The ‘Real Man’ Seinfeld Misses Is Guilty Bad Boy Hunter Biden

Jerry Seinfeld made a career out of complaining. He’s a complainer... He complains! And recently, he complained to Bari Weiss: “I miss dominant masculinity.”

As soon as the words left his mouth, Seinfeld qualified them. “Yeah, I get the toxic thing. I get it. I get it. But still I like a real man.” Seinfeld offered examples from the Seventies, the era of his recent movie Unfrosted. “It was JFK, it was Muhammad Ali, it was Sean Connery, Howard Cosell, you can go all the way down there. That’s a real man,” Seinfeld told Weiss. “I want to be like that someday.”

So did Hunter Biden. Today, a Delaware jury found Biden guilty on three counts of violating federal firearms laws. The smoking gun in Biden’s case was not an actual smoking gun but a broken laptop left in a repair shop filled with photos of Biden cosplaying what Seinfeld would call “a real man.”

The laptop photos were taken for private use and should not be published for both legal—and ethical— reasons. Still, some outlets have made them available on the internet. In many of these selfies, Biden adopts an aesthetic of “dominant masculinity.”

In one, he appears in the bathtub, arms crossed, looking defiant as a cigarette dangles from his mouth. This pose is reminiscent of sports journalist Cosell who was famous for posing with a cigar between his lips and a “Look ma, no hands!” vibe.

President John F. Kennedy was also known to let his stogie dangle while relaxing on the family yacht.

But the Seinfeld role model that Biden apes most is Sean Connery’s James Bond. In several photos, Biden appears bare-chested while entertaining scantily-clad women. In another damaging photo, Biden brandishes a 38-caliber Colt revolver by his naked thigh. And, yes, Biden’s gun is bigger than Bond’s Walther PPK.

One photo shows Biden smiling broadly on a bed as he pulls the hair of a woman on all fours. The casual violence toward women lines up with Sean Connery who told Playboy in 1965 that slapping women wasn’t off limits. “I don't think there is anything particularly wrong about hitting a woman,” Connery said, “although I don’t recommend doing it in the same way that you'd hit a man.”

Connery reiterated this stance to Barbara Walters in 1987 and to Vanity Fair in 1993 where he clarified his position. “Sometimes there are women who take it to the wire,” Connery told Zoe Heller. “That’s what they’re looking for, the ultimate confrontation—they want a smack.”

In 2006, Connery reversed himself and stated that abuse against women is never justified. That same year, his former wife Diane Cilento published her autobiography which included allegations that Connery had physically abused her. Connery died in 2020.

When Seinfeld yearns for “dominant masculinity,” he ignores who the masculine typically dominate. “Real men” inflict pain. Sometimes that pain lands on boxing opponents as in the case of Muhammed Ali. More often that pain is absorbed by women.

That pain andburden was on full display at the Biden trial. So many women in Biden’s life were dragged down by his toxic past.

• Daughter Naomi Biden Neal had to testify about begging her father to simply meet with her.
• Sister-in-law/former lover Hallie Biden was forced to tell the world that during a “terrible” period, she used crack cocaine with her brother-in-law/former lover.
• Ex-wife Kathleen Buhle testified about how her then-husband’s addiction and affairs tanked their 24-year marriage.
• First Lady Jill Biden had to juggle her official duties and her maternal duties to be present at the trial where she sat next to Hunter’s aunt.

With today’s verdict, Biden not only got to play “a bad boy,” he was criminally convicted for doing so.

He could have just plead guilty and not put any of the women in his life through the ordeal. That’s what a “real man” would have done.