More and more, I am interested in what happens when we abandon social niceties completely. I don’t mean going wolf mode and acting feral in every situation—though I do find that to be a deranged call of the wild that I am increasingly drawn to. Rather, what will happen if I don’t actively make space for groups of three on the sidewalk, who don’t bother to condense their party so I, too, can enjoy the public concrete? What if I just plopped down in the person-sized space between the thighs of manspreaders on a crowded subway?
My moral compass doesn’t allow me to act on these fantasies where I silently admonish society’s bad actors, because I am from the Midwest, which makes me physically incapable of not defaulting to being the better person. But that’s all right, because I’ve been vicariously living out my disturbed dreams watching RuPaul’s Drag Race Season 16, where the queens are all too happy to keep a sourpuss on their lined lips whenever something doesn’t go their way.
Season 16 has been rife with these moments thanks to queens Q (just “Q,” like the 1982 monster movie, fitting for her mercurial personality) and Plane Jane, who make no efforts to conceal their fervent desire to win. In last week’s episode, both queens lost a team challenge that they felt they excelled at, and Q’s visible disgust after Judge RuPaul’s ruling was one of the most hysterical things I’ve seen on Drag Race in some time. As the years go by and the show’s jokes get recycled into memes and merch, every queen has tried to throw out a catchphrase-worthy line that will stick. It’s utterly refreshing, then, to see someone be so funny without trying. Q’s disgust is a throwback to when Drag Race was a little edgier, a lot nastier, and much more consistently fun.
Perhaps the most hilarious part of this entire situation is that Q had every right to be mad at not winning last week’s challenge. She and Plane Jane did adequately in their assignment, about as well as you could do when tasked with giving a vague, drag-related seminar presentation to an audience. But where Q really excelled was on the runway, where queens were asked to bring an ’80s-inspired look. Q’s garment was a deconstructed take on Keith Haring’s art style, which managed to not look hacky and cheap like all of the other brands who commodify Haring’s work. Q also fashioned a gorgeous red collar on her coat in the shape of the red AIDS ribbon. It was an on-the-nose choice, considering Q disclosed her HIV-positive status to the judges earlier this season, but one that was done with care and subtlety. She was, for my money, the best-dressed of the night.
Q
MTVAnd Q thought so too, which is why not winning stung even more. The moment that fellow contestant Sapphira Cristal’s name was called over hers, Q’s brimming smile collapsed, replaced with the kind of snarling expression a chihuahua will give you if you look into its eyes for too long. The producers kept cutting back to her. Each time, she had another, angrier version of this look plastered onto her face. It was television gold; as consummate of a queen as Q is, she made no effort to conceal her outrage. When the episode ended, Q wasn’t in the mood for the traditional little dance all the queens do as they exit the stage. Instead, she lackadaisically twirled her wrist and rolled her eyes before clomping off the stage.
Plane Jane is similarly stuck in her own fantasy, which has been working to her favor thus far. By the end of this week’s episode, Plane Jane has stacked up three challenge wins. That’s a fantastic track record for any queen, but not enough to let Plane drop her own delusion. When Q was telling the other queens about her HIV status before last week’s runway, Plane Jane very seriously looked her castmate in the face after an emotional revelation and said, “Mama, kudos for saying that, for spilling, like seriously.” The line became the meme of the moment, and was proof that Drag Race viewers not only value this kind of disconnected self-importance, but crave it.
But the big question was how Q would handle her rage in tonight’s episode, and if you could feel the white-hot fury through your television screen last week, you already know the answer: not well.
The queens re-enter the workroom, and my eyes were locked on Q. While everyone reads the ceremonious goodbye message left in lipstick on the workroom mirror from the eliminated queen, Q stares a hole in the glass, face turned down entirely. Morphine Love Dion, who was saved from elimination, screams with joy about staying in the race, and Q’s expression doesn’t change. Her face—which, granted, might have a little botox here and there—does not move a muscle, a smile cannot be cracked. The only thing Q does is shift her weight from one leg to the other, which any retail employee will tell you is the mark of a very impatient woman.
The remaining six queens then sit down to discuss their performances in the last episode, and Q’s look can only be described as stankfaced. “Q is looking like I stepped on her dog, threw him across the street, and then came over and fucked her husband,” Sapphira says, still glowing from her win. Plane Jane encourages Q to talk about the grave injustice she suffered out loud and not keep the poison boiling inside, but Q refuses. “No, I’m good actually, yeah, yeah,” she says with a throaty vocal fry. When Sapphira tells Q that she loves her, Q responds with nothing more than a disconsolate, “Yeah.”
After getting a full night’s sleep in the cast’s block of hotel rooms, Q arrives the next day slightly less angered but no less resolute that she deserved to win. These results just do not jive with Q’s fantasy, and it’s absolutely hysterical to witness play out in real time. The closest that we’ve had to something like this is in the legendary Drag Race All Stars Season 2, when Alaska Thunderfuck had a pre-runway panic attack and started begging her castmates to save her from elimination if the ax hovered over her head. Drag Race producers need to cast more queens like this, who lead with their egos and keep their immense talent trailing just behind. Enough goody two-shoes behavior; this is drag, we need some sore losers!
Plane Jane
MTVIt’s fascinating to watch, not because these queens don’t care about their fellow cast members, or because they’re bad people, but their heads are so firmly planted in the sky that they’re unwilling to come down for anybody. They’re like birds, soaring amongst the clouds, only to be sucked into a jet engine and spat out bloodied and battered while the rest of the flock keeps flying.
In the past decade or so, Drag Race has positioned itself as an important show, one that doesn’t just change lives, but saves them too. That’s not untrue, but this show is also a beacon for narcissists. You’ve got to be at least a little egotistical to be an artist, and it’s so nice to see Q and Plane Jane refusing to pretend that’s not the case. They are leading the pack for people like me, who have yet to lose their last shred of dignity and body check someone taking up all of the space on the sidewalk. Until that day, I’ll keep watching these two self-absorbed stars live the life I dream of.
