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‘Reframing’ Prince Andrew
Prince Andrew, he of the less-than masterful judgment and not-so astute reading of the public mood, has a splendid new idea: his big comeback!
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According to reports in The Sunday Times, the disgraced prince who argued in his disastrous television interview that he couldn’t have been having sex with alleged Jeffrey Epstein sex trafficking victim Virginia Giuffre because he was eating pizza, intends to return to public duties and “serve his country” again, and thinks he has the queen’s backing.
The Royalist humbly suggests that even in the unlikely event that the 94-year old monarch has not brutally and explicitly shut down her son’s fantasy, the real power at Buckingham Palace these days, Prince Charles, would allow the return of Prince Andrew in only one circumstance—over his dead body.
Yet The Sunday Times reports that friends of Andrew, 60, are briefing that he is determined to “support the monarchy” and resume a “public role,” via some tactical “reframing” and say that he has the support of the palace in that quest (the palace denied any such thing, just FYI.)
The unnamed friend told The Sunday Times: “The duke is spending time working out how he can serve his country and support the monarchy in the future, and what else he might want to do with his life. He’s locked down at Royal Lodge [his home on the queen’s Windsor estate], thinking about his future service and public role. He has some clear thoughts.
“He’s very sensitive to the public mood and acutely conscious that the public are the most important stakeholder. He feels he has support from the family, very much so, including all his siblings and his parents.”
Right.
Given that in July, Andrew wasn’t even included in his own daughter Princess Beatrice’s official wedding photographs and that this month, it was reported that the Balmoral gift shop has stopped selling postcards bearing his image, one can almost hear the hollow laughter ringing down the halls of Buckingham Palace at that last claim.
“The toxicity of his reputation is that he is indelibly associated with Epstein, and he cannot shed that reputation,” a palace source, crashing back to earth, told The Sunday Times. “The queen has a soft spot for Andrew, but the Prince of Wales and Prince William will have a bigger say and I can’t see the royal family allowing him a return to any kind of public role.
“No charity, brand or business would touch him and the military want him out. What public role can there be? He must come to terms with being a private member of the royal family, though that will crush him. His best bet would be to go and manage one of the royal estates, while quietly doing some volunteering.”
Sail away
Were Prince Andrew in any doubt of his popularity, here is a reminder: having already severed links with nearly 200 charities and organizations, they continue to fall away: the Daily Mail reports that London’s Royal Thames Yacht Club is discussing whether to strip him of his role as commodore— and replace him with Kate Middleton.
Ouch.
William objected to Archie birth announcement
Prince William “did not think too highly of Prince Harry and Meghan Markle’s ‘prima donna’ maneuvers to conceal the birth of their son,” Robert Lacey claims in his new book, Battle of Brothers: William and Harry—The Inside Story of a Family in Tumult.
As reported by US Weekly, Meghan gave birth to Archie at 5.26am on May 6, 2019, Lacey writes, but the Palace released a statement eight hours later saying Meghan had just gone into labor.
The shenanigans pissed William off so much he and Kate waited eight days to meet Archie, Lacey writes.
“By contrast, the Queen, Prince Philip, Charles, and Camilla all turned up within hours to coo over the baby—and it seemed strange that, when the Cambridges did finally pitch up more than a week later, they didn’t bring along George, Charlotte, and Louis to welcome their new cousin,” Lacey writes.
With friends like these
Meghan Markle’s best friend Jessica Mulroney, shamed when she was accused of bullying a Black social media influencer, has shared a cryptic post on social media, writing: “Thank you to our true friends for sticking by us. We could never have made it without you. Silver lining: we finally know the a**holes (sic) who we thought were our friends. Best gift we could have ever been given.”
It seems really, really odd that a media-literate woman such as Mulroney would post such a message knowing that hundreds of thousands of people would instantly assume she was talking about Meghan. We are sure she isn’t because although Meghan was rumored to have ditched Jessica after the row in June, and has declined to support her publicly, Mulroney posted a statement on her Instagram Story earlier this year in which she wrote: “I’m going to tell this once and for all. Meghan and I are family.”
Scrubs up nicely
Deep cleaning has never been more important than it is now, hence, perhaps, Her Majesty’s hunt for a new cleaner. The royal jobs website says the new cleaner will be based at Windsor Castle. The successful applicant will live at the palace and deliver an “extraordinary service in incredible surroundings,” on a salary of £19,140 ($24,937).
Don’t blame Harry for being cautious
Prince Harry has been accused of turning his back on the Royal Marines, and criticized for his living choices by one of Britain’s most celebrated military commanders.
Major General Julian Thompson, who led 3 Commando Brigade during the 1982 Falklands War, told the Daily Mail: “I’m not trying to give him a lecture, but he has to take the job seriously and not just say, ‘Well, I’m still the Captain General and I’m going to live in Los Angeles and never visit the UK.’ It’s wrong. You can’t do that. He is expected to attend events and be around and be as accessible as his grandfather was.’”
This seems more than a little unfair as Harry made it clear he wanted to keep his military associations but was ordered to withdraw from his role as Captain General of the Marines. The prestigious post has been left vacant in the hope that he might resume his ceremonial duties next year after a 12-month review of the new arrangements.
We suspect Harry would like nothing better than to visibly support the Marines, but has likely been advised not to until the review is complete.
The bear necessities
A more immediate concern for Harry and Meghan might be that they have been warned a wild bear is prowling near their home.
Officials say the black bear has a den on a nearby ranch. They say it may have been attracted to the area by Harry and Meghan’s wealthy neighbors’ chicken coops in Montecito.
The California Department of Fish and Wildlife says the bear is looking for food, and that includes chickens.
“It's not like they can’t afford fresh eggs but for some reason the folks there think they need a chicken coop,” a spokesman told the Sun.
Off with her head. No, really.
It’s not the kind of breaking news and juicy gossip in which the Royalist usually trades, but new details have emerged about the beheading of Anne Boleyn, a little under 500 years ago.
A Tudor warrant book in Britain’s National Archives has an extraordinary passage, which bears instructions from Henry VIII explaining precisely how he wanted his second wife, Anne Boleyn, to be executed.
In this document, the king stipulated that, although his queen had been “adjudged to death… by burning of fire… or decapitation”, he had been “moved by pity” to spare her the more painful death of being “burned by fire,” but, he continued: “We, however, command that… the head of the same Anne shall be… cut off.”
Tracy Borman, a leading Tudor historian, told the Observer: “As a previously unknown document about one of the most famous events in history, it really is gold dust, one of the most exciting finds in recent years. What it shows is Henry’s premeditated, calculating manner. He knows exactly how and where he wants it to happen.”
Boleyn was incarcerated in the Tower of London on May 2, 1536 for adultery. At her trial, she was depicted as unable to control her “carnal lusts.” She refuted the charges but was found guilty of treason and condemned to be burned or beheaded at “the King’s pleasure.”
Her real crime was her failure to give Henry a son. Ironically enough, their daughter became one of England’s most powerful and successful monarch’s, Elizabeth I. She didn’t marry.
Archewell: the launch
The website for Archewell, Meghan Markle and Prince Harry’s non-profit, is up and running—complete with dictionary definitions to help us understand its name!
“Arche” is a Greek word meaning “source of action", and “Well,” is “a plentiful source or supply; a place we go to dig deep.” Their fans can sign up for updates about what Archewell is up to (yes, we have).
In April, the couple told the Telegraph they wanted Archewell “to do something of meaning, to do something that matters.” Quite what that means specifically remains to be seen, but the trademark applications include “organizing and conducting support groups for persons in need,” including “emotional counseling” and “coordinating social, personal care, and psychological services,” the Telegraph reported.
One application covers a website “in the field of nutrition, general health, and mental health.”
The Telegraph added that trademark applications covering clothing, “namely, tops, bottoms, shirts, skirts, dresses, pants, jeans, shorts, sweaters, jackets, socks; loungewear; rainwear; footwear; headwear” and “calendars; photographs; posters; art prints; paper stationery; journals; notebooks; pens; pencils; paperclips; binders,” are thought to have been made purely as a protective measure to stop brand-squatters using their name to make money.
This week in royal history
On October 31, 1955, Princess Margaret announced she would not marry her divorced true love Group Captain Peter Townsend. Church tradition was set against the couple, the public backed them. Back then, the Church and tradition won.
Margaret’s statement read: “I would like it to be known that I have decided not to marry Group Captain Peter Townsend. I have been aware that, subject to my renouncing my rights of succession, it might have been possible for me to contract a civil marriage. But, mindful of the Church's teachings that Christian marriage is indissoluble, and conscious of my duty to the Commonwealth, I have resolved to put these considerations before others. I have reached this decision entirely alone, and in doing so I have been strengthened by the unfailing support and devotion of Group Captain Townsend. I am deeply grateful for the concern of all those who have constantly prayed for my happiness.”
Unanswered Questions
One more bit of Prince Andrew-related news surfaces in this weekend’s papers: a Mother Jones writer, Leland Nally, who phoned every single number in Jeffrey Epstein’s leaked contact book, says he spoke to one woman on his list who told him she met Epstein at an art fair in Palm Beach, Florida. He quotes the woman as saying: “Epstein came up to me and said, ‘Would you like a date with Prince Andrew?’”
So, did she?
