We’ve seen David Hasselhoff vulnerable before, from running in revealing swimsuits on the beach of Baywatch to drunkenly eating a hamburger shirtless in front of his teenage daughter. But this time, the America’s Got Talent judge has agreed to the public scrutiny with a Comedy Central roast. “He’s multilingual,” Roast Master and Family Guy creator Seth MacFarlane tells the audience. “He can speak English, Spanish, German and... whatever the fuck that language was in the cheeseburger video.” In addition to MacFarlane, The Hoff’s former co-star Pamela Anderson, Hulk Hogan (and his McDonald’s colored boa), daytime-TV king Jerry Springer, and many others join in the fun. “How do you make jokes about a joke? How do you embarrass a man who so thoroughly embarrasses himself?” MacFarlane asks as Hasselhoff watches on from a lifeguard stand. Both excellent questions and we can’t wait to find out. The Comedy Central Roast of David Hasselhoff premieres on Sunday, August 15 at 10 p.m. EST. Kevin Winter / Getty Images After standing their ground throughout New York City’s Flatiron District, the 31 naked life-size sculptures Antony Gormley created in his likeness will come down this week. Gormley perched the bare-bottomed replicas on rooftops, on the grounds of Madison Square Park, and on various sidewalks in the Manhattan area, and for more than 140 days, New Yorkers and tourists alike have stared in bewilderment at the incredible public art show he entitled Event Horizon. The British-born sculptor originally created the exhibition for London’s Hayward Gallery in 2007, placing the figures on bridges, rooftops, and various corners along the south bank of the River Thames. But more than the objects themselves, the show was about engaging the passersby—from the children who curiously grab the sculptures’ genitals to the concerned citizens looking up at those bodies atop sky-high buildings. “You could almost say the insertion of the sculpture is like the insertion of acupuncture needles within a collective body,” Gormley told The New York Times.“Seeing how the body as a whole reacts to the presence of this irritation is very much the point.” Antony Gormley’s Event Horizon leaves New York on Sunday, August 15. James Ewing / Courtesy of Event Horizon Although they were barely functioning as a four-man unit at the time, the last album that The Beatles recorded, Abbey Road is often regarded as their best. And the piano the mop-top rockers used to help them “Come Together” could offer similar magic for one lucky buyer. This week, the Abbey Road upright is on sale in London at Bonhams’ Pioneers of Popular Culture auction, with a pre-sale estimate of approximately $230,000. The coffee-stained and cigarette-burned instrument sat in Studio Three at Abbey Road and is featured on several of the band’s songs including “Paperback Writer," Reuters reports. It was also reportedly used by Pink Floyd to record songs on their Wish You Were Here and Dark Side of the Moon albums. All you need is love and a whole lot of money to make this piece of history yours. The Beatles’ Abbey Road piano will be auctioned at the Pioneers of Popular Culture sale in England at Bonhams on Sunday, August 15. Courtesy of Bonhams 1793 Ltd Be warned, James Patterson’s latest sure-to-be bestseller just might make you nervous to check your mail. In The Postcard Killers, Detective Jacob Kanon treks through Europe on the heels of the man who murdered his daughter, whose death alongside her boyfriend was the first in a string of untimely ends for young couples across the continent. The murderer leaves no clues except for—you guessed it—a postcard, sent to the local papers before each new kill. As Kanon teams up with a Swedish reporter to head off the killer before the next tragedy, Patterson once again struts his stuff as the master of his genre, and the results are undeniably engrossing. The Postcard Killers hits shelves on Monday, August 16. For every fashion magazine, September is the annual cash cow. But for the past few years, the skinniness of the September issue has rivaled the svelteness of the models within. Now, however, ad pages are on the climb again. According to Women’s Wear Daily, Vogue, featuring Halle Berry, will boast 532 ad pages, marking a 25 percent increase from last year’s September issue. In the magazine, which hits newsstands this week, Berry rocks Anna Wintour-like tresses and explains that though she’s shied away from the spotlight, she couldn’t refuse Vogue’s September issue. “What that means for a woman of color and what that means in the fashion world, what that means to pop culture, there was no way I could say, ‘No I'm not going to be on the biggest issue of the year,’” she says. Over at W, which is up 31 percent with 252 ad pages, September is also a big month for two reasons: It’s also the first Stefano Tonchi-directed issue. The former editor of T: The New York Times Magazine has “Hollywood’s New It Girls”—Yaya DaCosta, Jennifer Lawrence, Greta Gerwig, Kat Dennings, Jessica Chastain, Emma Roberts, Zoë Kravitz, and Mary Elizabeth Winstead—on its cover, in addition to a new logo. The September headline, “Great Expectations,” not only refers to the young actresses, “but also to the pressure that we feel to satisfy the expectations that people have for the magazine,” Tonchi told WWD. W’s September issue hits newsstands on Monday, August 16 while Vogue graces us with theirs on Tuesday, August 17 in New York and Los Angeles (and on August 24 nationwide). Few musicians have managed to achieve the lasting power of John Mellencamp, whose latest project, No Better Than This, marks his 21st studio album. The story behind the album is fittingly historic, as Mellencamp recorded at three different studios that formerly saw the creation of tracks by Elvis Presley, Jerry Lee Lewis, and Robert Johnson, among others. The result is a collection of relaxed tunes that The New Yorker calls “a loose, lovely celebration,” and some of Mellencamp’s best work in years. And, much like LaMontagne’s stripped-down recording approach, Mellencamp and his band recorded the entire album with a 55-year-old Ampex 601 tape recorder and a single microphone, proving that even in the age of overproduced power pop, less can still be more. No Better Than This comes out on Tuesday, August 17. One of the most powerful new voices in crime fiction, Laura Lippman is back this week with I’d Know You Anywhere, a gripping story of the psychological aftermath that accompanies crime. As kidnapping survivor Eliza Benedict attempts to live a relatively normal life, her kidnapper, Walter Bowman, now on death row, contacts her asking for forgiveness and a final visit from the victim he considers “the one who got away.” After overcoming Stockholm syndrome and blocking out much of the incident, should Eliza risk contact with a disturbed man who may well have an ulterior motive? Lippman brings her trademark gimlet eye to a story that goes far beyond the territory of the typical crime novel, raising moral questions for both her characters and the reader that are anything but black and white. I’d Know You Anywhere comes out on Tuesday, August 17. As Americans are all painfully aware, the tension between Christianity and Islam is one of the oldest conflicts in the world, yet still one of the most pressing. Even so, the subject is rarely treated with appropriate subtlety and perspective, a wrong that has been at least partially righted by Eliza Griswold in her thoughtful new book, The Tenth Parallel: Dispatches from the Fault Line Between Christianity and Islam. Named after the line on the Equator where Christian and Muslim cultures most closely collide, The Tenth Parallel is the result of 10 years of research in the region by Griswold, an investigative journalist and poet, and gives a much-needed nuanced look at cultural conflicts we so often only think of in the abstract. The book has already earned praise from none other than Archbishop Desmond Tutu, who said, “Griswold's courageous pilgrimage changes the way we think about Christianity and Islam by exploding any simplistic ‘clash’ narrative. She returns us to the most basic truth of human existence: that the world and its people are interconnected.” The Tenth Parallel: Dispatches from the Fault Line Between Christianity and Islam is available starting on Tuesday, August 17. The Standard Hotel’s voyeuristic windows in New York City’s Meatpacking District have been the topic of many exhibitionist discussions, but Target is giving us a non-perverted reason to take a peek inside the venue this week with its Kaleidoscopic Fashion Spectacular. The part-fashion, part-light show takes over the hotel Wednesday to present 66 dancers dressed in the company’s fall fashions performing choreography synchronized to the fast-paced patterns in 155 of the Standard’s rooms. “Using New York City as a backdrop, we’re taking the runway show concept to a whole new level,” Senior Vice President Trish Adams explains. On street level, models will be sporting 25 of the looks in a nine-room stage that replicates the hotel structure. Those Bryant Park tents will not be missed. The Target Kaleidoscopic Fashion Spectacular begins on Wednesday, August 18 at 9 p.m. EST at the Standard New York and will be broadcast live on Facebook. Courtesy of Target