Culture

Trump Dresses Like a Spoiled Rich Kid

Seeing Red

The clothes the GOP candidate wears tells us all we need to know about a man whose idea of dressing well extends no further than how expensive his clothes are.

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Throughout our current election cycle, the ideas and opinions of Donald Trump have been examined, analyzed, and argued about constantly. However, what hasn’t been talked about so often is his style. I believe that the way a man dresses says a lot about how he feels about himself and the image he is trying to project to the world. Therefore, by examining his clothing choices, we can perhaps gain better insight into how Trump feels about himself.

If I had to sum up his style in a single phrase, I’d probably call it “Spoiled Rich Kid.” When you grow up lower middle class, as I did, your first pair of dress shoes are a big deal. You spend time polishing and taking care of the shoes, moving a soft brush carefully over the leather, polish accumulating under your fingernails. Trump has probably never shined a pair of shoes in his fucking life. The first shoes and suit he probably ever owned were given to him by his father, and since then he’s just been imitating that same look, like an oversized Richie Rich. He wears the kind of black, shiny, lace-up shoes that look plucked straight from the “Business shoes for dummies” catalogue—the type of shoes arrogant assholes like to rest on the tops of their desks in an overhanded show of dominance when they’re talking to you.

In fact, his entire look seems to be calculated to impress and dominate. He wears those suits with the big, oversized shoulders, trying to make himself seem larger and bigger, like a human pufferfish hoping the predator eyeing him for a snack will buy his bluff and move on. Most of all, what they communicate to me the most is that he thinks he is the boss, and everybody should do what he says. Here is a man whose version of manners is a snarl.

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What really bothers me, though, are those bright red ties. Obviously a lot of candidates choose primary colors and solids when it comes to ties, as people say they look better on TV. However, his come off as garish and unflattering, and look cheap. I definitely know the difference between a tie that is strong and a tie that is tacky, and his fall firmly into the latter category. They are wide and terribly knotted, too close to the neck, probably made of terrible material. After all, look at the ties he put out when he had his own line of them. To find one currently you’d have to fish them out of the bargain bin somewhere, as that venture sank just as fast as all his other failed attempts at branding, like alcohol and water. He is the complete embodiment of the stereotype of the rich person who dresses terribly because they are more concerned with wearing something expensive than something stylish.

If you want someone to compare Trump to fashion-wise, President Obama is is a good example of a guy who has worn stylish ties, usually an interesting solid color like green or orange, with a long narrow knot and indentation just below the knot called a dimple. However, as his presidency comes to a close, he’s started to wear more gray ties, as if he’s trying to match them to his hair. If he was smart he would let his uber-stylish daughters buy him some new ties.

Overall, Trump to me looks like a man who has never done a hard day’s work in his life. Considering his opinions on immigrants (who are actually some of the most hardworking people in the country), I would love to see him spend one day getting up at the crack of dawn to work with an Ecuadorian brick-layer, or work as a janitor in a large school, or even a busboy in a busy restaurant. He looks like an overblown cartoon, a caricature of himself, a dog that is all bark and no bite. His style, like himself, is overblown, garish, and completely lacking in substance. To me, the only advantage I can see to those red ties he wears is at least the blood stains will match when he finally gets the smack in the mouth he deserves.

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