This year, like every year, I am grateful for celebrities. Not because they are intelligent, altruistic, or even interesting people—the vast majority of them are exceedingly dull. But when they make a mess, boy howdy is it a mess. And who among us doesn’t want to shove our whole face into that sometimes? I am Bruce Bogtrotter in Matilda, and celebrity drama is my chocolate cake.
But some messes are decidedly less delicious. In compiling a list of the funniest, most entertaining celebrity scandals of the year, I made a pact with myself: no talk of slaps, private jets, Elon Musk, or Kanye West (and any adjacent parties). I’m exhausted by them all. If you want to relive those moments, go find another list; I’m sure there are dozens of them. (You animal.)
Instead, here’s a scrumptiously curated gossip, rumors, embarrassments, catfights, and news items that made us all laugh this year.
Everything Involving 'Don’t Worry Darling'
Where to begin with Oliva Wilde’s dud of a second feature? Perhaps with the movie itself: Roasted by critics and mocked by audiences, Don’t Worry Darling didn’t live up to the hype its initial trailers engendered. (Florence Pugh, a.k.a. “Miss Flo,” certainly did her darndest to save it, at least.) But its increasingly chaotic lead-up would have scarred the film even if it was any good.
Wilde’s break-up with Jason Sudeikis during the movie’s production got a lot of buzz, especially as she started dating star Harry Styles soon thereafter. Things got extra heated when their former nanny started leaking alleged texts from the couple that made them sound utterly ridiculous. (Jason was apparently very upset about Olivia sharing her “special salad dressing” with Harry.)
There was also the film’s disastrous premiere at Venice Film Festival, the absolute pinnacle of comically tragic press tours. Pugh refused to participate in press events, citing “scheduling conflicts”—which seemed to be a ruse when she was photographed looking fun and frisky with an Aperol spritz ahead of the red carpet. There is nothing more respectable than actively lying to get out of hanging with your annoying co-workers; good job, Flo!
The rumor mill had speculated for months that Pugh and Wilde were not on speaking terms, following a tense shoot, competing quotes about the film’s sex scenes, and Pugh’s refusal to do any promo. (Shia Labeouf was also involved, of all people.) Venice didn’t help quell the gossip, when the pair weren’t seen interacting at all—in fact, it just made it even more exciting. I want women to support women, but I also like when people openly despise each other but won’t admit it.
And then Styles, who also was curiously ignoring Wilde the whole time, appeared to spit on co-star Chris Pine. “Spitgate,” we’ll never forget you, your glorious memes, or how Pine deserved so much better than your mess.
Lea Michele vs. Beanie Feldstein (vs. 'Funny Girl')
The great Barbra Streisand once sang these words: “Who told you you’re allowed to rain on my parade?” The original Fanny Brice wasn’t referring to Lea Michele, but for Funny Girl star Beanie Feldstein, she may as well have been.
After receiving piss-poor reviews for her performance in the Streisand musical’s revival, Feldstein caught a lot of heat from Broadway fans. The common refrains: Feldstein’s understudy was better! She kept calling in sick! Lea Michele sang those Funny Girl songs way better on Glee!
Michele used those Glee memories to her advantage, entering the chat as the de facto replacement for Feldstein—not that the actress had made plans to go anywhere. But all the chatter led to a ticket sales slump, and by the end of the summer, Feldstein was out. Michele, naturally, was in.
Thanks to some iconically messy behind-the-scenes production meddling, it was impossible to look away from the recasting hysteria. Rumormongers, like moi, sat on the edge of our seats for even a kernel of news, as if Funny Girl were the Super Bowl.
I’m told Lea Michele is very good in the show, at least.
Jason Lee Announcing That the Queen Had Died (When She Hadn’t)
Hollywood Unlocked host Jason Lee is the last guy anyone would think to ask about the royal family’s health. Which is why it was so funny that he somehow broke the news that Queen Elizabeth II had passed—in February, that is, months before she actually did.
Despite the royal family quickly denying Lee’s report, he insisted that his information was right. He even cited his sources: a guest at the forthcoming wedding of Edward Enninful, editor of British Vogue, who supposedly overheard that the queen had left the building because she had pulled out of the wedding. It all came up roses for Lee in the end, in a morbid way: When she actually died, folks pointed out that Lee was the first one to the news. Just, ya know. Very, very, very early.
Try Guys Consuming Everyone’s Attention
Ned Fulmer is a name etched in many of our brains now, for the worst. Even if you weren’t one of the many millions of people who watched their videos, the Try Guys owned the entire news cycle for a stint in September thanks to Fulmer’s behavior. The former BuzzFeed employees had long made a killing with their wacky stunt-based videos, cultivating a huge fanbase and multiple spin-off shows. But when the Wife Guy Try Guy was caught stepping out on said wife with a coworker, the group’s nice, quirky image shattered.
After building an entire personality around being a husband, to the point where Fulmer’s wife was a beloved character in the Try Guy-niverse, cheating was not going to go over well with his fanbase. Fans were the ones who unearthed the affair in the first place, cross-referencing Reddit and Instagram posts with new videos, of which Fulmer had seemingly been edited out.
In the end, Fulmer left the group for hooking up with a subordinate. The remaining three Guys broke the news in an extremely, hilariously tense video. Eugene, the one non-white Try Guy who people generally find less annoying and even hot, looked especially pissed, and I don’t blame him. After that, we all blessedly returned to no longer caring about these YouTubers.
James Corden Is a Terrible Restaurant Guest, Confirmed
To me, James Corden is the most annoying late-night host on TV. That’s a low bar to clear, especially with Jimmy Fallon right there. But Corden has attracted plenty of haters for his obnoxious jokes, cringey sketches (Carpool Karaoke is annoying! Sorry!), and performance in movies like Cats.
No one hates him more than the staff at Balthazar, whose owner allegedly banned Corden for sending back food and being an “abusive” customer. Corden wanted an omelet that was all yolk, no whites; when there was a teeny piece of egg white in the omelet, he decided that the esteemed chefs at the iconic New York City restaurant deserved an earful.
The reported incident led to Balthazar banning Corden from their establishment—hilarious, but well-deserved. Eventually, Corden was forced to address it on his exceedingly boring talk show, from which he is blessedly exiting in 2023. His attempt at a make-good got him off Balthazar’s shitlist, but it only confirmed a long-held public belief: James Corden sucks ass.
Random 'Good Morning America' Anchors’ Affair, Exposed
I still don’t know when Good Morning America 3 airs, because I work a full-time job. But you better believe I’ve been following the scandal involving its two most popular anchors, Amy Robach and T.J. Holmes.
Pap photos caught them kissing, hugging, and touchin’ butts ahead of the Thanksgiving holidays—despite both of them being not only co-workers, but married. Although Robach and Holmes quickly confirmed that they had split from their respective spouses, the timeline remained fuzzy. Were they cheating? For how long? Was the queen’s Platinum Jubilee, when the two reportedly bonded, really so titillating as to launch the most strangely dangerous-feeling relationship of the year?
Further reports have come out suggesting that Holmes, in particular, has a habit of shacking up with coworkers behind his (now ex-)wife’s back. Which is deeply unattractive! ABC ended up putting both on indefinite hiatus while the network figured out what to do with this increasingly intriguing celeb drama. But there’s something compelling about watching close friends, whose affection for each other is well-documented, get together and seem legitimately happy. We’ll see how long this lasts, but I am rooting for them, despite my better judgment.
Adam Levine is a Terrible Sexter
In decidedly less fun suspected cheating news, Adam Levine allegedly cheated on his hot (and pregnant!) model wife. When the other woman, Sumner Stroh, aired all of his dirty laundry to the world, the Maroon 5 singer came out looking like a jerkoff—of the most awkward variety. In a series of weird DMs, Levine told Stroh he wanted to name his currently unborn child after her, if it’s a boy (??). Normal behavior!
The internet immediately seized on this and some of the other bizarre lines from their alleged text history: “I may need to see the booty. Fuckkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk.” “Holy fuck. Holy fucking fuck. That body of yours is absurd.” And my personal favorite, “Watching your ass jiggle on that table will permanently scar me but otherwise I’m amazing.”
I assume that the next Levine baby will not, in fact, be named Sumner.
Green M&M Gets Sneakers
The Green M&M reclaimed her virginity this year, trading in her legendary heels for a pair of white sneakers. Gone are the full lips and “come hither” eyebrow raise; now, she’s got a slightly bemused look on her green visage. It was always weird that a candy was supposed to be sexy in the first place, but it feels even weirder that she has now been intentionally de-sexified.
To strip the Green M&M of her sensuality, the internet agreed, was to deny us all the privilege to be horny for whatever we wanna be horny for. Even Tucker Carlson ranted on-air about how unattracted he was to the M&M, now that she wasn’t wearing go-go boots anymore. The outrage was unexpected, wonderful, and ultimately unsuccessful: Green is officially a sneaker-wearing, sexless woman for the foreseeable future.
Seth Green’s NFTs Get Stolen
Those disgusting NFT apes were everywhere this year, in large part thanks to the swaths of personality-less celebrities paying big money for them. For instance, we must never forget the time when Jimmy Fallon and Paris Hilton had a halting interview where they “bonded” over their shared love for the NFT “brand” Bored Ape Yacht Club. (I’m sure they didn’t financially benefit from the promo possibly increasing their NFTs’ worth or anything.) Our society suffered during that 10-minute period, and we will never recover.
The same appeared to be true for the actor Seth Green, who found his next project imperiled by someone “stealing” his NFTs. Considering it’s just a .jpeg, that concept is a farce. But someone hacked into his NFT collection and signed over their ownership rights to themselves, leaving Green to publicly plead with the thief to return them on Twitter. He was making a TV show starring all of his different NFT characters, and he wouldn’t be able to go ahead with it if he no longer had the rights. Big loss for the culture there—especially based on the show’s horrible leaked footage that surfaced online.
Eventually, Green got his NFTs back. But we would have all been better off if he didn’t, I think.
Noah Schnapp and Doja Cat Violate DM Etiquette
Doja Cat, like many of us, has always been extremely online. That’s why she should have known better than to slide into a teenage boy’s DMs, asking actor Noah Schnapp to hook her up with his (older) co-star. The Stranger Things kiddo didn’t end up connecting Doja with Joseph Quinn, who joined the cast this season and stole everyone’s hearts. Instead, Schnapp leaked her thirsty DMS to TikTok, mocking her for being a try-hard.
Doja, understandably, was pissed off. She didn’t consent to having her private conversation aired to millions of people, and Schnapp was wrong for doing so. Was she also wrong for messaging a teenager for help with her dating life, joke or no? Mmhmm. But Schnapp was being a shitty teen boy, and that is inexcusable.
The whole thing, however, was hiked up to incredibly dramatic levels for really no reason, which made it both fun and painful to watch. Schnapp went on to say that he and Doja had cleared the air, but I won’t believe it until they do some cringe-y TikTok together to promote Stranger Things 5 in 14 years, which is how long it will inevitably take for it to be released.
JoJo Siwa Puts Candace Cameron Bure in Her Place
Candace Cameron Bure sucks. JoJo Siwa is a queen. These are facts. So when JoJo Siwa revealed in a TikTok that Cameron Bure was the rudest celebrity she’d ever met, you better believe us Siwa-heads were out for blood. Despite Cameron Bure being the actual adult in this conversation, she did the immature thing and fought back.
The moment in question, Cameron Bure explained, happened when Siwa was 11 years old and asked the actress for a photo at the premiere of Fuller House. Cameron Bure said no; Siwa was crushed, as any 11-year-old would be. Even though the actress supposedly apologized, fans weren’t buying it. They later dug up more “evidence” from a 2019 Kelly Clarkson Show appearance the pair did, in which Cameron Bure seemed to sneak in a dig at Siwa’s instantly recognizable, over-the-top home decor.
It’s binch behavior, is what it is. And things reached their binch-iest when Cameron Bure decried Hallmark Channel for making movies about LGBTQ+ couples; the notorious Christian said that this ran counter to good family values. Siwa, who is openly gay, criticized the actress for her homophobic remarks and views. Like always, she was in the right—and nothing the actress can say will ever get her back on Siwa’s very powerful good side.
Dwyane Johnson Doing the Most to Convince Us Black Adam Was Successful
There’s too much DC Universe drama that happened this year to even get into. (Ezra Miller is also banned from this piece.) But the one I keep thinking about is Dwayne Johnson’s utter failure to skew the narrative about Black Adam.
The film, about a popular DC villain to the hero Shazam, was the Rock’s very expensive pet project. Instead of starring as the character in Shazam!, which would have made sense, the former wrestler demanded that Black Adam get his own movie. Since that movie starred no other recognizable heroes, it generated little buzz. It also got mediocre reviews and some mockery for its grimdark vibe.
That said, Black Adam did OK at the box office—in large part because of that Henry Cavill-as-Superman cameo at the end, methinks. It didn’t, however, make enough to be profitable, which is a conversation that movie nerds are constantly having in this day and age. (For proof, just peep the raucous r/boxoffice subreddit.) Variety reported that the film was set to lose millions of dollars for Warner Bros.—but the Rock didn’t want folks to think that Black Adam was anything but a smash. Instead of licking his wounds, he kept tweeting about how well the movie did. His weird humblebrags came right as a Deadline story refuting Variety’s appeared, which the Rock happily shared.
Schadenfreude hit hard when, not two weeks later, news broke that DC wasn’t working on any further Black Adam projects. The Rock’s claims of his terrible film breaking the bank turned out to be not just untrue, but heartbreakingly so—well, for him at least. Tweet less, my guy.
Melissa Joan Hart Doesn’t Hate Lena Dunham, but She Wants You to Think She Does
Gossip monster Deuxmoi shared anonymous tips on her Instagram account that suggested Melissa Joan Hart, the rigidly conservative former child actress, hated Lena Dunham. Apparently their dads had been friends back in the day, leading to their daughters convening on multiple occasions—including one in which Dunham and Hart got into an argument. (About Hart’s crappy politics? About Dunham’s inability to stop talking? Who knows!)
Not many people would have seen this absurd rumor, if not for Hart herself sharing it on her Instagram repeatedly. She referred to the blind items as spreading “hateful rhetoric”—something she knows a thing or two about. Even though it was neither particularly funny nor flattering, Hart decided to seize the moment and make everyone think that maybe, possibly, perhaps there is a chance she hates Lena Dunham, of all people. Anything to get your name in the news, I guess!
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