A 17-year-old Ohio girl’s admission that she cut off a tanker in Central Illinois last year, causing a crash that killed 5 and spilled a toxic chemical that forced the evacuation of about 500 people, reads like it came from the pages of the satirical publication The Onion. “Oh, [expletive]. Yeah. Oh, my goodness. Yep, totally my bad. Wow. Holy [expletive],” the girl said upon seeing the clip six days after the incident, according to a recently-released federal report that included her interview with Illinois State Police. The girl, whose name was not released because she was a minor, was attempting to pass the truck on a two-lane highway. However, with oncoming traffic threatening the girl’s car, the tanker was forced to veer off the road, spilling over 3,000 gallons of toxic fertilizer. “It was totally my fault,” she told police. “I’ve honestly in the past had times when I just don’t use good judgment in judging like distances and whether I have enough time for something.” The girl, who was traveling with her mother, said that nobody in the car noticed that the crash had even happened.