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Prince William: “Why am I feeling like this? Why do I feel so sad?”
Prince William has previously referred in passing to the emotional toll that attending a tragic accident involving young child took on him.
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However, in a new Apple Fitness+ podcast, entitled Time to Walk and recorded as a soliloquy during a stroll, William has gone into extraordinary detail about the incident. William, 39, said the experience made him feel “like the whole world was dying,” adding, “It even makes me quite emotional now.”
Although the podcast is not being formally released until tomorrow, it appears most of the U.K. papers have been given advance access.
The Sun on Sunday and the Mail on Sunday lead on the emotional effects on William of attending the accident, a car crash involving a young child, identified by the Mail on Sunday as Bobby Hughes, who was 5 at the time of the incident.
William said: “I still remember the crew who were on, great mates of mine. We had a paramedic and a doctor on and another pilot flying with me. And the call we get is very brief, not very detailed. So we were kind of expecting a minor injury case. Immediately it became clear this young person was in serious difficulty, sadly been hit by a car. And of course there’s some things in life you don’t really want to see. And all we cared about at the time was fixing this boy.
“And the parents are very hysterical... screaming, wailing, not knowing what to do, you know, and in, in real agony themselves. And that lives with you. But our team got to work, and they stabilized the boy, and then it was a case of getting him out of there and into hospital. It all happened very fast. And we had the patient there in under an hour. It gives the patient the best chance of survival.”
William added that afterwards, “I felt something had changed. I felt a sort of, a real tension inside of me. And then, the next day, going back in again to work, you know, different crew. On to the next job. And that’s the thing, you’re not always all together. So then you can’t spend a day processing it.
“And so, you sort of have a reluctance to talk about it because you don’t want to hold each other up. You, you don’t want to, you know, burden other people. You also don’t want to think, ‘Oh, is it just me? Am I the only one who’s really affected by that?’
“It really hit me weeks later. It was like someone had put a key in a lock and opened it without me giving permission to do that. I felt like the whole world was dying. It’s an extraordinary feeling. You just feel everyone’s in pain, everyone’s suffering. And that’s not me. I’ve never felt that before.
“My personal life and everything was absolutely fine. I was happy at home and work, but I kept looking at myself, going, ‘Why am I feeling like this? Why do I feel so sad?’ And I started to realize that, actually, you’re taking home people’s trauma, people’s sadness, and it’s affecting you. Until you’ve been through it, it’s hard to understand.”
William said he subsequently met the family of the boy (who survived the accident), and that talking about the trauma helped.
He added: “I was lucky enough that I had someone to talk to at work in the Air Ambulance because mental health where I was working was very important. Talking about those jobs definitely helped, sharing them with the team, and ultimately, in one case, meeting the family and the patient involved who made a recovery, albeit not a full recovery, but made a recovery. That definitely helped.”
Kensington Palace told the Sunday Telegraph that William decided to do the podcast because of “the significant impact that walking has on mental health” and in recognition of the fact that “the Christmas period can be challenging for many.”
The Sunday Telegraph said Apple is donating “a five-figure sum to each of three charities—Shout in the UK, Crisis Text Line in the USA and Lifeline in Australia.”
Princess Diana was simply the best
In another feature of the podcast, William was invited to pick three songs he liked and say why.
One song chosen was Tina Turner’s “The Best,” and he said he and Prince Harry used to sing along to it in the car with their mother, Princess Diana, when returning to boarding school.
“Sitting in the backseat, singing away, it felt like a real family moment,” he said. “My mother, she’d be driving along, singing at the top of her voice. And we’d even get the policeman in the car, he’d be occasionally singing along, as well.” You’d be singing and listening to the music right the way out into the gates of school, when they dropped you off.
“And, and that’s when reality kind of sunk in that you really were going back to school because before that, you’re lost in songs. You’ll want to play it again just to keep that family moment going. And when I listen to it now, it takes me back to those car rides and brings back lots of memories of my mother.”
Ken Wharfe, Diana’s former bodyguard, told the Mail on Sunday he thought he was the “policeman” who William was referring to.
The Sunday Telegraph also chose to highlight another of William’s musical selections: “Thunderstruck” by AC/DC.
“There’s nothing better, when you’re a bit bleary-eyed after the weekend and trying to get yourself back into the grind of the week, than listening to Thunderstruck,” he said of the 1990 hit. “It absolutely wakes you up, puts your week in the best mood possible, and you feel like you can take on anything and anyone… It’s a difficult song not to dance to or to nod along to.”
Keeping a straight face
In another section of the podcast William said he sometimes gets the giggles in church.
The subject came up because his walking route took him past the small church the royals usually gather in on Christmas Day.
William said: “We’re right outside St. Mary Magdalene Church. The flag’s up and I’m right beside the door we normally go in as a family. And what’s very good about it is that we sit opposite each other as a family and, growing up, having my cousins sat opposite me has always been quite difficult to keep a straight face at times.
“I have had the giggles many, many times in the service. Luckily, no one’s filming it. So you can get away with it, and on Christmas Day it’s fun to have a giggle and enjoy yourself.”
William mentioned his late grandfather Prince Philip, saying: “I have strong memories of walking down here, and my grandfather, he used to walk so fast that there’d be huge gaps and spaces between all of us, and there’d be us at the back with little legs trying to keep up.”
Also on a musical theme, William also spoke about his children fighting over what music to play at home: “Most mornings there’s a massive fight between Charlotte and George as to what song is played. And I have to, now, basically prioritize that one day someone does this one, and another day it’s someone else’s turn.
“So, George gets his go, then Charlotte gets her go. Such is the clamor for the music. One of the songs that the children are loving at the moment is Shakira, ‘Waka Waka.’ There’s a lot of hip movements... There’s a lot of dressing up. Charlotte, particularly, is running around the kitchen in her dresses and ballet stuff and everything.
“She goes completely crazy, with Louis following her around trying to do the same thing. It’s a really happy moment where the children just enjoy dancing, messing around, and singing.”
Prince Harry joins Charles in donor scandal
The Sunday Times reports that Prince Charles’ office has indicated he is “of course” willing to co-operate with a police inquiry into the cash for honors scandal, which saw Saudi billionaire Mahfouz Marei Mubarak bin Mahfouz given a CBE, after he donated £1.5 million ($2 million) to Charles’ foundations.
It also emerged that Prince Harry’s charity, Sentebale, also received more than £50,000 from the businessman.
Harry’s aides “agreed to throw a banquet in Mahfouz’s honor on royal property,” the Sunday Times said. The Sunday Times alleged that Harry, on meeting Mahfouz at one of his father’s palaces joked: “Has father beaten me to it and got the money?”
After the paper published its story, it received a comment from Harry’s office, which said he “severed ties with Mr Mahfouz and his associates in 2015, no longer accepting further donations to Sentebale and discontinuing any plans for a fundraising event amid growing concerns over the motives for his support.”
Prince Charles, Prince of Wales and Prince Harry, Duke of Sussex attend the "Our Planet" global premiere at Natural History Museum on April 04, 2019 in London, England.
Samir Hussein/Samir Hussein/WireImageThe Sunday Times said that “Mahfouz’s relationship with Harry appeared to have helped pave the way for his introduction to Charles,” and that Mahfouz received photos of himself with Harry, “which he publicized while seeking social status and citizenship.”Harry and Mahfouz first met in a London pub owned by former courtier Mark “Marko” Dyer, who was close to Harry, the paper said. In February 2013 he sent £50,000 to Sentebale. Mahfouz also gave £10,000 to Walking with the Wounded. Harry was patron of the charity.
Charles’ move to cooperate with the authorities comes after an internal investigation found evidence of “communication and co-ordination” between key Charles aide Michael Fawcett, who has since resigned, and Mahfouz’s advisers about his CBE. London’s Metropolitan Police said that officers had “liaised with the Prince’s Foundation regarding the findings of its independent investigation”.
A Clarence House spokesman told the Sunday Times the prince would “of course” assist detectives if asked to do so.
Prince Andrew flew on Epstein jet multiple times
Prince Andrew flew on Jeffrey Epstein’s jet, the so-called “Lolita Express,” at least four times—“and possibly many more,” the Mail on Sunday reports. The flights included trips to and from Epstein’s private island Little St James, which Andrew has admitted to visiting, while emphatically denying the accusations of sexual assault made by Virginia Roberts Giuffre.
The Mail on Sunday said Andrew’s first flight on Epstein’s jet was on February 9, 1999. Epstein, Ghislaine Maxwell, and one of the Duke's personal protection officers, were also on board. The paper also details other flights Andrew took, and says that, because of the “confusing” way flight details were recorded, Andrew may have flown on many other flights. Currently on trial in New York City, Maxwell faces charges around child abuse and child sex trafficking.
One of Epstein’s victims, known as Jane, says she flew with Andrew on one occasion—which, the Mail reports, David Rodgers, one of Epstein’s pilots, also confirmed. Prince Andrew was sometimes referred to as “AP” in flight logs, as were other people. There are, the Mail reports, 13 occasions when “AP” was recorded as flying on an Epstein jet when Andrew’s whereabouts are unrecorded on the Court Circular which details royals’ presence at official events.
A source described as “closely connected with the case” told the Mail on Sunday: “This isn't a good look for Prince Andrew. Now you have a victim saying she flew with him while she was being abused by Epstein. And you have a pilot backing up her claims.”
Prince Harry felt “erased” by the queen
In 2019, the queen famously did not include a picture of Harry and Meghan and Archie in the background to her Christmas Day message. Us Weekly reports that Harry felt “erased” by being excluded.
This is what one friend of Harry’s told Christopher Andersen, the author of the headline-making Brothers and Wives: Inside the Private Lives of William, Kate, Harry, and Meghan—already in the news as Andersen revealed it had been Prince Charles who was the so-called “royal racist,” alluded to by Harry and Meghan in their Oprah Winfrey interview as having questioned the complexion of their then-unborn child.
“I think this is a turning point,” Andersen said of the absent picture of Harry and family. “There are all sorts of subtle messages that are conveyed in this, kind of soap opera that goes on. In 2018, she sat there in front of a Christmas tree. She gave her Christmas address and there were the family photos… Including Archie and Megan and Harry, very prominently displayed.”
“The queen hasn’t decided what to do about it [amid the talks of Harry leaving]. There’s a point at which—just before she gives a speech to the director on set—[she is] asked her which photographs she wants in the shot next to her,” Andersen told Us Weekly, claiming that the queen said, “We won’t be needing that one,” indicating a picture of the Sussexes.
Andersen told Us Weekly, “So there you had, in photographs right next to the queen, the people that clearly were most important to her. The Cambridges, all of them. Her [father], King George VI, and Prince Philip.” Charles and Camilla were also featured.
“I think that was a hurtful [for Harry to see],” Andersen told Us Weekly. “A friend of Harry’s told me that he felt that he was being erased in a sense from the family. And it was right after that, that they made their [decision to leave the U.K.]. I think that was one of the things that prompted them to issue the statement that they were stepping back from royal [life for a] full-time real life.”
“It seems very subtle, but when you think about it, when somebody cuts you out of the family album, so to speak, it’s a pretty strong message,” Andersen said.
This week in royal history
The separation of Prince Charles and Princess Diana was announced on December 9, 1992—after a stream of news reports about their deteriorating marriage and the publication of Andrew Morton’s blockbuster tell-all, Diana: Her True Story.
Unanswered questions
How and when will Prince Charles co-operate with the authorities? How will Ghislaine Maxwell’s trial affect Prince Andrew’s own legal nightmare?
