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Writer and comedian Andy Borowitz's work has appeared in Condé Nast Portfolio, the New Yorker and The New York Times. His Web site is BorowitzReport.com.

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What Bernie Should Read in Jail

As the Ponzi king heads to prison, he suddenly has a lot of time on his hands. Andy Borowitz recommends five books that should keep him busy for the next 150 years.

Andy Borowitz | Published Jul 06, 2009

The Cheney Media Blitz You Didn't See

The former vice president's current media blitz begs a question: could he actually be planning a presidential run? Here are 8 signs you might be seeing "Cheney 2012."

The Daily Beast Video, Andy Borowitz | Published May 15, 2009

Ashley Dupré in Exile

This week's Newsweek cover story unfortunately focused on the least interesting person in the Eliot Spitzer sex scandal: Eliot Spitzer. As a public service, satirist Andy Borowitz has fabricated the following profile of the significantly more interesting Ashley Alexandra Dupré.

Andy Borowitz | Published Apr 22, 2009

Shabbat Sha-Lohan!

Lindsay Lohan tried converting to Judaism to save her relationship with Samantha Ronson. No surprise, says Andy Borowitz: Her movies are filled with subtle but rich Talmudic themes.

Andy Borowitz | Published Apr 07, 2009

Heinous Investment Advice

Some foolproof rules for the savvy investor: Hiding money in mattresses is too risky. Mothers can’t be trusted. And the average dog can beat the S&P 500.

Andy Borowitz | Published Mar 23, 2009

How Big Is Obama's Package?

‘A personal matter,’ says president-elect.

Andy Borowitz | Published Jan 09, 2009