“I come to you now on night four of the Republican National Convention,” Stephen Colbert began his big Late Show Thursday night. “We are live, but after watching that speech, I’m dead inside.”
He was referring to Donald Trump’s 93-minute speech, which rambled on for so long that Colbert’s live show had to air close to 1 a.m. ET instead of the usual 11:35pm.
“Trump gave the longest convention address of all time,” Colbert said. “Apparently, when they were chanting ‘four more years,’ he thought they meant of this speech.”
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Colbert gave his viewers a basic rundown of Trump’s speech, which included a tangent about the musician Kid Rock, who performed at the RNC earlier that day. “You know, he has rallies, 35,000, 40,000 people he gets, every time he goes out,” Trump mused, to which a frustrated Colbert replied, “They’re called concerts!”
Colbert also featured a clip of Trump saying, “I’m here tonight to lay out a vision for the whole nation, to every citizen, whether you’re young or old, man or woman, Democrat, Republican or Independent, Black or white, Asian or Hispanic…”
Colbert kept the list going: “...Freaks or geeks, Sharks or Jets, innies or outies, tops or bottoms, paper or plastic, regular or extra crispy, Gryffindor or Hufflepuff, Simon or Garfunkel...”
“So, anyway, there it is,” said the clearly exhausted host at the end of his monologue. “Longest speech of all time. They did it, though: They had a convention, they made me watch most of it, and I made you watch some of it. Please forgive me.”
