Visibility isn’t so simple when you’re a transgender boy or girl. On today’s Transgender Day of Visibility, trans kids and their cisgender parents will balance the joy of being “out” with the risk of placing a target on their backs in this highly-charged political climate.
“I’m visible to the people close to me, like my friends and family, as well as in my art, which I think is important for representation,” a trans boy named Austen told The Daily Beast.
Austen is one of four trans kids who agreed to be interviewed for this 2022 Transgender Day of Visibility, with their parents’ permission: a boy and two girls in Arizona (where Governor Doug Ducey signed two bills on Wednesday, banning trans athletes from playing on girls’ sports teams, and banning minors from having gender-confirmation surgery), and a girl in Connecticut, where state laws protect her rights.
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Speaking out is an act of bravery and courage on the young people’s part. Oklahoma joined Arizona in signing an anti-trans sport-at-school into law Wednesday, joining 13 other states that have already enacted anti-trans legislation with several more considering all kinds of bills, some modeled on bans against student athletes, others gender-affirming healthcare, and more echoing the anti-LGBTQ rhetoric of Florida’s “Don’t Say ‘Gay’” bill, which Gov. Ron DeSantis signed into law this week. Dawn Ennis
Austen, 16, Arizona
“If passed, the anti-trans bills would be a huge disturbance to my life, intruding on my personal medical business and taking away my right to the medical treatment I need to stay alive and healthy,” Austen said. “The people trying to pass these hateful bills don’t understand what they’re talking about and much less understand that it ruins the lives of children and families, the very people they claim to be fighting for.”
“Arizona has a long way to go in trans rights, and is now going backwards along with so many other states in this country right now,” Austen’s father, Josh Dogin, said, comparing this era to the propaganda of pre-war Nazi Germany. “This is heartbreaking for us.”
The family recently moved from Alburquerque to a Phoenix suburb because of his father’s job at Intel. His dad took a very public stand, testifying in opposition to bills ultimately passed by the Republican-led Arizona House: If signed into law, the bill would ban transgender girls from playing on sports teams that align with their gender identity. Another bill, in its final version, bans gender-affirming surgery for patients under 18 years old.
“We are working to convince the governor to veto, but I highly doubt he will,” said Dogin. “For Austen, the impact will likely be minimal; he turns 17 in May and the bill isn’t set to take effect until March 31, 2023, so we can still likely get his top surgery prior to then. If not, he’ll get it next year when he turns 18. The impact to so many other trans kids will be significant, though.”
Art created by 16-year-old Austen who lives in Arizona.
Courtesy of AustenDogin said he and his wife Dina regret not seeing the signs that are so clear now.
“We have seen the emotional impacts of children not having support. Austen actually has a friend who is a trans female, and her parents are not supportive of her at all,” said Dogin. “We will always carry the guilt of not seeing it sooner, and always think about how much better it would have been if we could have gotten him on puberty blockers before he started to develop.”
Austen said following the onset of puberty, his friends bought him binders for his chest and he wore baggy clothes. But it wasn’t enough to eliminate his dysphoria. According to his father, Austen’s grades plummeted and he shut everyone out, spending hours alone in his bedroom.
“He would not go to the restroom at school and came home every day desperate to use the bathroom,” Dogin said. Austen came out to his friends in eighth grade, and to his parents a year later in 2019. “He would not have had to wear binders, or even felt like he had to hide this from us had we done a better job of ‘seeing’ him for who he was sooner. So, we’ll always carry the guilt of missed opportunities to better support him. We wish we would have had better information, or somehow been better informed at some point along the line. But we are all in now.”
“Having people that relate to me and understand me makes all the difference and love and support is necessary for the well-being of everyone,” said Austen. “I hate to be clichéd, but of course, I wouldn’t be here without them.”
As we’ve reported, it’s a heartbreaking statistic: 42 percent of LGBTQ youth say they seriously considered attempting suicide, including more than half of transgender and nonbinary youth, blaming rejection and an overall lack of acceptance as triggers.
“All these bills do is hurt children by alienating and othering them from other children,” said Austen, “and teaching them that there is something wrong with them.”
“These kids are the bravest kids on earth, and we're so proud of our son, and them,” Austen’s dad told me. “For them to stand up to a bunch of ignorant, hateful adults is true courage.”
Sixteen year old Eva Gold, who lives in Connecticut.
Courtesy of Alisa GoldEva Gold, 16, Connecticut
“Visibility is important to show others it’s possible to live an authentic life and be happy, content and fulfilled. The haters can't stop me from being myself,” said Eva Gold, a trans girl growing up in Connecticut who declared to her parents she was a girl starting in kindergarten, and has literally grown up demonstrating at the state capitol.
“I have been an active advocate for equal rights since about age five,” she said. “I advocate for those who don't have a voice by speaking out, by sharing my personal story. I’ve helped to educate and foster awareness and understanding in the general public with mental health workers, educators, medical personnel and government officials. I spoke out publicly against the proposed discriminatory changes to the healthcare and health insurance laws under the Trump administration. I also helped organize our town’s first Pride in the Park celebration and our temple’s first Pride Shabbat.”
Gold says she is visibly trans to help those who aren’t. “To those who are questioning, feeling like they're the only ones like this in the world, it shows them that they are not alone and that there's someone else like them.”
The teen now attends a boarding school where being trans is no big deal. “A lot of people at my boarding school are nonbinary or trans or part of the LGBTQ community,” said Gold.
“Not as many people are as lucky as me,” she said, referring to laws beyond Connecticut that concern her when it comes to travel.
“Texas is most definitely out of the question,” said Gold, who is adopted. “My birth family live in a state where the government has restricted trans people’s access to gender-affirming health care, where health care providers can refuse to treat me based on their beliefs. So, if I got in a car crash and I needed immediate attention, they could say, ‘No, we don't want to, because you're trans,’ and that makes it dangerous for me to visit them where they live.”
As for sports, Gold said she plays tennis and volleyball now and was a soccer player since the age of 5 and was never the best athlete on the girls’ team.
“Everybody has a body that's built differently, so no two people of the same gender are ever going to have the exact same build, or make-up,” she said. “To exclude trans girls from girls’ sports teams makes no sense.”
Charlie and Ally, both 12, Arizona
“Trans people they just want to live their lives like a normal human being,” said Charlie, whose parents sued the state of Arizona to change her gender marker on her birth certificate. “If they actually make these laws, it is going to ruin some people's lives and send the message that this society does not accept people for who they are, which is what America is. America is the country of freedom. If you can't allow everyone to be free to be themselves, then is it really the country of freedom?”
Charlie’s mom told me the push to criminalize gender-affirming care has been chilling.
“What's going on in Arizona and all over the country is forcing people who would normally be allies and advocates into silence, because of what happened in Texas and what almost happened here, and it's continuing to happen in Arizona,” she said. “I never thought I could be in a position where I could lose my kid or be facing prison time.”
“It makes me mad,” said Ally, also 12 and living in Arizona. We spoke about how bans on trans student-athletes guarantee that only cisgender players can win in sports. “The glory of winning just makes you happy. The possibility that you can either win or lose makes you learn so many lessons. If you're not able to win, you won't really learn anything. You’ll just learn that you don’t get anything out of it if you’re different.”
Ally plays disc golf, and named five other things that she enjoys as the girl she truly is. “I love to read. I’m a big arts person, and I like drama and stuff like that. I like playing video games. And I'm obsessed with Disney.”
The Disney company’s late opposition to Florida’s new anti-gay and anti-trans “parental rights law” wasn’t on this 12-year-old’s radar. But she did want to share a message to lawmakers in her home state of Arizona and in the other states considering trans bans and other bills:
“Think about the kids,” said Ally. “Some of these laws, if they are passed, suicide rates are going to go up, sadly, and I think kids are going to start just not feeling right, and it’s going to be a really sad time. And I want them to think not just about the fairness of the game, but think about the lives that are actually at stake.”
