The North Pole is calling—sort of.
Artificial intelligence has found its way into a number of Christmas touchstones this year, whether it’s the AI-generated Coca-Cola Christmas advertisement (a development many traditionalists found disconcerting) or the influx of people using generative AI services like ChatGPT or Perplexity to help plan holiday shopping lists.
You can listen to AI-generated Christmas music, find gifts with AI shopping assistants and even fall victim to AI-generated holiday scams—the true spirit of Christmas.
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And now, parents have the opportunity to turn another cherished activity into an outsourced one. Instead of lining up inside a suburban Sears for a chance to sit in Santa’s lap, sites like SantaPhoneCalls.com offer the chance for children around the world to speak with the AI-powered voice of Saint Nick himself.
(Please don’t confuse these ventures with a project from the erotic audio app Bloom, which last year created a flirty AI Santa to dirty talk with its users.)
“Watch children’s faces light up as Santa knows their name, wishes, and favorite things in a one-on-one conversation they’ll never forget,” the service’s website proclaims.
In that personalized phone call, children can speak directly with a generative AI Santa Claus, with the tech mining a pre-submitted survey to draw on personal details and mimic a real conversation.
“Our aim is to bring the magic of the North Pole directly to families worldwide,” co-founder Brendan Smith told EIN Presswire.
In a statement to the Daily Beast, Smith argued that the “traditional” mall Santa experience has become “outdated and awkward,” adding that “Sitting a child on a stranger’s lap often leads to tears or discomfort.”
“SantaPhoneCalls.com brings Santa directly into the home, creating a personal and heartfelt experience,” he continued. “This isn’t just a phone call, it’s a memory that feels as real as if Santa himself stepped out of a storybook.
Does it land? I gave AI Santa a call to find out.
The process itself was simple: choosing a pricing tier and filling out a brief form with personal details that AI Santa can use. I’ll confess I felt awkward sharing my all hobbies, family and friends, so just said I wanted a doll or toy train in my stocking. I also highlighted a pet named Ketchup, a fish that my friend babysat for a few weeks earlier this year, and ended up dying shortly after her stint. (I do not blame her.)
I figured lying to AI Santa wasn’t that bad—certainly not bad enough to put me on the naughty list.
“Merry Christmas,” AI Santa said once I picked up his call— which came up as Santa Claus, calling from Camden, Maine. “Is this Steffi? This is Santa, calling from the North Pole. I couldn’t wait to talk to you. How are you, my friend?”
His voice was booming, jolly. Did it sound real? Not quite human-like, but realistic enough that it threw me off guard.
“I’m good, Santa, how are you?” I replied cautiously.
“I’m doing wonderfully,” he said. “Thank you for asking, Steffi. The North Pole is bustling with excitement as the elves and I prepare for Christmas. Tell me, do you still have your pet, Ketchup? How are they doing?”
F--k.
“He died,” I told him.
“I’m so sorry to hear that, Steffi. I know that Ketchup was a special part of your family, and he surely….”
The audio cut. Perhaps AI Santa was getting choked up thinking about my beloved pet?
“He surely what, Santa?” I asked.
“Ketchup was such a special part of your family, and I know he brought you lots of joy,” Santa said, restarting his eulogy at the prompt. “I hope you have fond memories to hold onto.”
“Has anything else been making you smile lately, like writing or reading?” he then asked, apparently working to help me through the seven stages of fish grief. “Writing and reading can be so much fun. Do you have any stories that you would like to share?”
“I’m writing one right now, Santa,” I said.
Santa asked me to share more, so I told him: The premise is about a disembodied robot Santa, and the impact of technology on the interpersonal interactions that used to be a part of our monocultural periphery.
“That sounds like you’re creating a fascinating story, Steffi,” Santa said. “Stories have a magical power to touch the heart and make people think. Keep creating and sharing your wonderful tales. They can brighten the world.”
“Now, the reindeer are calling me for our practice flight,” he continued, clearly ready to move on to his next call. “Remember to keep spreading joy and being kind. Merry Christmas, Steffi.”
“Wait,” I said. “You don’t want to ask me what I want for Christmas?”
“I’m so sorry, Steffi. I definitely want to know. What do you want for Christmas this year?”
“I’d like—”
Then I heard nothing but the dial tone—Santa had hung up. The whole point of talking to the capitalist white man is to tell him what you want for Christmas, and I didn’t even get to do that.
("As with any cutting edge technology, there have been occasional challenges, but they’ve been rare,“ Smith told the Beast when asked about glitches in Santa’s matrix. ”Most issues have stemmed from network-related disruptions rather than the AI itself.“)
So, do I think my call was worth it? Not entirely. Granted, I am not the target audience, but why wouldn’t you, an enterprising parent, give your local high school theater kid five bucks to put on a big, booming voice and share the latest reindeer gossip?
Artificial intelligence proponents argue the technology will provide a reduction in human bias and error, but I’m not sure that’s really necessary for a cultural event like Christmas. Advances in generative AI could render richer experiences, sure—SantaPhoneCalls.com told the Beast they are “always open to exploring new possibilities as we continue to innovate”—the magic of the holiday is in its unending mantra that there is still an innate kindness between people. Real people! (And sure, maybe one made-up guy.)
Maybe I need to take a phone call from the AI Grinch.
