Not since the great Roxxxy Andrews wig reveal of 1822 has a RuPaul’s Drag Race lip sync seen a move so unexpected, so explosive, and so brilliantly executed, that it decided the outcome of the entire performance before it was over. Sure, there have been undeniably incredible, surprise stunts pulled on the main stage, but it’s hard to recall them years later. Typically, we’re treated to a death drop here, or a taint-ripping split there. But rarely does a lip sync have one shining achievement—complete with a stunning selection of moves surrounding it—to shore up RuPaul’s discerning ruling.
Ten seasons after Roxxxy’s monumental toupee transfer, on Friday night’s new episode, we got Anetra’s running jump-and-dive into a somersault. We’ll always remember where we were.
Anyone within a 10-mile radius of a gay person with a live television package in their Hulu subscription could hear a cacophony of glass breaking, courtesy of drinkware being thrown in screaming passion. This one move alone has invigorated me enough to sustain me through the rest of 2023. Well, through May 2023, at least.
The moment wasn’t just a win for everyone watching, it was a win for Anetra, too. This episode was a full set of peaks and valleys in only 90 minutes. (Yes, the 90-minute episodes are officially back, leaving one of the worst programming choices in television history in the rearview mirror.) Anetra started strong, only to take a rocky stumble on a figurative broken heel during the maxi challenge. But what was truly remarkable was her perseverance throughout, making this episode her strongest yet—and turned her into a shoo-in for this season’s Top 4.
Even at the very top of the episode, it already felt like there was more room to breathe. The Real Friends of WeHo are gone, and both the queens and the viewers were able to spread out, lay around, and take a load off! The hurried pace of this season’s editing over the last six weeks never felt so evident until now.
We never would’ve gotten to see Luxx Noir London and Loosey LaDuca argue over whether Beyoncé’s baby bump—which Lucy did not have in last week’s Night of 1,000 runway—was showing at the 2011 VMAs. In this case, Luxx is right and Loosey is confoundingly wrong. The baby bump was the entire moment! Still, that chatter would be on the cutting room floor if the runtime was abbreviated, and it was necessary for this episode to function as well as it did.
Things kicked off with a mini challenge (which, again, we had time for). If any Drag Race producers happen to be reading a humble entertainment critic right now, this is my plea: Make the vogueing mini challenge an every-season event. Queens should know to come into this competition expecting to vogue as much as they expect to read their fellow racers.
I can’t remember the last time I was cackling and cutting up this early into an episode of Drag Race. This was an opportunity for the queens to give us gags straight out of any Ball. Sasha Colby’s classic vogue work and Mistress Isabelle Brooks’ shady pantomiming, beating Marcia’s makeupless mug? Priceless. But leave it to the owner of several ducks—who always seem to need walking—Anetra, to give humor and form all at once to win the mini challenge.
And if you might’ve been thirsty from all the breathless screaming you were doing just 10 minutes into the episode, the Bubly Comedy Festival is here to quench your thirst for more. Bubly: No calories, no sweeteners, all smiles. Well, except that what we ultimately are subjected to has fewer smiles and more involuntary wincing. The queens are all paired based on the matching cans of Bubly sparkling water that they pluck out of a cooler. As a La Croix loyalist but an intrepid reporter, it was tough to decide whether or not to fast-forward in disgust. But nevertheless, she persisted.
The pairs are formed, and could ultimately be incredibly strong or totally mortifying. Luxx is with Loosey, their fight from that morning adding to their comedic dynamic; Anetra with Sasha; Mistress with Salina EsTitties; and Marcia Marcia Marcia flying solo. Immediately, Anetra looks as if she’d been hit by the bus that drove right past Roxxxy Andrews. (Don’t worry, I will be struck by lightning soon).
Poor Anetra is as pale as Michelle Visage on Opposite Day, and she can barely speak due to a wicked ocular migraine that almost threatens to take her out of the competition. “How my head feels right now is how that old lady felt when Laganja was, like, ‘It’s kind of like your vajoina!” At least we know that she’s in good spirits.
The stand-up challenges on Drag Race always have a giant question mark plastered over them. Typically, one queen is going to perform exceedingly well, and one queen will flop so hard that we can see them starting to practice the lip sync lyrics in their head before they’ve even finished their set. At the Bubly Product Placement Festival, there are no shining stars. All of the queens are middling to just plain bad. If it were up to me, Salina and Mistress would’ve landed in the bottom for their ridiculous, extended storytelling punchlines. But I am merely a humble, hilarious writer, what do I know? Thankfully, the judges’ deliberations have also returned from the WeHo War, meaning we at least got an idea of how their decisions were made.
Despite doing a pretty fine job in both of their sets, Anetra and Marcia landed themselves in the bottom. Why we need Salina EsTitties—whose name, I just realized in this episode, is horrific pun on “Salina STDs”(!)—to stick around another week is far beyond me. Subjecting Anetra to lip sync in the midst of a multi-day, ocular migraine is inhumane, but so is making these queens stand in heels on the main stage for eight hours. Entertainment is pain, I guess.
At the same time, watching what Anetra pulled off while she was working through Khloé Kardashian’s worst nightmare was part of what made it so damn astonishing. Doja Cat’s “Boss Bitch” could not have been a better song for Anetra, or a lip sync in general—especially after a couple weeks of misses when it came to song licensing. Anetra was on from the jump, walking to the back of the runway to prepare herself. You know there’s an assassination attempt in progress when you can hear another queen yelling, “C’mon bitch!” from the rafters; the same thing happened with John Wilkes Booth and Ol’ Honest Abe.
What makes a Lip Sync for Your Life go from great to unforgettable is when both participants are working with one another, altering their moves in real time to play with their opponent. It’s like a very gay game of chess; the Queens’ Gambit, if you will. That’s exactly what Anetra and Marcia Marcia Marcia did.
When Marcia saw Anetra take the song’s lyrics literally, doing her duck walk to Doja saying “I’m clumsy, made friends with the floor,” she saw an opening. The lyric, “Backbend ‘til I touch my toes,” had Marcia reaching back all the way for an arch. In turn, her chess move gave Anetra the perfect opportunity for a checkmate: that impossibly genius running-dive over her adversary.
As if things weren’t already decided right then and there, Anetra continued to turn it out. Sure she lost her vision for a moment when she jumped backwards onto her ass. But if her migraine was affected, the judges were none the wiser. Upon several examinations, Marcia really did put up a decent fight, but she was no match for someone with titanium joints and a muscular system made of military-grade rubber.
Yes, that’s the end of Marcia Marcia Marcia, who lasted far longer than anyone was ready to give her credit for two months ago. Marcia proved herself not just a solid queen, but a damn fine contender. I, for one, will dearly miss—and miss looking at—Antoni Porowski Jr. But this is the name of the game. Queens have to go, and with no wins under her belt, it was Marcia’s time. She put up enough of a fight to turn Anetra into a bloodthirsty rival. And if we don’t see Anetra in that Top 4 in three weeks after what she showed tonight, I’ll be claiming riggormorris forever.
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