It was only a week ago that Real Housewives of New York Season 14 had its first major public reckoning, after Jenna Lyons’ wanton mistreatment by her fellow cast members. Twitter (or X, or whatever the hell it’s called right now—they need to settle on something for Bravo fans alone) has never been more lit up in the rebooted show’s first eight weeks than it was last Sunday, with fans speaking up to defend Lyons in droves. Who could’ve imagined that the season’s ninth episode would somehow take things up a notch, with just about everyone getting into someone else’s bloodthirsty crosshairs?
Episode 9 is a rollercoaster from start to finish, and not one Housewife escapes unscathed. It’s not that much actually happens, but rather that everyone is peeling back the artifice surrounding their personalities before twisting that mutual vulnerability into a reason to fight. It would be exhausting if it weren’t so damn exhilarating. This episode may be chock full of uncertainties, but you can’t say that one of them is this franchise’s cast. They’ve proven once and for all that they’ve got the grit that it takes to hack it as Housewives. There’s nothing left for the rest of us to do but sit back, watch, and put a pillow on the floor—we’ll need something soft to catch our jaws if they’re dropping this often.
The episode begins with all of the women gathering in the foyer of their massive Anguilla villa, ready to head out to dinner. Jenna’s anxiety is palpable; we may have had a week to process her getting picked apart by her castmates, but she’s had mere minutes. It was just an hour or so ago that Jenna was grilled for claiming that she wanted to arrive on the trip early to tan, which would alleviate some of the anxiety she feels about her varied skin tone, a result of her genetic disorder. Getting a first-class plane ticket, instead of flying coach with the rest of the women, was merely a happy bonus. (Again, look me in the eyes and tell me that you’d fly coach if you had Jenna Lyons’ money.) As a result of her nervousness, Jenna is overly complimentary of her social-etiquette prosecutors, but it does little to keep them off her back.
The group arrives at the Sunshine Shack—the first of several beachside locales in this episode that will forever be the subject of RHONY argument fame—and immediately gets personal. A misty-eyed Ubah tells everyone that Anguilla reminds her of her home in Africa, which she misses dearly. “This place might be heaven, [but] Africa’s paradise,” she says. Jessel then chimes in, trying to break the ice by complimenting Jenna’s dress, which only triggers the dinner’s first argument. “We’ll do a dress swap—not wife swap, dress swap,” Jessel says, dredging up the quarrel between Erin and Brynn from a few weeks back. Erin is still upset with Brynn for flirting with Erin’s husband at their anniversary party. Erin could teach a college course on holding a grudge, and Jessel is a degree-holding pot stirrer.
Brynn is beyond over it and immediately apologizes, just to diffuse the situation. “I want to genuinely apologize for saying that your party was boring,” she says. “I said it because I wanted to hurt you.” Erin looks baffled, thinking that she was about to get an apology for Brynn basically saying that she could be next in line if Erin’s husband Abe divorces her. The very sweet Sunshine Shack server must’ve heard Kylie Minogue’s new single, because he understands how to break the tension, arriving mid-spat to take everyone’s order. “We’re trying to finish this conversation,” Erin says. Meanwhile, Brynn is ordering lobster and giggling with their waiter, proving that what Jenna said a couple of weeks back is true: The girl flirts while ordering dinner!
Erin gets her point across, Brynn owns up to what she said, and they squash their beef—at least for a few hours. Besides, there’s an elephant stomping around the beach that needs to be addressed, and why not go from one disagreement right over to the next? Erin moves the magnifying glass over to Jenna, saying that it’s time for this argument to be dropped too. It’s not that simple, given that Jenna is about to make everyone feel like absolute buffoons.
“Who doesn’t prefer business over coach?” Brynn asks. “That’s not why I didn’t come with you, and you know it,” Jenna responds, looking like she’s had just about enough. “I don’t think anything you say while you are post-op [and on] anesthesia should be held against you. I don’t think that’s fair,” Jenna continues in her confessional, referencing her post-mouth surgery haze when she told Erin that she was going to fly separately. The rest of the women attempt to twist it into a point toward Jenna being guarded, which breaks Jenna down completely.
“Yeah, I am fucking guarded,” she says. “I’ve been fucked so many times and that has nothing to do with you guys, if that comes off as not wanting to participate, or be a friend, or try, that is not my intention at all.” Jenna is on the edge of tears, a perfect time for her to take a mouthful of freshly caught snapper that’s rife with bones. Erin runs to her while the poor woman is trying to sift through fish bones, her new teeth have barely set, and everyone else is staring at her. Let’s give the woman some space!
“This concept of opening up…it’s not easy for me,” Jenna continues. “I grew up in a very quiet house. My mom had really severe Asperger’s, which means there was no noise in our house, so we weren’t allowed to talk. … I had to go to my room and be quiet after school. My mom didn’t have any friends, so I didn’t grow up with that.” These moments of vulnerability from Jenna are revelatory, and everyone around the table looks absolutely mortified. But it’s ultimately for the better, as the group finally has some trust in their friend. It may have taken breaking her down completely to build her back up, but that’s what being a Housewife is all about.
That’s enough emotion for one dinner, but there’s plenty more in store for the next day. At breakfast the following morning, Sai confesses that part of her overbearing nature stems from her mother becoming a late-in-life alcoholic, whom Sai had to take care of. She’s happiest when she can smother everyone around her in love (as long as there is a platter of food around), and it’s nice to see Sai actually come alive instead of being stuck in her typical ravenously hungry, “I’m a content creator, babe!” mode.
But this episode goes back and forth between tender moments and wild contention, and it’s not long after Sai’s emotional revelation that it’s time for Brynn and Erin to dig up that hatchet they had just buried. Sai asks Brynn about her mysterious dating life, and Brynn starts talking about how complicated the process is if a woman wants to get her eggs frozen by a doctor:
“On the intake form, [they asked me to write down] who I’d like to do embryos with, because embryos are more viable.” While Brynn’s saying this, Ubah and Erin are exchanging glances from across the table. Ubah is getting smacked in the face with Erin’s eyeballs, which have bugged out of her head like she’s Daffy Duck. “No one says that,” Erin tells Ubah. “You go to freeze your eggs, they tell you to get an embryo and call someone on the phone? No. Ubah, that’s a weird lie.”
“I’m a girl’s girl, and I have so many girlfriends,” Erin says in her confessional, which is something that only someone who isn’t a girl’s girl says. It’s a classic Housewives tactic to defend your baseless accusations that someone is lying with the declaration that you know the truth, because you’re a girl’s girl. “I’ve just never heard of a location asking you to go through your contact list to hit up some guys to give you some jizz for an embryo.” Sure, maybe not, or maybe Erin and Brynn haven’t been to all of the same clinics? Perhaps if Erin was such a girl’s girl she’d be tagging along to these intake appointments, but maybe she was preoccupied with standing in line to vote for Trump that day—we just can’t be sure.
Erin flat-out tells Brynn that she thinks this embryo story is a lie, and Brynn gets a look that is both rage-filled and like she’s about to laugh so hard that she passes out. It’s the face of someone who is so over another person’s antics that they can’t help but be charmed by it, while still ticked off. “[That’s why I shared it], because it’s weird,” Brynn replies. “You say stuff like that and that’s actually really messed up, why the fuck would I lie about something like that?”
The meal is ruined, and everyone gets up to go home. Later that night, Brynn makes the noble move to meet up with Erin to entomb that pesky hatchet once more. But here’s the thing about an axe: It cuts deep, and Brynn has been struck more than once. She’s not about to let any of this really go. That’s alright, though, because it just means that there’s plenty more Anguilla drama for the rest of us, and I’ve already bulk-ordered more popcorn in anticipation.
