vehicle and other items of value.” The jury didn’t believe his denials after discovering he had $150,000 in gold bars and upon returning from a business trip to Egypt promptly Googled, “How much is one kilo of gold worth?”
