Every so often, a film comes along that is so ingenious, so daring, so completely out-of-this-world bonkers that you have no choice but to be pulled in by its incomprehensibly powerful gravity. Watching it, your body goes slack, and your mind ascends to a higher plane of consciousness that you didn’t even know existed on this earthly sphere. These are the kinds of films that make you believe in both a Heaven and a Hell, for surely something this good can’t exist without an equal evil existing to balance it all out.
This was how I felt watching Julia Stiles sprinting through lines on a telephone call with no one on the other end in Orphan: First Kill.
Before last Saturday, I was, shamefully, a total newbie to the Orphan cinematic universe. But then Orphan: First Kill, the new prequel to the 2009 cult-classic horror film, landed in theaters and Paramount+ Friday. I knew that it was finally time to delve into what Esther (Isabelle Fuhrman) had in store for me.
For the uninitiated, Esther is the name of the titular orphan, and boy, is there something wrong with her! If you’ve been living under a rock for the last 13 years, good for you, because you’ve missed a lot of very bad things—but that’s also the only way you may not have heard the brilliant twist of the first Orphan film. It rocked a generation of millennials so profusely that it’s still being talked about and revered today. But I’ll give you a warning anyway: Total spoilers for Orphan and Orphan: First Kill lie ahead.
In the final 20 minutes of Orphan, the audience is treated to a twist that reframes the events of the entire film. Esther, who was adopted by Kate (Vera Farmiga) and John (Peter Sarsgaard) and began slowly terrorizing their family with a series of wicked deeds, is not actually a 9-year-old Russian orphan. She’s actually a 33-year-old woman named Leena with a rare hormonal disorder that causes proportional dwarfism. Leena’s disorder stunted her growth, making her look young forever. She’s used this to her advantage, to con and kill people the world over.
It’s a twist that keeps M. Night Shyamalan up at night, tossing and turning in bed, wishing he had come up with something so instantly iconic.
But the best thing about Orphan is not that it has one of the best horror twists ever implemented, but that it’s also a genuinely great film. It’s well-written, perfectly paced, surprisingly stylish, and features a pair of dazzling performances from Vera Farmiga and Isabelle Fuhrman. Furhman, who was just 10 years old when shooting the film, gives one of the best horror performances I’ve ever seen—from an actor of any age!
Even when you already know the twist, as I have for the past 13 years, you can’t help but sit completely gagged on your couch, with your jaw on the floor watching the chaos unfold. It all ends with a terribly fun climax, culminating in Vera Farmiga kicking the absolute daylights out of this 33-year-old, murderous grifter and sending her to her death at the bottom of a frozen lake. Brava. Oscars all around, as far as I’m concerned. The Hurt Locker won Best Picture that year, and it’s tough to look back and know that we handed the award to war propaganda and not the orphan that stole America’s hearts.
With a first film that was so beloved and still remains a part of the cultural conversation, a prequel had the weight of the world’s expectations riding upon it. But the biggest question was: How the hell are they going to do this? Fuhrman is in her mid-20s now, how could she return to playing a 9-year-old posing as a 33-year-old? The answer: movie magic, baby!
Isabelle Fuhrman emphasized that the film uses practical effects to transform her back into Esther, as opposed to CGI. That means First Kill is riddled with apple boxes, actors wearing platform shoes hiding just out of frame, child body doubles used when Esther has her back to the camera, and a little moving chair Fuhrman called the Esther-mobile that made it look like she was walking alongside the other actors when she was actually seated.
All of that was already grounds to make the film fun, an exercise in spotting when actors are too tall for a door frame because of their shoes or when a body double was subbed in. But it’s another outstandingly wild twist that turns Orphan: First Kill into an instant camp classic and solidifies the franchise as one of the best in horror history.
In First Kill, Leena has escaped the institution where she was being detained and sets out on a murderous rampage across Estonia and Russia. Looking for a way to get to the United States, she scours missing person databases for a child who looks enough like her to pass herself off. Leena lands on Esther Albright, a young girl that’s been missing for four years, and arranges for Esther’s mother Tricia (Julia Stiles) to come to the Russian embassy to retrieve her.
Back in Connecticut, where the Albrights live in a sprawling mansion, Leena tries to assimilate into the family, and make them believe that she really is Esther, rescued after being kidnapped and taken to Europe. But the lead detective on Esther’s missing person case is suspicious. Naturally, Leena knows she has to cover her tracks—and murder the detective.
It’s here where Orphan: First Kill could cap off its practical de-aging novelty and become a boring, unnecessary retread of the original film. Instead, the whole thing goes cuckoo fucking bananas.
After stabbing the detective, Leena asks him how he knew she wasn’t Esther, when even Esther’s own mother doesn’t know. “Yeah, kid, she does,” he replies. Suddenly, Tricia appears and empties the chamber of a gun into the detective, finishing him off. It’s a certified jaw-dropper, but things are only beginning to gleefully careen off the rails.
Seated with Tricia, Leena confesses her con and demands to know what’s going on. The real Esther, Tricia tells her, is dead, killed by their son Gunnar (Matthew Finlan) in a “sibling accident.” Tricia and Gunnar covered up the murder by saying Esther went missing, leaving her husband Allen (Rossif Sutherland) completely in the dark. So, when “Esther” returned, Tricia knew from the moment she laid eyes on her that Leena couldn’t be her dead daughter, and has been waiting for the chance to put the pieces together about who this imposter is. But now that Allen thinks his long-lost daughter is alive and well, Tricia can’t just get rid of Leena so easily.
What follows are simply chef’s kiss-levels of vicious horror delights. To spoil more than I already have would be unconscionable, when you could run to your local AMC to see this play out before you on the biggest screen possible. Much like with the first film, knowing the twist ahead of time might seem like it could spoil some of the fun, but Orphan: First Kill has so much in store that it’s simply impossible not to love.
Perhaps the best thing about the film is that it contains the kind of campiness that we get so rarely in horror films these days. Almost every attempt at camp is too self-aware of its own silliness, leaning in to elbow us in the ribs. “Isn’t this ludicrous and nutty?” they ask, with a visible wink. No, it isn’t. Audiences can tell when they’re being tricked. Orphan: First Kill is so damn effective because, like Orphan, it still wants to be a great horror movie on top of its ridiculous, twisty premise.
Sure, pointing out all of the (very well-done but still noticeable) practical effects may be part of the fun, but First Kill has no intention of making those tricks its only gags. Stiles and Fuhrman are having the absolute time of their lives opposite one another; it's as much another showcase for Fuhrman’s incredible talents as it is a welcome and wicked return for Stiles. Seeing these two go at each other in a knock-down, drag-out, MMA-qualifying fight? Instant induction into Coleman’s Campsterpiece Criterion Collection.
I am baffled by how anyone could not stand up and scream out of their window as soon as the credits roll on these films. This is what cinema is all about! The Orphan movies make me feel utterly alive, which is all I can really ask for these days. And for that reason alone, I would take 20 more of these movies.
Bring Esther/Leena back from the depths of the frozen pond. Give her a just-as-evil twin with the same hormone disorder. Resurrect her with some long-lost Estonian magic. I don’t care! I’ll be seated for Orphan 22: Esther’s Boogaloo on opening night no matter what.
