Opinion

Trump’s Hush Money Trial Is Peak Manhattan

BIGLY

From restless jurors with more important places to be, to the defendant who’s the city’s most-hated homeboy—Judge Merchan’s courtroom is the Big Apple.

opinion
A photo of Donald Trump smiling as he walks into a bodega in Manhattan.
Spencer Platt/Getty Images

On the first day of former President Donald Trump’s hush money trial, Judge Juan Merchan asked the prospective jurors if there was any reason they couldn’t be impartial. More than half said yes, which surprised me. Who wanted out this early?

Then again, the jurors are from Manhattan. They’re busy.

So far, this case has been Peak Manhattan. The charges themselves are a mix between very serious election interference and a salacious episode of Sex and the City. Mostly election interference, OK! I know it’s a really big deal.

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But still, it’s not inaccurate to call this the Sluttiest of the Trump Trials. If all you knew about Manhattan was from television, you might assume sleeping with adult film stars and then paying them to shut up about it was commonplace in this city. And honestly, it could be! I’m from Manhattan myself and I’ve never done it, but I can’t speak for all of us.

The jury selection, so far, has also felt like a Manhattan cliche. Specifically, how busy Manhattan-dwellers are.

I know, I know: People are busy everywhere. However, there’s data suggesting New Yorkers do work longer hours to pay their exorbitant living expenses, and Manhattan remains the most expensive place in the nation.

Those long, grueling hours of just existing as a New Yorker have already been on display for this jury selection.

There was the prospective juror who responded to a question about his hobbies with “I have no spare time.” There was the one multi-tasker who listened to NPR in the shower. There were several prospective jurors who praised Trump for another peak-New Yorker trait: bluntness.

And there’s Trump himself, who reportedly dozed off on both days of his trial. In the city that never sleeps, take your naps when you can get ’em.

These people are busy, and Judge Merchan is respecting their time. Many were concerned jury selection could take weeks, but Merchan says he hopes to begin opening arguments Monday. This is a slutty trial full of busy people with other places to be. This is Peak Manhattan.

If all you knew about Manhattan was from television, you might assume sleeping with adult film stars and then paying them to shut up about it was commonplace in this city.

With one exception. At this point, despite the power nap, I would not say Trump is at his Peak Manhattan.

He’s maybe the most famous person in the world, so it’s no longer fair for Manhattan to claim him as our personal villain. But he once was.

Before he haunted the world, he haunted the borough. The tacky Fifth Avenue Trump Tower. The ads he took out calling for the death penalty against the wrongly accused Central Park Five. The millions of dollars he’s fleeced from taxpayers and stiffed contractors. The unreasonably priced tiny ice skating rink (which severed ties with Trump after Jan. 6, but—to be fair—has continued to charge unreasonable prices).

Those aren’t Trump’s worst offenses by a mile, and they haven’t been for a long time. But it is the same man.

To an extent, this case feels like a throwback to an earlier version of Trump. And it is—the alleged crimes took place before he was elected. Unfortunately, I worry that works against it—that the Manhattan vibes of the case undermine it.

Of course, Trump is obviously guilty; Michael Cohen literally already went to jail for related crimes. But I understand why people think that of all the Trump cases, this one is the most trivial or the least likely to hurt his election chances. I worry his crimes simply fit the perceived norm for a rich Manhattan businessman.

Still, I think there’s a reason to be optimistic. I would argue we can position this case to hurt Trump in a unique way.

That ultra-Manhattan version of him is still there—maybe this case can remind everyone that he’s still a wealthy, entitled New York businessman who doesn’t care who he has to step on to succeed. And that means he’s not some kind of Rust Belt hero who cares about nothing but saving the auto industry in Ohio. That means he’s not a working-class icon who will start making his billionaire friends pay taxes.

This is a Peak Manhattan case about a Peak Manhattan asshole.

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