On Wednesday, President Donald Trump broke with seven decades of U.S. foreign policy to brazenly recognize Jerusalem as the capital of Israel, which threatens to throw the region into even further chaos.
“Today we finally acknowledge the obvious: that Jerusalem is Israel’s capital,” Trump announced in a speech. “This is nothing more or less than a recognition of reality. It is also the right thing to do. It’s something that has to be done.”
President Trump, who’d once promised to broker peace between Israel and Palestine—via his remarkably underqualified son-in-law, Jared Kushner—earned the ire of many in the Middle East, from the Saudi royal family to Palestinian President Mahmoud Abbas, for his decision.
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“These procedures do also help in the extremist organizations to wage a religious war that would harm the entire region, which is going through critical moments and would lead us into wars that will never end, which we have warned about and always urged to fight against,” said Abbas in a televised statement.
But it was Trump’s bizarre speech that also earned headlines. During the talk delivered from the White House’s Diplomatic Reception Room, the president appeared to slur his words several times—including the words “United States.” He sounded, really, like Holly Hunter after a dentist appointment.
“Yo, did President Trump just Adele Dazeem the United States?” exclaimed Trevor Noah, referring to John Travolta’s infamous flubbing of Idina Menzel’s name at the Academy Awards. “What the hell was going on there?!... It seemed like somebody hit him with a blow-dart right before he made the speech.”
The Daily Show host then attempted to give the president the benefit of the doubt, saying “maybe it wasn’t as bad as it seemed,” and played the end of the speech again for his audience. Nope.
“It was worse! It was so much worse. He’s slurring and stumbling over the words. He sounds like he just had a drink with Bill Cosby,” cracked Noah.
But the comedian has a simple explanation for Trump’s fluctuating speech patterns: dentures.
“We all know what’s going on here: President Trump is wearing dentures, people. Yeah, that’s what’s going on. No, this used to happen to my grandfather all the time: His dentures would start falling out, and then he wouldn’t be able to finish his sentence,” Noah explained, adding, “Think about it: fake teeth, fake hair, fake tan. There’s no part of [Trump’s] body that’s real.”
He then, like his mentor Jon Stewart and “Fuckface Von Clownstick,” attempted to incite his followers to troll Trump on Twitter with the #DentureDonald.
“And by the way: There’s no shame in having dentures… but there is shame in Donald Trump having dentures, because he’s vain as hell,” said Noah. “Can you imagine how he would feel if people started tweeting #DentureDonald? Don’t do it! I’m just saying, can you imagine how he’d feel? But don’t do it, guys! He’s very sensitive, OK?!”
