This week, the New York attorney general released a massive report on Gov. Andrew Cuomo’s long record of sexual harassment. Investigators found compelling evidence that Cuomo had harassed 11 female state employees. In addition, he created a hostile work environment, showered young female staffers with unwanted sexual attention, and violated state and federal law.
All this made him look pretty bad. But Cuomo released a response to the report that somehow made him look even worse.
I’m sure whatever comms people helped craft the Position Statement of Governor Cuomo thought that they had put out a slam dunk. The statement contains a logical explanation—or feasible-sounding excuse—for every one of the encounters detailed in Attorney General Letitia James’ report. Gov. Cuomo is not a dirty old man under a pound of TV makeup more interested in playing an effective politician on TV than being one in real life; Andrew Cuomo is a father figure to everybody who has ever worked for him, and those who were made uncomfortable by his behavior simply don’t know how to have dads. His accusers are power-hungry, crazy, unstable liars, and all this makes Andrew Cuomo, who again was just trying to be a dad, very sad. Just to drive this point home, the governor’s statement includes several pages of .jpegs of him hugging people.
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But under the lightest of scrutiny, Cuomo’s response is a master class in gaslighting and DARVO (Deny, Attack, and Reverse Victim and Offender), a common tactic of abusers that anybody who has gone to therapy or spent time on mental health TikTok can spot from a mile away.
In his statement, the governor implies that former staffer Lindsey Boylan only accused him of harassment to get attention for herself and a boost for her nascent political career. He alludes to knowing deeply personal stories about two other accusers, both of whom confided in him, in a way that almost reads as threatening; nice little secrets you got there. It’d be a shame if somebody told a newspaper about them. He implied that one accuser couldn’t possibly have been harassed because on the same day she was allegedly harassed, she sent a text about enjoying cheese (everybody knows that on days that women are harassed, we are too distraught even to consider cheese).
Cuomo wants us to believe that 11 women, for totally disparate reasons, conspired somehow to smear him, rather than the simpler explanation, which is that his behavior was unacceptable at best and illegal at worst.
He also tries to get away with shitty behavior by giving it a cutesy rebrand. In Cuomo’s statement, sexually inappropriate questions are now “banter.” Wildly inappropriate comments are “jokes” that contribute to office camaraderie.
Cuomo points out that he employs a number of women at high-level positions, which I guess is supposed to be evidence that he couldn’t possibly be a serial sexual harasser. But if there are truly that many women in Cuomo’s inner circle and they are all the girlbosses he claims they are, it’s puzzling that a statement this tone-deaf ever saw the light of day. Maybe he believes that palling around with the lawyer from Time’s Up inoculates him from the consequences of his actions. I’m not sure that anything would save his reputation at this point, but the smallest amount of contrition couldn’t have hurt.
Cuomo didn’t invent pretending he’s too paternal to be harmful when called on his bullshit. He’s a type. As I was mucking my way through James’ report, I saw a character I thought looked familiar. But once I’d made my way through Cuomo’s self-pitying denial of the accusations, I knew exactly who we were dealing with. It’s an archetype I suspect many women recognize, that some men probably recognize, if they’ve been the unfortunate recipient of unwanted attention from this particular strain of sex pest: The Horny Mentor.
The Horny Mentor is closely related to the reviled Nice Guy, except older, more powerful, and with a higher credit limit. Both gaslight the attractive women (and, less commonly, men) they target by claiming that they’re only trying to add value to their lives when in fact they are in it for the sex. Nice Guys hide their sexual motives behind false platonic friendship that transforms into rage when the woman he’s spent all this time being friends with won’t reward his kindness with a blow job bare minimum; Horny Mentors hide behind false paternalism and mentorship that transform into rage when his target isn’t grateful enough to fuck him—or at least indulge him—in exchange for special attention from the sexually inappropriate office dad she didn’t ask for.
The accusations leveled against Cuomo, and his denial and deflection-riddled response to them, read like Horny Mentor Mad Libs. Change a few details and it could have taken place just about anywhere, from Albany to Spokane, and just about any time—last year or 40 years ago. Change a few details and many women might recognize themselves in the story: young, vulnerable, comparatively disempowered. They may remember how they felt when the most important man in the governor’s mansion, the head of the ad sales division, or the manager at the local Chilli’s took an uncomfortably close interest in them, the feeling of trying to hold him off without hurting his feelings or making him mad, the shame of telling him no.
A Horny Mentor will dangle his power before his target in an attempt to impress her, and then, when the target is not willing to behave in the way he wants her to behave in exchange for access, he will accuse her of using him. It’s a little like a man who uses flashy displays of material wealth to attract women complaining about women being interested in his material wealth.
The Horny Mentor’s power—like the power of other abusers—hinges on the belief that his stature will protect him from scrutiny. Anybody who speaks out against him won’t be believed because they don’t matter. Perhaps that’s where Cuomo found the audacity to release a statement blaming and attacking his alleged victims. He’s so committed to the belief system that enabled him for years that, despite all the evidence against him, despite all the calls for his resignation, he still thinks he’ll get away with it if he holds on for long enough.
With little recourse beyond sustained public outcry and the slow peristalsis of the impeachment process, he might.
