Trumpland

The Mar-a-Lago New Year’s Eve Party Was a Twisted, Teenage Mutant Ninja Nightmare

THE NINJA RAP

Donald Trump's annual bash was only slightly more star-studded than last year's mess, with Vanilla Ice returning to perform alongside a beloved masked turtle.

A photo from the Mar-a-Lago party
Screenshot via Ron Filipkowski/Twitter/X

If Donald Trump’s Mar-a-Lago New Year’s Eve party is any indication, the New York City sewers have a tunnel that leads all the way down the coast to Palm Beach.

The former president’s lavish parties have taken a hit in the years since his disgraced exit from office, and it seems as though Trump and his exclusive private membership club aren’t looking to change that soon. If anything, things have only taken a severe left turn for the bizarre.

For this year’s New Year’s Eve festivities, the venue booked noted one-hit-wonder Vanilla Ice as its headliner. Trump could be seen in audience videos during the party, bobbing his head along to the pop-rapper’s biggest song, “Ice Ice Baby.” Never one to comply with anyone else’s requests, Trump did not raise his arms when Vanilla Ice told the audience, “Get your hands in the air, it’s a new year!”

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This was not the first time that Vanilla Ice, whose real name is Rob Van Winkle, performed at Mar-a-Lago. The ’90s star—who lives in south Florida—made an appearance at the club’s New Year’s Eve party in 2021, where he was criticized for aligning himself with the former president. “It’s not about politics at all,” Van Winkle said in a statement following the party. Given that song residuals don’t last forever, that hardly comes as a surprise.

A photo from the Mar-a-Lago party
Screenshot via Ron Filipkowski/Twitter/X

But Van Winkle’s slot at this year’s party included a special guest, his good friend Michaelangelo the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle. (Or, more likely, Times Square’s best turtle-suited impressionist, flown down first-class.) Van Winkle and Michaelangelo performed “Ninja Rap,” the Vanilla Ice song from 1991’s Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: Secret of the Ooze.

The crowd seemed enthusiastic, though none of the onlookers caught in social media videos could be seen rapping along with Van Winkle and Michaelangelo. Perhaps they were waiting for Raphael, Donatello, and Leonardo to make an appearance, a hope the audience would have to dash once the ball dropped and no more genetically mutated amphibians arrived. But hey, there’s always New Year’s Eve 2024. Maybe Kid Rock will serenade partygoers into a new year with the help of a few X-Men.

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